So I had a good laugh at myself today some things are FINALLY getting straightened out at work .. I realize I am not the easiest person all of the time however again .. I get super tired of BS and the older I get the less patience I have for it .. pretty much I call people out where I see it and ask if my perception is off .. usually that's enough to make people uncomfortable .. which I honestly don't see as my issue.  We put things out there and then get shocked by the responses someone may give .. it's like ok .. then don't put it out there.  Well, I have been trying to be trained on a program I need to do my job .. and the responses I have gotten have been completely unprofessional from the stand point of .. NOT my job I can't make someone train me .. I'm not their boss.  It's not my job to beg for training.  This is so I can DO my current job .. so what's the deal.  I have literally asked the question .. are you phasing my job out which ok .. at least let me know I'm honestly not going to be angry .. I might be hurt .. however it's a job and I will get another job.  Angry .. not my style I have way to much class.  Needless to say my boss looked slack jawed what would you think?  I have reached out been told that's so and so's thing .. so and so says not my thing it's boss's thing .. ok .. so I got smarter .. LOL .. it takes me a min .. and I started sending email and copying my boss into it so she could see what was going on.  The other thing I heard was well so and so didn't have training and yet so and so trained the other person who could train me so I'm suppose to learn on my own?  REALLY?  I have dealt with pivot tables in excel however .. not really .. and I'm suppose to just know how to do this .. umm .. ok.  I have fumbled my way around to a point.  Soooo .. the last email I sent I copied my boss and the other gal .. I get a reply back that my boss is suppose to train me .. color me stupid at this point I am like seriously .. this is after my boss has told me I'm not being assertive enough .. O.o .. have you met me recently .. exactly how aggressive am I suppose to get without getting taken to HR??? 

LONG story short .. I forward the email to my boss and say .. ok .. I have done what you asked me to do .. what do I do now because you are suppose to train me apparently.  I got back a very short response .. hang tight I will handle.  Sounds good to me .. LOL.  FINALLY at the end of today (keep in mind my email was started yesterday afternoon) I get notified that training is set up and there is NO email attached to the invite .. LOL.  I am sooo over so much stuff at the moment and everything has felt sooo off over the past few months now I feel better however I'm being trained by an angry entitled woman who doesn't think I do anything .. LOL .. ok .. whatever you say. 

I was also able to deal with my oldest and his issues with schooling.  Youngest is in school and had his butt tied in a knot and I triggered him in some odd way because you know I am not allowed to trip on the parenting side walk over a crack however Dad can throw people off the cliff and that's completely forgivable .. I don't get that however not my issue .. it was a LONG miserable dinner out to which HOURS later .. I am finally told what the issue actually is .. the child who hated in his words every day of middle school last year now misses his teachers .. LOL .. oookkk .. apparently they were not "friendly and welcoming".   I did probably say some non alanon truth about life .. the look that must have crossed my face .. honey .. do you not realize that you people (teenagers) and the dislike of their jobs are probably reasons for the lack of enthusiasm for their work .. yes .. ideally everyone would be happy to see your little shining faces .. you are coming into the real adult world my friend.  There is no recess in high school and it's no longer middle school.  So it's about to get really real .. however the attitude happening needs to stay somewhere else .. I can't do moody hormonal kid all year long.  Find your happy place, get happy and make a reason to get excited about school and he's working on it .. trying out for the theater production again this year. 

Then I realized something while my bff and I were talking .. she's the one I have known forever and a day .. she went with me to court a couple years ago.  So when my son finally comes out to the folks back home there is a good possibility people are going to think I'm gay and she is/was my lover .. LMAO .. I actually started laughing so hard I was crying.  This would be a coup de gra  .. in regards to of course that's why I "hate" my XAH .. I would have to be gay and this is why my kid is trans .. these people are so backwards that's what would happen.  It wouldn't be that he tried to screw me over and the relationship was horribly unhealthy .. it would have to be that I was gay. 

I also realized that my dad did an emotional drive by and I am not willing to open that door .. this is a situation of me causing my own pain .. I don't know if I can be honest enough not to have expectations of some kind.  It will be a let down and it's really not his fault because that part would be on me.  What's on him is please stop reaching out.  It's to weird.  I seriously doubt I will need to have the conversation because I don't think he will reach back out.  He's gotten what he wants and there's no further benefit for contact.  (hmm .. I guess I didn't fall far from the tree .. we just tend to look at things very logic drive in that regard, even though no DNA is attached .. LOL).  I did decide today at least if he does I really am not interested in pursuing any kind of relationship .. there's zero cost benefit for me.  What I mean by that is there is nothing emotional that I would gain by having a superficial relationship with him .. it would continue to be superficial and he lacks the ability to be open minded about his grandchild not following the gender expectation.  I have discussed this with my oldest and he came to his own conclusion it wouldn't be a healthy situation given his current relationship with his dad.  I agree with his thought process and there is no need to open a door of disappointment.  You can't expect someone who is blue to behave as if they are red .. and in order to honor the fact he's blue .. I think it's best to leave it alone.  Sometimes that is the right answer.  I won't slam the door .. however I will close it with the understanding we are just way to different and that's ok.  Plus he's frigging friends with my X on facebook and I'm soooo not interested in that whole drama mama stuff. 

Anyway .. it's been a very interesting day with a whole lot of umm .. ookkk .. tomorrow should be beyond entertaining and I will make sure to take notes as well as record what's going on so I have reference to come back to. 

All good at this point .. S :)  

Hey Serenity, I LOVE what you said about being "tired of BS and the older I get the less patience I have for it"  OMG....me to a tee...and yep...I call people out on it and ask them to explain themselves  "what did you mean by that???"  "show me what you are saying"   and NOPE, it sure is not my issue, their BS....I tell them if they don't want bad feedback/karma, then don't put it out there....what we send out comes back to us, so I try to guard my tongue and my actions..if I get "outted" its time for a step 10 or even a  4 because I do not , even unintentionally want to put out bad energy........

I had to laugh at the rest of your post....Love your sense of humour....no challenge is gonna overcome you with that feisty humour....keep it up!!! and thanks for the very entertaining read.......