Hello All! I've been a silent lurker of your message board for quite some time now, finally conjuring up the courage to say Hi! I'm Angela. I've been an "active" member of Al-Anon for about 3 years now. I say "active" because I've been off and on since I started the program - at times, thinking I could fix things without it, coming back when I hit bottom and realize I can't. I also moved several miles away from my home group when my qualifier and I split up, and had a hard time finding a group in my new town that I felt a connection with like I had with my home group. That's not a good excuse, I know. I found your message board searching for some Al-Anon reading material while I have some time to kill at work and its been such a blessing. I do not have an active alcoholic in my life at the moment, and did not grow up with alcoholism in my family. I did grow up thinking the amount of alcohol my friends and I drank through high school and college was OK - until it wasn't. I am not an alcoholic / addict, but several friends and several people around me are identified alcoholics /addicts, have an issue with alcoholism/addiction but have not identified it, or are working a program. I met my qualifier (although she isn't in my life any longer, shes the one that brought me to al-anon - so I will call her my qualifier for now) several years ago through work and she became my partner for about 2 years before she came clean and told me she had a drinking problem. She started her recovery and mentioned Al-Anon, so I checked it out. When I started the program, I too thought I was there to fix my alcoholic and in turn, fix my relationship. When I started attending meetings, reading the material, and working the program I quickly saw I was the one that needed help. I was there for me. I also came to realize that I had a pattern of dating alcoholics - mainly due to the control/fix-it mentality I'd been carrying for quite some time. Despite not attending meetings consistently, I have been consistently reading the material and I meditate frequently on an app called Insight Timer. However, I know am powerless - and I truly do not get better unless I work the program and attend the meetings, so this time i'm back for good and will be looking for a sponsor (finally)! Anyways, I wanted to say hi and to introduce myself. I really appreciate the honesty here. And also the support you all provide. Thank you for being here!
Freetime said
Jul 12, 2018
Welcome, Angela! I am so glad you joined in and shared your story. I too came to realize that I was in Al-Anon for my own recovery. If you have some good meetings to attend, I'm sure you will find a sponsor. Keep coming back.
PosiesandPuppies said
Jul 12, 2018
I too, would like to welcome you, Angela! Keep posting!
Lyne said
Jul 12, 2018
Well greetings Angela-I was reluctant to get immersed in alanon until several years ago, when my pain just became too great. I now have 5 years in and although things aren't perfect, I am much happier and healthier than I was prior to program. Everyone on this board, in my F2F, my sponsor, and my program friends, understand some part of me. That is a healing factor in itself! I hope you can give this gift to yourself, Lyne
hotrod said
Jul 12, 2018
Welcome Glad that you have reached out
Bo said
Jul 12, 2018
amsorann wrote:
Hello All! I've been a silent lurker of your message board for quite some time now, finally conjuring up the courage to say Hi! I'm Angela. I've been an "active" member of Al-Anon for about 3 years now. I say "active" because I've been off and on since I started the program - at times, thinking I could fix things without it, coming back when I hit bottom and realize I can't. I also moved several miles away from my home group when my qualifier and I split up, and had a hard time finding a group in my new town that I felt a connection with like I had with my home group. That's not a good excuse, I know. I found your message board searching for some Al-Anon reading material while I have some time to kill at work and its been such a blessing. I do not have an active alcoholic in my life at the moment, and did not grow up with alcoholism in my family. I did grow up thinking the amount of alcohol my friends and I drank through high school and college was OK - until it wasn't. I am not an alcoholic / addict, but several friends and several people around me are identified alcoholics /addicts, have an issue with alcoholism/addiction but have not identified it, or are working a program. I met my qualifier (although she isn't in my life any longer, shes the one that brought me to al-anon - so I will call her my qualifier for now) several years ago through work and she became my partner for about 2 years before she came clean and told me she had a drinking problem. She started her recovery and mentioned Al-Anon, so I checked it out. When I started the program, I too thought I was there to fix my alcoholic and in turn, fix my relationship. When I started attending meetings, reading the material, and working the program I quickly saw I was the one that needed help. I was there for me. I also came to realize that I had a pattern of dating alcoholics - mainly due to the control/fix-it mentality I'd been carrying for quite some time. Despite not attending meetings consistently, I have been consistently reading the material and I meditate frequently on an app called Insight Timer. However, I know am powerless - and I truly do not get better unless I work the program and attend the meetings, so this time i'm back for good and will be looking for a sponsor (finally)! Anyways, I wanted to say hi and to introduce myself. I really appreciate the honesty here. And also the support you all provide. Thank you for being here!
I have to run into a meeting, but I saw your post and wanted to say welcome...and the part you said above I bolded and underlined...HEAR HEAR!!! Thank you for posting!
Iamhere said
Jul 12, 2018
amsorann - welcome to MIP - glad you found us and so glad that you shared. Keep coming back and know that you're not alone!!
JerryF said
Jul 12, 2018
Aloha Angela and welcome to the family. Sounds like your recovery vehicle needs a battery recharge...Okay drive up to Service and turn it over...(sorry ...was raised metaphoric). Just one of the things I was invited to do when I finally got thru the doors of our Family Group was to do service and so I became coffee maker for the group and was always at a home group meeting. When I started there were very few men in program so I was taken over...er, trained...uh, tenderly handled (that's it) by the women of Al-Anon in Central Valley CA. Actually what was happening then was I was being cared for as my HP sought I should be. That was in 1979 and today still I have a better life then I could have chosen for myself.
It is great you have come back. It is a benefit to all of us. (((((Hugs)))))
Pol said
Jul 12, 2018
Glad to have you back in the program.
Where I live we don't have meetings all we have is AA. So I was having a hard time to work the program but I realized that was an excuse. I wasn't using the tools in front of me like the internet and I've been able to attend online and use forums and really there is a lot of help out there I just had to find it.
The program isn't easy its probably the hardest thing in the world to change yourself when everyone else is not. But its not wrong to want a difference in ourselves so we can find some peace.
Yay you made it and welcome back/to the program.
Hello All! I've been a silent lurker of your message board for quite some time now, finally conjuring up the courage to say Hi! I'm Angela. I've been an "active" member of Al-Anon for about 3 years now. I say "active" because I've been off and on since I started the program - at times, thinking I could fix things without it, coming back when I hit bottom and realize I can't. I also moved several miles away from my home group when my qualifier and I split up, and had a hard time finding a group in my new town that I felt a connection with like I had with my home group. That's not a good excuse, I know. I found your message board searching for some Al-Anon reading material while I have some time to kill at work and its been such a blessing. I do not have an active alcoholic in my life at the moment, and did not grow up with alcoholism in my family. I did grow up thinking the amount of alcohol my friends and I drank through high school and college was OK - until it wasn't. I am not an alcoholic / addict, but several friends and several people around me are identified alcoholics /addicts, have an issue with alcoholism/addiction but have not identified it, or are working a program. I met my qualifier (although she isn't in my life any longer, shes the one that brought me to al-anon - so I will call her my qualifier for now) several years ago through work and she became my partner for about 2 years before she came clean and told me she had a drinking problem. She started her recovery and mentioned Al-Anon, so I checked it out. When I started the program, I too thought I was there to fix my alcoholic and in turn, fix my relationship. When I started attending meetings, reading the material, and working the program I quickly saw I was the one that needed help. I was there for me. I also came to realize that I had a pattern of dating alcoholics - mainly due to the control/fix-it mentality I'd been carrying for quite some time. Despite not attending meetings consistently, I have been consistently reading the material and I meditate frequently on an app called Insight Timer. However, I know am powerless - and I truly do not get better unless I work the program and attend the meetings, so this time i'm back for good and will be looking for a sponsor (finally)! Anyways, I wanted to say hi and to introduce myself. I really appreciate the honesty here. And also the support you all provide. Thank you for being here!
I have to run into a meeting, but I saw your post and wanted to say welcome...and the part you said above I bolded and underlined...HEAR HEAR!!! Thank you for posting!
Aloha Angela and welcome to the family. Sounds like your recovery vehicle needs a battery recharge...Okay drive up to Service and turn it over...(sorry ...was raised metaphoric). Just one of the things I was invited to do when I finally got thru the doors of our Family Group was to do service and so I became coffee maker for the group and was always at a home group meeting. When I started there were very few men in program so I was taken over...er, trained...uh, tenderly handled (that's it) by the women of Al-Anon in Central Valley CA. Actually what was happening then was I was being cared for as my HP sought I should be. That was in 1979 and today still I have a better life then I could have chosen for myself.
It is great you have come back. It is a benefit to all of us. (((((Hugs)))))
Where I live we don't have meetings all we have is AA. So I was having a hard time to work the program but I realized that was an excuse. I wasn't using the tools in front of me like the internet and I've been able to attend online and use forums and really there is a lot of help out there I just had to find it.
The program isn't easy its probably the hardest thing in the world to change yourself when everyone else is not. But its not wrong to want a difference in ourselves so we can find some peace.
Yay you made it and welcome back/to the program.