I wanted to let you know that the investigation was closed. I chose to have another meeting with hr because more things have occurred with my boss. I'll spare you the drama. I worked my program and was true to myself in those situations. It was hard to go to hr and complain about my supervisor a second time but notes were taken and hr assured me that the situation had been escalated and that my boss is being watched. I also know that my boss now has some additional classes assigned to them. Even though the letter states that both concerned understand their accountability in the situation, I have not been given any reprimand or assignment. This is appropriate because I didn't do anything to merit it.  Hr told me not to expect much from my boss at first because my boss has to have time to unlearn their behaviors. Of course I said I understood. 

I see the pattern with my boss and am just going to have to keep my boundaries strong. My supervisor knows I've been to hr and continues to act out.  It's just more subtle - passive aggressive. I'm interested in another job at the company and hr and I discussed that process as well. I haven't been there long enough to make a switch but hr said sometimes exceptions are made and I could come close to the time requirement because job can take a long time to be filled at the company. HR advised reaching out to the hiring manager to meet them, learn about the dept. and the job. It's an advantage to be on site and have an chance to do this. I think it was a great suggestion.

I had a fifteen minute hr appointment that turned into an hour. I told my supervisor where I was when I got back. I then decided it might be the right time to try to get the work my supervisor has been promising but neglecting to give to me. My boss is adding another person to the department and I don't want to end up with all the undesireable duties of the department in retaliation. My boss has now said they will begin to give me those duties next week. 

In the meantime, I am going to take things odaat. It's been a pretty good week even with the drama. I feel I was heard by hr, one of my gf's sent me  a nice friendship card and note and I came into a little extra money. Just want to let you know. Thanks ((everyone)) for the love and support. TT

Thanks (((iamhere))) for your support. This continues to be a very difficult situation on many levels. I applied for the other position and that felt empowering. I know that I deserve better than what I've been getting from this manager. She's already showing signs of retaliation and I am trusting my gut that things are likely not going to get better. It's a daily chore to keep taking care of myself in this situation and naturally I can't keep going to hr to complain about her. I'm putting my Plan B together.

I agree, it's best to be true to ourselves. At least whatever the outcome I will have that. I'll know that I respected myself, acted respectfully even if I wasn't being respected in return. I'm trusting that hp is leading me in this situation and to something better. TT

Thanks (((posies))) for you support. I think it's easier to be courageous when you are new in a job like myself. That's a sad story about your ex but I think a common one. I think the longer you are in a job the harder it becomes to report the abuse. Just the thought of losing a job, retaliation from the boss, losing benefits, job searching again ugh! Not to mention the loss of income and how it affects the rest of the family. My dad went through that too at the end of his career. He came home miserable every day. My boss has one of those special skill sets like your ex's boss and there are other factors as well that might impact the company adversely if they fired my boss. 

Thanks (((jill)) Divorcing is awful, been there too. Lots of lessons from that for sure. Misery making situations and people can really sap a person's energy. I am doing my best to hold my boundaries by saying what I mean, meaning what I say and not saying it mean. Boss continues to play victim for the benefit of others and I continue to calmly respond to the lies and make clear what the facts while leaving my feelings out of it. It really is odaat but it will settle and however it settles I'll be fine. I've surrendered it. Frankly, I'm too exhausted from the drama to do anything but. But that doesn't mean she is going to break me and get her way. The simpler I keep it, the less I engage, the more strength and mental stamina I have to continue to think clearly, state my truth, hear her out and separate facts from lies. Yes, my boss lies about what she says. Sometimes I think she is looking for me to react. She has a long history of abusing my predeccesor which is documented. I am going to just continue to work my program honestly and do an honest day's work there. When she tells me to do things that she can do for herself, looks to make me her personal servant, I pretend I don't hear her. She then doesn't ask again. Sometimes I surprise her and do it. These are niceties by choice not part of my job. I can choose when I am willing to do these things without feeling threatened that she will think I am willing and take advantage of me. I've already told my boss "I've no doubt you can do that for yourself." The person before me was frightened of my boss. I'm not. She'll get use to me or get someone else she can step on but my doormat days have been over a long time. And yes, the other job looked promising so I applied. I would have done it even if I liked my current situation if the other job looked interesting enough. Just my opinion, but companies really don't have loyalty to employees these days so I see no reason not to act on any opportunity that I desire without guilt. 

Thanks (((tude)))) I hope you are looking forward to returning to work and doing something you love. I miss you and everyone at our morning meetings now that I'm working. I feel grateful to have wonderful online friends and in person. Glad you keep coming back. Yep, my friend somehow sends me a card just when I need one most. Must be hp at work :) 

Thanks (((serenityRUS)) I agree. I'm just going to keep leading with my program and take it odaat. 

Thanks (((posiesandpuppies))) for the compliment and encouragement. "Keep on keepin on," you wrote. Yep, I am using my tool of detachment and trying to keep my side of the street clean. It will be whatever it will be but I won't be part of her insanity. LOL she invites me every day with her remarks. I just pretend I don't hear her. For example, she told me yesterday that she had work for me at her desk (next to mine). I was doing work at mine. As I continued working, I said to her if it didn't involve any special instructions from her to just put it in my work box on my desk. She got all huffy and said loudly so others around could here, "I was just trying to be nice." I just kept working. Later I told bf and we had a laugh. I said to him I guess she mean't she was just trying to be nice to herself by not having to get up off her butt to give me the work. So I pick my battles. If it's drama I ignore it. ;)