When I first arrived at the front door of Al-Anon in 1979 I had no idea what I was getting into even when knowing I didn't want to get into anything. I didn't know and didn't know I didn't know however so much was being brought to my attention and eventually my Higher Power removed my resistance to it. I started out attempting to "know" the program and then was led to "living" the program on a daily basis as I do now. I am still affected by this incurable, fatal disease and just knowing about it (includes college study and professional experiences and behaviors) Living the program on a daily basis has become what I do and what works for me. Please continue to work this program for your own peace of mind ....and.... serenity. ((((hugs))))
Bo said
Apr 30, 2018
I love the discussion of working the program -- and to each person, there are parts of "working the program" that are vital, critical, to them. I too didn't want to be a member of this club, LOL. I didn't want to spend my evenings hanging out in a church (I say that because I am Jewish, and I am from NY, so being in a church that often was a bit of a shock, LOL). I didn't want to go, didn't want to have to go, didn't think I should be the one who has to go, and all of those didn't wants, LOL.
I was a human doing...not a human being. Almost a quarter of a century later, I could never be more grateful that what I didn't want to know about and be involved with...is now how I live my life. It became a curriculum for living for me. While it is now how I live my life, the amazing part is that it is innate.
The disease of addiction does not have anywhere or anything like the hold it had on me before I found recovery. Today, the addict/alcoholic doesn't bother me at all. Who I am and how I live doesn't allow it.
It works...if you work it...so work it...you are worth it.
Bo said
Apr 30, 2018
And, thanks Jerry!!!
Jerry F said
Apr 30, 2018
Thank you Bo. Your words come with a lot of echo from the past and as I read them I smile a smile I never thought was in me. LOL Happy Time!! Yay!! So much that was coming to insane fruition hasn't arrived because of so many others.
thank YOU God
Iamhere said
Apr 30, 2018
Great topic Jerry and great share! I arrived at Al-Anon angry as a hornet that my sponsor suggested it. I did not have any interest in working another 12 Step program, and showed up to respect her suggestion and to get the answers on how to fix my A(s). Needless to say, with a closed mind and a crappy-know-it-all attitude, I was a 'one and done' gal at first.
Then life kept happening and the disease kept progressing. My outward anger shattered, and what was left was a lost, desperately broken mother/wife/failure. I returned with my tail between my legs, my heart open and my mouth closed. I was still resistant on many levels but knew I could no longer survive as I had been.
I was confused for a long while as I couldn't decide if my issues were AA or Al-Anon. Thank God I had one sponsor who is also a double winner and a counselor/therapist as well. She has done an awesome job of taming the shrew (me) and nudging me over and over again that my focus on self will result in the greatest amount of serenity and joy. Not always easy when it feels as if the walls are falling down all around me but it's possible. I too am grateful that I live now, just for today. I review each day at bedtime and give it all to God. I no longer curse my A(s), but instead pray for them. I seek to understand, I practice listening, I look to be of service and I am happier than I've ever been. It was hard, tiring, defeating work trying to mold others to be what I wanted - life is much better allowing them to be who they are!
I am beyond words grateful. (((Hugs)))
Jerry F said
Apr 30, 2018
IAMHere...Mahalo for that powerful share. I relate very well to it especially coming with major resistance and an Oppositional Defiant attitude. The old timers were and still are right, If I keep coming back with an open mind and a willingness to be taught I will find what I am looking for and needing. ((((Hugs))))
Iamhere said
May 1, 2018
(((Jerry))) - hugs to you on this wonderful Lei Day!!! I woke up this morning with a powerful message from HP - Let it Begin With Me! Very spot on for a couple of appointments I have today. It works when we work it...
Jerry F said
May 1, 2018
Mahalo Sister, thanks for the wishes. Right now I sit computer side and close to the window that views the front lawn with the hundreds of family birds we care for with happiness. Javas and sparrows and different kinds of doves and cardinals two very loyal yellow finches and more. I'm working my gratitude program and my humility and more. Reading the posts I thought care and compassion and empathy for the alcoholics and addicts on my island and in my life. Life is good. I may go get my wife a gardenia lei..."white and wonderful". ((((hugs))))
Aline said
May 1, 2018
Thank you for sharing, Jerry. Speaks to me too a lot.
Iamhere said
May 1, 2018
When you get a moment brother, send some sunshine back my way - would ya? It's been a bit dreary and cloudy today with a few rain showers. We desperately need the rain - just wish the sun could shine while it happens....I too am gratefully enjoying my day - subbing for softball tonight if the weather cooperates!
canadianguy said
May 4, 2018
Aloha Jerry!
When I first entered the doors of Al-Anon (mostly because of how unmanageable my life was at home), I went to one or two meetings, and stopped going - somewhat disgruntled and disappointed, as all I saw in my two meetings were a bunch of bitter women, complaining about their alcoholic husbands. I wanted recovery, and this was NOT for me. Alas, I went back home, and didn't go back to a meeting for perhaps six months, while my life at home became even more unmanageable.... Imagine my surprise, when I found the Al-Anon meeting to be one of warmth, understanding, growth, and support. Wow, had those same people ever learned a lot in the six months I was away, lol....
The group was one and the same - I was just ready to hear and receive them the second time around, and my life became so much better as a result....
Tom
hotrod said
May 4, 2018
Hi Tom Thanks so much for sharing with such honesty. I have really missed you. I. like yourself did not take to alanon at my first introduction So glad that we came back.
Jerry F said
May 4, 2018
TOM!!! How the heck have you been? It is good to hear from you again so I guess I've been missing your in put. Like Hotrod I have a Tom space that has been empty for a while and now it is filled again. Yeah we know your story and I would like to here the what's been happening with you recently. You still attending the groups? Have you taken up residence with your HP? Fill us in. ((((hugs))))
When I first arrived at the front door of Al-Anon in 1979 I had no idea what I was getting into even when knowing I didn't want to get into anything. I didn't know and didn't know I didn't know however so much was being brought to my attention and eventually my Higher Power removed my resistance to it. I started out attempting to "know" the program and then was led to "living" the program on a daily basis as I do now. I am still affected by this incurable, fatal disease and just knowing about it (includes college study and professional experiences and behaviors) Living the program on a daily basis has become what I do and what works for me. Please continue to work this program for your own peace of mind ....and.... serenity. ((((hugs))))
I was a human doing...not a human being. Almost a quarter of a century later, I could never be more grateful that what I didn't want to know about and be involved with...is now how I live my life. It became a curriculum for living for me. While it is now how I live my life, the amazing part is that it is innate.
The disease of addiction does not have anywhere or anything like the hold it had on me before I found recovery. Today, the addict/alcoholic doesn't bother me at all. Who I am and how I live doesn't allow it.
It works...if you work it...so work it...you are worth it.
And, thanks Jerry!!!
Thank you Bo. Your words come with a lot of echo from the past and as I read them I smile a smile I never thought was in me. LOL Happy Time!! Yay!! So much that was coming to insane fruition hasn't arrived because of so many others.
thank YOU God
Then life kept happening and the disease kept progressing. My outward anger shattered, and what was left was a lost, desperately broken mother/wife/failure. I returned with my tail between my legs, my heart open and my mouth closed. I was still resistant on many levels but knew I could no longer survive as I had been.
I was confused for a long while as I couldn't decide if my issues were AA or Al-Anon. Thank God I had one sponsor who is also a double winner and a counselor/therapist as well. She has done an awesome job of taming the shrew (me) and nudging me over and over again that my focus on self will result in the greatest amount of serenity and joy. Not always easy when it feels as if the walls are falling down all around me but it's possible. I too am grateful that I live now, just for today. I review each day at bedtime and give it all to God. I no longer curse my A(s), but instead pray for them. I seek to understand, I practice listening, I look to be of service and I am happier than I've ever been. It was hard, tiring, defeating work trying to mold others to be what I wanted - life is much better allowing them to be who they are!
I am beyond words grateful. (((Hugs)))
IAMHere...Mahalo for that powerful share. I relate very well to it especially coming with major resistance and an Oppositional Defiant attitude. The old timers were and still are right, If I keep coming back with an open mind and a willingness to be taught I will find what I am looking for and needing. ((((Hugs))))
Mahalo Sister, thanks for the wishes. Right now I sit computer side and close to the window that views the front lawn with the hundreds of family birds we care for with happiness. Javas and sparrows and different kinds of doves and cardinals two very loyal yellow finches and more. I'm working my gratitude program and my humility and more. Reading the posts I thought care and compassion and empathy for the alcoholics and addicts on my island and in my life. Life is good. I may go get my wife a gardenia lei..."white and wonderful". ((((hugs))))
Aloha Jerry!
When I first entered the doors of Al-Anon (mostly because of how unmanageable my life was at home), I went to one or two meetings, and stopped going - somewhat disgruntled and disappointed, as all I saw in my two meetings were a bunch of bitter women, complaining about their alcoholic husbands. I wanted recovery, and this was NOT for me. Alas, I went back home, and didn't go back to a meeting for perhaps six months, while my life at home became even more unmanageable.... Imagine my surprise, when I found the Al-Anon meeting to be one of warmth, understanding, growth, and support. Wow, had those same people ever learned a lot in the six months I was away, lol....
The group was one and the same - I was just ready to hear and receive them the second time around, and my life became so much better as a result....
Tom
Hi Tom Thanks so much for sharing with such honesty. I have really missed you.
I. like yourself did not take to alanon at my first introduction So glad that we came back.
TOM!!! How the heck have you been? It is good to hear from you again so I guess I've been missing your in put. Like Hotrod I have a Tom space that has been empty for a while and now it is filled again. Yeah we know your story and I would like to here the what's been happening with you recently. You still attending the groups? Have you taken up residence with your HP? Fill us in. ((((hugs))))