One more weird observation about my gut reactions....
themoonandthestars said
Apr 14, 2018
I have been busying myself with an organizational project. This requires me to go through mountains of old paperwork and pictures. As I sort through these pictures I find myself looking at the ones of our AS with thoughts of "this was BEFORE he got sick" or "Look at his eyes. All lies." I feel so ANGRY towards the disease for stealing our son. I am immaturely, irrationally, and pettishly angry at "him" for being a LIAR in the beginning, for not fighting harder. Now, it is just a way of life for him, but when I look at the pics of him at the *very* beginning stage, in the first few months of "deciding" to do drugs/huff/drink I feel robbed of our "real son". Man, do I need a meeting, or what???
hotrod said
Apr 14, 2018
You are not alone Please do search out a meetings and remember to stay in the moment and let go and Let God
Dutchy said
Apr 14, 2018
It's difficult as I feel the disease creeos up and progresses without people realising how bad it actually is and I've realised since my husbamd that there are an awful lot of people who drink loads and don't actually think it's too bad. It's frightening in some ways.
The disease tool over from your son and it is going to take work from your son to overtake the disease and the will power to fight it.
I have been busying myself with an organizational project. This requires me to go through mountains of old paperwork and pictures. As I sort through these pictures I find myself looking at the ones of our AS with thoughts of "this was BEFORE he got sick" or "Look at his eyes. All lies." I feel so ANGRY towards the disease for stealing our son. I am immaturely, irrationally, and pettishly angry at "him" for being a LIAR in the beginning, for not fighting harder. Now, it is just a way of life for him, but when I look at the pics of him at the *very* beginning stage, in the first few months of "deciding" to do drugs/huff/drink I feel robbed of our "real son". Man, do I need a meeting, or what???