since we asked our son to leave and got the restraining order. I fluctuate from feeling AWESOMELY FREE and SAFE from his violence to HORRIBLY GUILTY and FEARFUL of a possible revenge attack. Last night I found I was *very* triggered by driving alone in the dark. I had to pick up my daughter at school after an event. It just so happened to be around the hour that our AS is typically drunk/violent/in need of medical attention. Then police and ambulance would be called and we would head off into the dark, down the same roads I traveled last night to get my daughter. I thought I had come much further. I have not cried, I'm not angry, just resolved in our decision to keep him away from us after his last blackout violent attack on my husband which resulted in a bite-wound to the eye. I am ok during the day, but as the sun goes down I start to have racing thoughts and adrenaline starts pumping. I went to a non-al-anon support group on Thursday and plan to go to an Al-Anon discussion meeting tonight.
-- Edited by themoonandthestars on Saturday 14th of April 2018 09:04:30 AM
Iamhere said
Apr 14, 2018
(((Hugs))) - sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. Enforcing boundaries is very hard when it's your kid - speaking from experience. Take good care of you and be gentle with yourself!
SerenityRUS said
Apr 14, 2018
Good for you on finding support. This is hard stuff. Many prayers and support to you and your family. Hugs s :)
serenity47 said
Apr 14, 2018
Good for you for seeking support. Most of us cannot do it alone. It is incredibly difficult to detach from our children when the natural instinct of a parent is to protect them from harm. I came to the realization that our lives matter to. I became willing to not allow the disease of addiction to take over my life. The best gift I can give my loved ones is a happy, healthy, intact family. Let it begin with me.
since we asked our son to leave and got the restraining order. I fluctuate from feeling AWESOMELY FREE and SAFE from his violence to HORRIBLY GUILTY and FEARFUL of a possible revenge attack. Last night I found I was *very* triggered by driving alone in the dark. I had to pick up my daughter at school after an event. It just so happened to be around the hour that our AS is typically drunk/violent/in need of medical attention. Then police and ambulance would be called and we would head off into the dark, down the same roads I traveled last night to get my daughter. I thought I had come much further. I have not cried, I'm not angry, just resolved in our decision to keep him away from us after his last blackout violent attack on my husband which resulted in a bite-wound to the eye. I am ok during the day, but as the sun goes down I start to have racing thoughts and adrenaline starts pumping. I went to a non-al-anon support group on Thursday and plan to go to an Al-Anon discussion meeting tonight.
-- Edited by themoonandthestars on Saturday 14th of April 2018 09:04:30 AM