Today's reading addresses two key concepts in AlAnon, Acceptance and Surrender. Far from suggesting weakness, acceptance calls for acknowledgement of the people, places and things we cannot control, and to surrender is to take our God or Higher Power's will over our own.
Adopting these two attitudes is challenging, but the effort is well rewarded. We no longer have to burn our resources trying to change what cannot be, and we receive needed help and guidance from our higher power.
Reminder: I don't have to accept misery as the only path...No one can distort my thinking unless I allow it.
"God help me to accept the responsibility for finding a better way of life through surrendering to you and your guidance." - Unknown
************
When I found AlAnon, I thought the alcoholic was my problem. I stuck around long enough to find out that was not true. I found out that I was the problem, that by focusing on things outside of my control I had become as sick as the alcoholic and my life was unmanageable as a result.
By working the program, daily reading and meditation, AlAnon helps me keep the focus on the things I can control: my thoughts, attitudes, and actions. My serenity is directly proportional to the extent that I accept and surrender. Without AlAnon, I would not have known that was even possible.
Grateful for the reminders of the program
el-cee said
Mar 16, 2018
Great reading, thank you.
Acceptance of everything and everyone as they are right now in this moment. Can be difficult to accept when your loved one has pressed the self destruct button and your watching their life go down the pan. I think I've gotten better at acceptance when I connect with my higher power, just knowing that their are higher workings going on in all our lives, we don't see very far and so our assessment or judgement of people places and things is based on a very short sighted view. So judging something as bad or good right or wrong is not based on the full facts and never can be. So the only option is to accept, accept that all is unfolding as it should. For me I want to fix, control, tidy up the world to look like I think it should. Its quite a ridiculous idea really, very immature and arrogant to think that I could possibly know what is good for another human being when i find it a hard job to know what is good for me.
Surrender is the ultimate gift for me. Its what got me into Alanon and opened to a new way of thinking and living. Getting to surrender was painful, my life was a complete mess and it was that mess that got me a chink of humility. I had been beaten down by the disease enough and i thank God for that. It left me like a sponge, ready to absorb the Al Anon philosophy and I did and fast. That was 6yrs ago. Today, I want to surrender all my old ideas that block me, all my shortcomings that block me from the goodies, the love, kindness, good will for others, connections with others, with God, the compassion and forgiveness. All these equal freedom to me and I want them but i'm realising through working the steps again that this is a lifelong journey and I need patience as I move along through it.
Thanks again
hotrod said
Mar 16, 2018
Hello Paul thank you for posting your thoughts on this reading I believe that developing these 2 attitudes were crucial to my recovery. Meetings, the slogans and Steps all helped me to look inward, discover, my hidden controlling drivers, release them and finally grow into acceptance and surrender. Life on life's terms is certainly a powerful way to live.
Thanks for your service
Lyne said
Mar 16, 2018
Thank you for the daily and all the ESH. It's such a relief to know I am not alone. That's one of the gifts of alanon. I too, thought I knew what was best for my A, and I tried like heck to fix her, for years! And like others, I could not see how sick I had become, until I started program. I am grateful for so many aspects of program which have offered me such a better and saner way to live my life, Lyne
Iamhere said
Mar 16, 2018
Good afternoon MIP - thank you Paul for your service and the daily. Thank you all for the ESH above me. I too am grateful that choosing acceptance over trying to control, change, cure others has given me a path to a more peaceful life. And I fought surrendering until the pain got so great, I wasn't positive I wanted to continue life as was/is.
These two little words were extremely helpful for me in simplifying life. To this day, anytime I begin to feel discomfort with another person, place or thing, I turn inward to test if it's a 'me thing' or if it's a real thing. The longer I am in recovery, I find my discomfort way less frequent, and my acceptance of things and people as they are.
I am grateful that I no longer give me power away to others freely. I am grateful that recovery allows me to spend quality time with quality people. I am grateful that we have so many tools to help us get to where we want to be. Starting my day with HP helps me remember that surrendering is NOT a bad thing and acceptance of others as they are in a given moment is actually the highest form of love I can give/feel.
I am cooking 10 lbs. of corn beef, taters, cabbage, carrots and more for our Irish Feast!! We are doing it today/tonight vs. tomorrow based on schedules. As a testament to how well the program works when we work it - my AH decided to put the new, expensive, memory foam dog bed I bought Layla out on the patio for added comfort when he was golfing. I am a neat/clean freak and would never have done this as I try hard to keep the outside dirt outside!!!
Needless to say, it rained here overnight. I did not notice the newest bed was MIA as she's got 2 others - 1 in each of her favorite rooms. So - when I went to let her out this morning, I saw it. Trust me when (before coffee) my first thought was far from pleasant, spiritual or even quasi-kind. As I brewed the coffee and looked around, I realized he made an effort to clean the kitchen and had vacuumed the entire first floor (super-sized ... all carpeted). He had done some laundry and a few other things that are typically my responsibility. He had gotten all the mail and sorted out the bills/important from the junk.
In summary, my HP was helping me get my focus back to the effort vs. the results. He was trying to make my dog, who is older, more comfortable. And - it's just a darn dog bed!!! I was able to thank him instead of berate, inquire, chastise or belittle his efforts - that's what I've learned in Al-Anon.
(((Hugs)))
Aline said
Mar 16, 2018
Thanks for your service, Paul, and all the ESH. I'm especially grateful for this thread today, as I had a situation today that kind of tested me, and acceptance and surrender was/is definitely something that was very important to keep as close to me as I could. Thanks all for being here :)
Stan1 said
Mar 19, 2018
Thank you for your service Paul and ESH from all. I am truly at my wits end tonight and as much as I understand that I am powerless it is extremely difficult watching my AS self destruct with his 5 month pregnant wife in the midst of the storm. Although he is not physically violent he gets verbally ugly. She set a boundary with him last time around that she wouldn't stay if he was drinking. He poured everything down the drain and all was well until last week and he relapsed. So she backed her boundary and went to stay with a relative for a few days. Tonight we get another call :she is sick and he is drunk and just saying ugly things. Well it's 10 pm and we don't want our pregnant daughter in law out looking for a place to sleep so my RAH decided to just go in and spend the night for everyone s peace of mind. This is so sad to watch.
hotrod said
Mar 19, 2018
(((Stan1) this is indeed a dreadful disease. I am so very sorry to read of your pain and the disruption this disease is causing in your home. Sending positive thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
Iamhere said
Mar 20, 2018
(((Stan1))) - So very sorry for the chaos/drama this disease brings. I too am sending you positive thoughts and prayers.
Today's reading addresses two key concepts in AlAnon, Acceptance and Surrender. Far from suggesting weakness, acceptance calls for acknowledgement of the people, places and things we cannot control, and to surrender is to take our God or Higher Power's will over our own.
Adopting these two attitudes is challenging, but the effort is well rewarded. We no longer have to burn our resources trying to change what cannot be, and we receive needed help and guidance from our higher power.
Reminder: I don't have to accept misery as the only path...No one can distort my thinking unless I allow it.
"God help me to accept the responsibility for finding a better way of life through surrendering to you and your guidance." - Unknown
************
When I found AlAnon, I thought the alcoholic was my problem. I stuck around long enough to find out that was not true. I found out that I was the problem, that by focusing on things outside of my control I had become as sick as the alcoholic and my life was unmanageable as a result.
By working the program, daily reading and meditation, AlAnon helps me keep the focus on the things I can control: my thoughts, attitudes, and actions. My serenity is directly proportional to the extent that I accept and surrender. Without AlAnon, I would not have known that was even possible.
Grateful for the reminders of the program
Acceptance of everything and everyone as they are right now in this moment. Can be difficult to accept when your loved one has pressed the self destruct button and your watching their life go down the pan. I think I've gotten better at acceptance when I connect with my higher power, just knowing that their are higher workings going on in all our lives, we don't see very far and so our assessment or judgement of people places and things is based on a very short sighted view. So judging something as bad or good right or wrong is not based on the full facts and never can be. So the only option is to accept, accept that all is unfolding as it should. For me I want to fix, control, tidy up the world to look like I think it should. Its quite a ridiculous idea really, very immature and arrogant to think that I could possibly know what is good for another human being when i find it a hard job to know what is good for me.
Surrender is the ultimate gift for me. Its what got me into Alanon and opened to a new way of thinking and living. Getting to surrender was painful, my life was a complete mess and it was that mess that got me a chink of humility. I had been beaten down by the disease enough and i thank God for that. It left me like a sponge, ready to absorb the Al Anon philosophy and I did and fast. That was 6yrs ago. Today, I want to surrender all my old ideas that block me, all my shortcomings that block me from the goodies, the love, kindness, good will for others, connections with others, with God, the compassion and forgiveness. All these equal freedom to me and I want them but i'm realising through working the steps again that this is a lifelong journey and I need patience as I move along through it.
Thanks again
Thanks for your service
These two little words were extremely helpful for me in simplifying life. To this day, anytime I begin to feel discomfort with another person, place or thing, I turn inward to test if it's a 'me thing' or if it's a real thing. The longer I am in recovery, I find my discomfort way less frequent, and my acceptance of things and people as they are.
I am grateful that I no longer give me power away to others freely. I am grateful that recovery allows me to spend quality time with quality people. I am grateful that we have so many tools to help us get to where we want to be. Starting my day with HP helps me remember that surrendering is NOT a bad thing and acceptance of others as they are in a given moment is actually the highest form of love I can give/feel.
I am cooking 10 lbs. of corn beef, taters, cabbage, carrots and more for our Irish Feast!! We are doing it today/tonight vs. tomorrow based on schedules. As a testament to how well the program works when we work it - my AH decided to put the new, expensive, memory foam dog bed I bought Layla out on the patio for added comfort when he was golfing. I am a neat/clean freak and would never have done this as I try hard to keep the outside dirt outside!!!
Needless to say, it rained here overnight. I did not notice the newest bed was MIA as she's got 2 others - 1 in each of her favorite rooms. So - when I went to let her out this morning, I saw it. Trust me when (before coffee) my first thought was far from pleasant, spiritual or even quasi-kind. As I brewed the coffee and looked around, I realized he made an effort to clean the kitchen and had vacuumed the entire first floor (super-sized ... all carpeted). He had done some laundry and a few other things that are typically my responsibility. He had gotten all the mail and sorted out the bills/important from the junk.
In summary, my HP was helping me get my focus back to the effort vs. the results. He was trying to make my dog, who is older, more comfortable. And - it's just a darn dog bed!!! I was able to thank him instead of berate, inquire, chastise or belittle his efforts - that's what I've learned in Al-Anon.
(((Hugs)))