Iām really struggling with my husband. He is unable to stay sober, Iām not sure at what point I should leave. Iām new to all of this. Any advice ?
Jerry F said
Mar 3, 2018
Aloha Jen, for me and from my experience I came to understand that there were different stages of leaving my alcoholic/addict that included mental and emotional separation and detachment, social detachment, financial and more. I came to understand that she had more value than I had given her approval for and so I started reeling some of that back in so that I would not encourage the disease to continue to taking all of her out of my life. It allowed me to stand off and listen and watch and let HP take control of both her and I which helped me to understand so much more and to let my unconditional love increase. We didn't stay married. As bad as it was for me living with an active alcoholic/addict wife it was as bad and more dangerous for her living with a man who at times displayed uncontrolled rage. I believe HP was concerned and caring for both she and I and when we split I knew I felt unconditional love and acceptance of her while understanding that there was no reason for us to be married. We parted in love and I remain caring and concerned about her even after the passing of nearly 40 years. Thank you God. ((Hugs))
MeTwo2 said
Mar 4, 2018
Have you tried face to face meetings Jennifer ? Do you have a sponsor ? it's suggested to newcomers in face to face to make no life changing decisions to stay or to go for several months .. i say til after we've worked further in the steps with sponsor .. never advice in alanon .. merely a suggest (that may or may not be 'worth listening to) .. wishing you serenity 'today .. lord knows it isn't easy living with (or loving) an alcoholic without spiritual 'help ..
Aloha Jen, for me and from my experience I came to understand that there were different stages of leaving my alcoholic/addict that included mental and emotional separation and detachment, social detachment, financial and more. I came to understand that she had more value than I had given her approval for and so I started reeling some of that back in so that I would not encourage the disease to continue to taking all of her out of my life. It allowed me to stand off and listen and watch and let HP take control of both her and I which helped me to understand so much more and to let my unconditional love increase. We didn't stay married. As bad as it was for me living with an active alcoholic/addict wife it was as bad and more dangerous for her living with a man who at times displayed uncontrolled rage. I believe HP was concerned and caring for both she and I and when we split I knew I felt unconditional love and acceptance of her while understanding that there was no reason for us to be married. We parted in love and I remain caring and concerned about her even after the passing of nearly 40 years. Thank you God. ((Hugs))