Today's reading talks about care-taking and enabling. The writer suggests that even as a child, she had grown-up responsibilities. This taught her to give to others first and to dive into any crisis without any thoughts of self. In recovery, she learned that this was a form of self-destructiveness, and set out to wipe out all such behavior and attitudes - desiring to instead become self-involved and uncaring.
She failed fortunately! Years later, she's still a caretaker and probably will always be but now views it as an asset when not extreme. She chooses to no longer do for others what they can/could do for themselves, yet practices nurturing self and others. Al-Anon helped her find balance in the learned behavior of her upbringing so that it can be a valued characteristic instead.
Today's reminder -- Today I will try not to condemn parts of myself while accepting other parts. I am a composite, and I love myself best when I embrace all that I am.
Today's quote -- from Mahatma Gandhi -- "My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet."
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I can relate to the desire/approach to be opposite of who/how I was before! I arrived at recovery with very black/white thinking and assumed that what I knew, thought and believed was the best route for others. Al-Anon gave me shades of gray processing as well as the awareness that I truly do not know what is best for anyone - self included. It is through the spiritual growth I experience when practicing this program that my path becomes known, and I still have the choice each day to follow it or not.
I did way more than I should have for my boys. From simple to complex, I did 'it' as I thought that was the only way it would be done 'right'. Today I realize that my best intentions were not of service but instead were my attempt to control. I still at times feel the need to bite my tongue or sit on my hands so they can follow their own path....yet each time I trust the process, program and HP - things do turn out much better than how it used to be.
I am one who believes our character defects we identify in recovery are actually assets that we exploited. I do not believe these are exploited with ill intent, but rather with good intentions and perceived love. My own insanity caused by this disease fogged my brain to where I could not accept this in myself. That fog cleared with the program, steps, sponsor, etc. Practice, practice, practice - not only do I see me differently, I see others differently. As I worked on balance in me, my compassion for others improved as well as my ability to accept unconditionally what 'is' vs. what I want to be.
Happy Friday MIP! Our temperatures are above freezing so the rain that fell overnight did not freeze (yay!!). I've got a bunch of errands as I've been hibernating this week. Make it a great day and stay safe/warm...(((hugs)))
hotrod said
Feb 23, 2018
Good Morning IAH Great example of a asset that can easily be distorted into a defect. it is interesting to note that the reading makes a huge distinction between caring for others and" abandoning' ourselves and caring for others while we take care of ourselves. With alanon tools I have leaned to focus on myself, evaluate my needs and wants ( look to those first) and then reach out and care for others. What a difference -- Finding balane is crucial. Have a great day and thanks, as always for your service .
Today's reading talks about care-taking and enabling. The writer suggests that even as a child, she had grown-up responsibilities. This taught her to give to others first and to dive into any crisis without any thoughts of self. In recovery, she learned that this was a form of self-destructiveness, and set out to wipe out all such behavior and attitudes - desiring to instead become self-involved and uncaring.
She failed fortunately! Years later, she's still a caretaker and probably will always be but now views it as an asset when not extreme. She chooses to no longer do for others what they can/could do for themselves, yet practices nurturing self and others. Al-Anon helped her find balance in the learned behavior of her upbringing so that it can be a valued characteristic instead.
Today's reminder -- Today I will try not to condemn parts of myself while accepting other parts. I am a composite, and I love myself best when I embrace all that I am.
Today's quote -- from Mahatma Gandhi -- "My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can relate to the desire/approach to be opposite of who/how I was before! I arrived at recovery with very black/white thinking and assumed that what I knew, thought and believed was the best route for others. Al-Anon gave me shades of gray processing as well as the awareness that I truly do not know what is best for anyone - self included. It is through the spiritual growth I experience when practicing this program that my path becomes known, and I still have the choice each day to follow it or not.
I did way more than I should have for my boys. From simple to complex, I did 'it' as I thought that was the only way it would be done 'right'. Today I realize that my best intentions were not of service but instead were my attempt to control. I still at times feel the need to bite my tongue or sit on my hands so they can follow their own path....yet each time I trust the process, program and HP - things do turn out much better than how it used to be.
I am one who believes our character defects we identify in recovery are actually assets that we exploited. I do not believe these are exploited with ill intent, but rather with good intentions and perceived love. My own insanity caused by this disease fogged my brain to where I could not accept this in myself. That fog cleared with the program, steps, sponsor, etc. Practice, practice, practice - not only do I see me differently, I see others differently. As I worked on balance in me, my compassion for others improved as well as my ability to accept unconditionally what 'is' vs. what I want to be.
Happy Friday MIP! Our temperatures are above freezing so the rain that fell overnight did not freeze (yay!!). I've got a bunch of errands as I've been hibernating this week. Make it a great day and stay safe/warm...(((hugs)))
Good Morning IAH Great example of a asset that can easily be distorted into a defect. it is interesting to note that the reading makes a huge distinction between caring for others and" abandoning' ourselves and caring for others while we take care of ourselves. With alanon tools I have leaned to focus on myself, evaluate my needs and wants ( look to those first) and then reach out and care for others. What a difference -- Finding balane is crucial.
Have a great day and thanks, as always for your service .