Hi all, I'm rambling here. I've been dealing with some health issues in my broken thinking............I keep thinking they are just simply going to go away if I eat right and keep on putting one foot in front of the other. I guess that fits in with "denial" and fear. I looked at the calendar and it's been over 2 months now of dealing with severe to moderate headaches with very few days of breaks from the headaches over this time. The past week, whatever is causing the headaches is now effecting my vision whether the headache is present or not........so my fear went thru the roof IF I allow myself to think about it. Mornings aren't as bad as afternoon/evenings are with the vision junk.
Today I finally took action and made an appointment with a specialist who treated me years ago for black mold. I am now having panic attacks in hopes that is all this is...........and if it is, that I haven't let it go for too long etc. Hmmm...why do I panic over doc appointments lol, they are a fact of life...
Add to that.......my AF found out today she does not get her DL back w/out a breathalyzer installed......and not even sure if she will get it back before the end of the month as it is. I have not driven this past week due to the vision, dizziness and headache junk. My waiting on a good day to drive in went out the window when the vision issues began. We are very rural. Closest trip to any city that has gov offices is app 40 minutes away.......she needs to go in Thursday to get the deal installed and then find out if they're going to reinstate her DL after it is all taken care of.
I am proud of myself that I didn't get upset at the whole thing when she told me.....maybe a bit of shock but regardless the program has taken me from being angry with her to compassion and that is wonderful!
I have not told hubby any of this yet with the exception of he may have to drive me to my appt if the diet and cleanse doesn't begin to help soon.....he doesn't mind taking me in.........I minded having to ask him and didn't want to go down this road again.....but then again.......part of self care and asking for what I need.....So am thinking the fear of his response to the AF not having her DL back yet.....is just fear... and my projections...most likely from some past issues that are still healing as I learn to care more for myself. The fear will pass when I frame it in the correct way.....and truly give it to God.
Thanks for listening:)
Iamhere said
Feb 12, 2018
(((Tude))) - good for you for taking action!! Sending you tons of positive thoughts/prayers! Take good care of you and go just ODAT...
hotrod said
Feb 12, 2018
((Tude)) send HP before you to the appointment and then let go. Sending positive thoughts your way
SerenityRUS said
Feb 12, 2018
Hugs Tude,
Sounds like you are in a good place except the health issues. UGH .. that's so not fun. I hope that you are taking very good care of yourself.
The stuff with your AF is so not your issue however she may have some rude awakenings of her own regarding the whole breathalyzer stuff. NONE OF THIS IS YOUR ISSUE .. I'm clarifying. I always find it interesting that people who are dealing with realities of certain situations do not get it. I'm referring to your alcoholic friend.
I kind of feel a little like Inigo Montonya, .. I do not think your friend understands exactly what this means financially.
That's not your worry .. I have a strong feeling more will be revealed and the driving will wait longer than the end of the month. They may find out moving to a less rural area would be of benefit to them.
Hugs S :)
Jerry F said
Feb 12, 2018
You're working it good tude...real good; restored to sanity Yay. It took me a while to reach this kind of self management with daily practice and devotion to Al-Anon principles and the fellowship hugging me on. It works when you work it. ((((hugs))))
Tude said
Feb 13, 2018
Thank you all for your responses and encouragement. Hubs was calm about the whole deal most likely more so because I was calm about it all. Things do look better when that fear junk has calmed down. Amazing how it can sneak in and grow if left unchecked!
The AF will get the installation.......of course all this time her boss is calling her to come in to work. I've not taken her to work. Nor would I if I could. It is pretty odd having someone in this predicament literally stuck on your property. She is learning the hard way for sure. I will say she is continuing to work her program regardless and it does show. Her home group is holding phone AA meetings with her 3 times a week and her sponsor takes her out for coffee occasionally.
My heart and the wanting to help do still get in the way. My way when I allow my emotions to think about caving in......Not her way these days. After all the bad news she got yesterday, I did pick up the phone last night to just say hello for a few. It's interesting how differently we both respond being in AA and Alanon. She's using the slogans and then some. They help me hang on too during the stresses!
Hugs everyone and yes, I will certainly take HP to the doctor with me:)
Hi all, I'm rambling here. I've been dealing with some health issues in my broken thinking............I keep thinking they are just simply going to go away if I eat right and keep on putting one foot in front of the other. I guess that fits in with "denial" and fear. I looked at the calendar and it's been over 2 months now of dealing with severe to moderate headaches with very few days of breaks from the headaches over this time. The past week, whatever is causing the headaches is now effecting my vision whether the headache is present or not........so my fear went thru the roof IF I allow myself to think about it. Mornings aren't as bad as afternoon/evenings are with the vision junk.
Today I finally took action and made an appointment with a specialist who treated me years ago for black mold. I am now having panic attacks in hopes that is all this is...........and if it is, that I haven't let it go for too long etc. Hmmm...why do I panic over doc appointments lol, they are a fact of life...
Add to that.......my AF found out today she does not get her DL back w/out a breathalyzer installed......and not even sure if she will get it back before the end of the month as it is. I have not driven this past week due to the vision, dizziness and headache junk. My waiting on a good day to drive in went out the window when the vision issues began. We are very rural. Closest trip to any city that has gov offices is app 40 minutes away.......she needs to go in Thursday to get the deal installed and then find out if they're going to reinstate her DL after it is all taken care of.
I am proud of myself that I didn't get upset at the whole thing when she told me.....maybe a bit of shock but regardless the program has taken me from being angry with her to compassion and that is wonderful!
I have not told hubby any of this yet with the exception of he may have to drive me to my appt if the diet and cleanse doesn't begin to help soon.....he doesn't mind taking me in.........I minded having to ask him and didn't want to go down this road again.....but then again.......part of self care and asking for what I need.....So am thinking the fear of his response to the AF not having her DL back yet.....is just fear... and my projections...most likely from some past issues that are still healing as I learn to care more for myself. The fear will pass when I frame it in the correct way.....and truly give it to God.
Thanks for listening:)
Sounds like you are in a good place except the health issues. UGH .. that's so not fun. I hope that you are taking very good care of yourself.
The stuff with your AF is so not your issue however she may have some rude awakenings of her own regarding the whole breathalyzer stuff. NONE OF THIS IS YOUR ISSUE .. I'm clarifying. I always find it interesting that people who are dealing with realities of certain situations do not get it. I'm referring to your alcoholic friend.
I kind of feel a little like Inigo Montonya, .. I do not think your friend understands exactly what this means financially.
That's not your worry .. I have a strong feeling more will be revealed and the driving will wait longer than the end of the month. They may find out moving to a less rural area would be of benefit to them.
Hugs S :)
You're working it good tude...real good; restored to sanity Yay. It took me a while to reach this kind of self management with daily practice and devotion to Al-Anon principles and the fellowship hugging me on. It works when you work it. ((((hugs))))
The AF will get the installation.......of course all this time her boss is calling her to come in to work. I've not taken her to work. Nor would I if I could. It is pretty odd having someone in this predicament literally stuck on your property. She is learning the hard way for sure. I will say she is continuing to work her program regardless and it does show. Her home group is holding phone AA meetings with her 3 times a week and her sponsor takes her out for coffee occasionally.
My heart and the wanting to help do still get in the way. My way when I allow my emotions to think about caving in......Not her way these days. After all the bad news she got yesterday, I did pick up the phone last night to just say hello for a few. It's interesting how differently we both respond being in AA and Alanon. She's using the slogans and then some. They help me hang on too during the stresses!
Hugs everyone and yes, I will certainly take HP to the doctor with me:)