Hugs MG,

Are you still attending meetings? That and working with a sponsor makes a HUGE difference.

Ok .. you messed up and you are human .. I can relate because I do that at least daily or apparently I haven't been living my best life. :)

I find that when I am in that mood I really have to step back and give myself a grown up timeout that means I practice HHALT. Hormonal, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (some people add S at the end for Sick, as in ill). Once I do an inventory and I figure out if I'm not meeting my own self care needs then I can come back and revisit if I have been out of line .. and yes .. sometimes I need to apologize.

I find I tend to make a mountain out of a molehill and a molehill out of a mountain so I can blow something up and do something drastic like quitting a project or whatever and I spend the evening practicing my best martyr behavior .. woe is me for being bad S.

What I encourage you to do is AFTER you have gotten over yourself (which I tend to have to do first), then approach the person in question and offer an apology with no butts. I was having a really bad day and I was out of line for taking it out on you. This is something I am working on because it's not attractive and it's not who I want to be. Then I follow through by doing what I say .. which is working on the behavior in question. Sometimes I am just an ass no different than a million other people in the world .. it's my self awareness that I know better so I can do better that makes the difference.

I garner to bet that you are just as much of an asset as this other persona and what they choose to do is up to them. They can quit or they can accept that people are human and make mistakes by moving forward and you doing your part by following through on the change in behavior.

Big hugs, and please keep coming back .. I also find when my life is unmanageable that it's time for a tune up program wise and figure out how I wish to be.

S :)

Hi MG-Wow I was reminded of how critical I used to be towards myself. It's taken a lot of work to learn how to forgive myself. I like Serenity's suggestion to apologize to the other person, and also the awareness that we are all human , we all make mistakes, always will, and can't be perfect . What I was impressed by was that you are so aware of you own behavior , and that awareness for me helps me make goals to strive for. Keep coming back, Lyne

(((Moviegal))) When I came in here........ I had a type of anger that I just could not get rid of, and.......I didn't understand it either. I've not been an angry person over my life. I was the doormat until some A's in my life (active and dry drunk) came into the picture and also were very opposite (lazy) me personality. I can seriously look back and see why my family slowed contact with me. I had become like a someone I didn't know and someone they did not know either. It seemed everything made me angry. Most of it I held in until it went on overload. I had one nice young man get in the way and got literally run over with my temper. He was on my amends list. There were more.

These days, that sneaky stuff with the area of anger are no longer there thanks to my HP whom I call God and thanks to this program and all in here! Before this I would battle and hope the anger was gone. BUT, it would always return. It truly is gone now and in place of it is peace. And I learned to let go, let God and let everyone choose their own paths, whether good or bad. I do slip, I am not perfect but that horrific anger is gone.

The steps gave me my sanity back. I could "see" where I was wrong, where things I tried to control were there even though I thought in many cases they weren't. I hope you keep coming back!

Hugs!

Make amends to her and then you. Then the steps to get to the truth of it then you may become entirely ready. Not sure what else regarding her leaving. Her choice and most likely less to do with you than you think.

Thank you all for your replies. I have read them over and over and now have to face the music as it is Friday. Thanks for the support. Sometimes I can say things here that I can't say at my face to face meetings.