Readiness for Alanon: The reading starts out with a Zen Buddhist saying: When the student is ready, the teacher appears . Anotherwords, we all get to Alanon at the right time. The writer says she heard about program as a teen, but didn't show up for 20 years. No nagging could have gotten her there any faster.
Today's Reminder: There is no magic wand that can make others ready for Alanon. And it is presumptuous to assume that I have a better idea of their true path than they do. Let me help those who want help. When my life improves as a result of working the program myself, I do more to carry the message than I ever cold by forcing it on others.
Quote from The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage: Let me not dilute the effectiveness of the help I can give by letting it take the form of giving advice. I know I will never have enough insight into amother's life to tell that person what is best to do.
I did not ever plan to attend a live meeting. I occasionally wrote on the message board for several years. Stubborn? Unaware? Afraid? But when the pain reached a level I could not tolerate any longer, I sought out a sponsor and began attending F2F meetings. Best decision of my entire life! I hadn't been ready. Pain made me ready! Lyne
Freetime said
Feb 4, 2018
Lyne, thank you for this powerful reading.
The same happened for me... when I could not tolerate the pain any longer, that is when I became willing to seek an Al-Anon meeting and embrace the program.
I like how the message in this reading helps us forgive ourselves, as I like others have said "I wish I'd found A-Anon sooner." I guess I just was not ready sooner.
I also like the idea that giving advice is diluting what we could better show by example, not words -- and by listening more than we speak.
hotrod said
Feb 4, 2018
dear Lyne thank you for sharing your thoughts on this important reading. I know I was looking for a "Magic Wand" to solve my problems when i found alanon, I certainly was disappointed when I was handed the Steps, and Slogans and was told that recovery was a process and that Meeting makers make it . That indicated I had to work for my serenity. y I am so pleased that I too was in enough pain (like you) to keep coming back , pick up the tools and discover faith in my HP . Love the fact that alanon has a principle of not giving advice.
Iamhere said
Feb 4, 2018
Thanks Lyne for your service and the daily. Thanks Betty and freetime for your shares and ESH. I fought for so, so long against this disease before arriving at Al-Anon. And yes - total devastation and pain is what had me arrive. I love that saying and it wasn't just true then - it continues to be true today.
In my recovery journey, when fear, doubt, insanity begins to creep back in, I tend to pray for guidance. I am always given answers - call my sponsor, call a program friend, go to a meeting, read some literature, etc. I am so grateful that when I am humble (teachable) and ready, I am always guided to the trail back to my spiritual journey.
I too was disappointed when I arrived and was not given a fast solution. I still resisted and slowly just came around to the realization that if I wanted change, it was going to have to be within me. I too am grateful that I kept trying what was suggested, kept coming back, worked with a sponsor and found my spiritual way.
I am watching the 'big game' and I am thrilled that it's been such a great game. Have a great evening all! (((Hugs)))
Tude said
Feb 5, 2018
Thank you Lyne and for all the ESH's!
Pain certainly got me here. I do wish I had found this site sooner but my thinking was so messed up it took God to get me here. Without the pain I would not have worked as hard on my beginning in here. I was desperate to get out of the pain and fears. Thanks to this program and all of you, I have peace in my life again today.
I do have to catch myself when someone is losing their mind over trying to control an alcoholic/addict in their lives. Just because I want them out of pain and...........want them to stop enabling the alcoholic.......it doesn't mean they are ready. Just for today, I will keep living the program vs trying to give instructions to someone else.
Have a great Monday and hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Skorpi said
Feb 5, 2018
Thanks all for the ESH! Thank you, Lyne, for your service.
Pain, indeed. AlAnon was a scary concept for me. If I went, I had to admit that my wife was an alcoholic and that I was going to have to deal with that in our marriage. I couldn't pretend that we were a normal, happy couple anymore. When the pain got so intense I couldn't take it anymore, that is what got me to AlAnon. I am glad that I walked through those doors, glad my HP arranged for a kind man living in a shelter housed in the same church to greet me outside and walk with me to the room, and glad to have MIP and a fantastic home group to support me on this journey.
Happy Monday, All!
PeacefulLove said
Feb 5, 2018
Good Morning All!
I cannot thank you enough for being here for me. This mornings reading was AMAZING, and I have been reminded once again that the teachers and mentors, the tools will show up when I become ready. When I first met my RAH just over 3 years ago I wanted to support his walk in sobriety and I attended some of my first Al-Anon meetings. Bottom line for me at that time is that I was not yet ready - for many different reasons. The biggest being that I just did not understand this disease or how it could affect me. I finally got to a place of pain this past Christmas with another family member suffering from this disease. This is what brought me to Al-Anon. Months ago I found this group and had been reading your posts but was too afraid to speak up at the time. It was not until I felt that my life was completely out of control that I grabbed onto the hope that Al-Anon brought to me. I know it will be a process for me, something that I am okay with today. Months ago, I wanted the quick fix. But after spending many hours in the rooms of AA with my RAH, and now getting a closer glimpse of his progress and how it has taken him 17 years to get to this point, I accept the process. And I do see it in myself in just the few short weeks that I have begun putting the steps into process within the context of my daily life. I no longer rush in to help him save the day or the moment as I once had. I have become more aware of myself in moments throughout my day where before I was the last consideration on my mind. Now I have begun the delicate balance of trying to be helpful and meaningful in my responses but no longer saving people as I once had done. And I am beginning to feel more accepting of myself in certain aspects, not always worried what other people have to say about me. I am desperately trying to mind my own business and checking in with myself throughout the day to make sure I am taking care of myself.
Thank You for your encouragement and support along the way in my journey. I do not know what I would do if you hadnt been at the other side of my computer screen.
Blessings to all!
hotrod said
Feb 5, 2018
PeacefulLove keep coming back. It is a pleasure sharing the journey.
Iamhere said
Feb 5, 2018
PeacefulLove - so glad that you're feeling/seeing growth in recovery. That's what is so awesome about the WE aspect of the program - when anyone, any where reaches out, we let the hand of Al-Anon be there and let it begin with each of us. I too am glad you're part of my journey!
bud said
Feb 5, 2018
Great reading and shares! I still have to remind myself to stop looking for that mythical magic wand in my Alanon tool kit... many thanks as I'm grateful and count my blessings.
Readiness for Alanon: The reading starts out with a Zen Buddhist saying: When the student is ready, the teacher appears . Anotherwords, we all get to Alanon at the right time. The writer says she heard about program as a teen, but didn't show up for 20 years. No nagging could have gotten her there any faster.
Today's Reminder: There is no magic wand that can make others ready for Alanon. And it is presumptuous to assume that I have a better idea of their true path than they do. Let me help those who want help. When my life improves as a result of working the program myself, I do more to carry the message than I ever cold by forcing it on others.
Quote from The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage: Let me not dilute the effectiveness of the help I can give by letting it take the form of giving advice. I know I will never have enough insight into amother's life to tell that person what is best to do.
-----------------------------------------------------
I did not ever plan to attend a live meeting. I occasionally wrote on the message board for several years. Stubborn? Unaware? Afraid? But when the pain reached a level I could not tolerate any longer, I sought out a sponsor and began attending F2F meetings. Best decision of my entire life! I hadn't been ready. Pain made me ready! Lyne
The same happened for me... when I could not tolerate the pain any longer, that is when I became willing to seek an Al-Anon meeting and embrace the program.
I like how the message in this reading helps us forgive ourselves, as I like others have said "I wish I'd found A-Anon sooner." I guess I just was not ready sooner.
I also like the idea that giving advice is diluting what we could better show by example, not words -- and by listening more than we speak.
In my recovery journey, when fear, doubt, insanity begins to creep back in, I tend to pray for guidance. I am always given answers - call my sponsor, call a program friend, go to a meeting, read some literature, etc. I am so grateful that when I am humble (teachable) and ready, I am always guided to the trail back to my spiritual journey.
I too was disappointed when I arrived and was not given a fast solution. I still resisted and slowly just came around to the realization that if I wanted change, it was going to have to be within me. I too am grateful that I kept trying what was suggested, kept coming back, worked with a sponsor and found my spiritual way.
I am watching the 'big game' and I am thrilled that it's been such a great game. Have a great evening all! (((Hugs)))
Pain certainly got me here. I do wish I had found this site sooner but my thinking was so messed up it took God to get me here. Without the pain I would not have worked as hard on my beginning in here. I was desperate to get out of the pain and fears. Thanks to this program and all of you, I have peace in my life again today.
I do have to catch myself when someone is losing their mind over trying to control an alcoholic/addict in their lives. Just because I want them out of pain and...........want them to stop enabling the alcoholic.......it doesn't mean they are ready. Just for today, I will keep living the program vs trying to give instructions to someone else.
Have a great Monday and hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pain, indeed. AlAnon was a scary concept for me. If I went, I had to admit that my wife was an alcoholic and that I was going to have to deal with that in our marriage. I couldn't pretend that we were a normal, happy couple anymore. When the pain got so intense I couldn't take it anymore, that is what got me to AlAnon. I am glad that I walked through those doors, glad my HP arranged for a kind man living in a shelter housed in the same church to greet me outside and walk with me to the room, and glad to have MIP and a fantastic home group to support me on this journey.
Happy Monday, All!
Good Morning All!
I cannot thank you enough for being here for me. This mornings reading was AMAZING, and I have been reminded once again that the teachers and mentors, the tools will show up when I become ready. When I first met my RAH just over 3 years ago I wanted to support his walk in sobriety and I attended some of my first Al-Anon meetings. Bottom line for me at that time is that I was not yet ready - for many different reasons. The biggest being that I just did not understand this disease or how it could affect me. I finally got to a place of pain this past Christmas with another family member suffering from this disease. This is what brought me to Al-Anon. Months ago I found this group and had been reading your posts but was too afraid to speak up at the time. It was not until I felt that my life was completely out of control that I grabbed onto the hope that Al-Anon brought to me. I know it will be a process for me, something that I am okay with today. Months ago, I wanted the quick fix. But after spending many hours in the rooms of AA with my RAH, and now getting a closer glimpse of his progress and how it has taken him 17 years to get to this point, I accept the process. And I do see it in myself in just the few short weeks that I have begun putting the steps into process within the context of my daily life. I no longer rush in to help him save the day or the moment as I once had. I have become more aware of myself in moments throughout my day where before I was the last consideration on my mind. Now I have begun the delicate balance of trying to be helpful and meaningful in my responses but no longer saving people as I once had done. And I am beginning to feel more accepting of myself in certain aspects, not always worried what other people have to say about me. I am desperately trying to mind my own business and checking in with myself throughout the day to make sure I am taking care of myself.
Thank You for your encouragement and support along the way in my journey. I do not know what I would do if you hadnt been at the other side of my computer screen.
Blessings to all!