I don't know if you all read my post about my son but he is 28- in a downward spiral. My daughter called and said he texted her and asked the name and number for the therapist she recommended to him a while back... I know he KNOWS he has a problem- but I also understand the courage it takes to ask for help. He is 28, and single... makes it harder I think when you are "so alone"... I hurt so bad for him and just want to see him happy...
Jerry F said
Jan 17, 2018
LuvMySun There is a lot of pain in that kind of relationship and the program can ease it. I've been around along time and have witness the Alcoholics and Addicts come to feel the pain their spouses and families feel. Often times that becomes their bottom and they reach out for sober help. Here's hoping and praying your son is doing that also. (((((hugs)))))
hotrod said
Jan 17, 2018
((Kari)) Positive thoughts continue
LuvMySun said
Jan 17, 2018
Thank you. I know he is so torn up inside- and it's hard being his Mom and watching it and being so helpless. Why can't he be 4 years old and have a skinned knee?
Jerry F said
Jan 17, 2018
Nice thought and even nicer wish however we strive for sanity which is often time not easy to reach until I leave it up to my HP. Alcohol and drug addiction isn't a "kiss and make it better" condition, When I attempted those fixes I never imagined the pain I received afterward. I memorized the early Al-Anon definition of alcoholism and repeated it daily to myself...memorizing it so I would not and could not forget. ((((hugs))))
Iamhere said
Jan 17, 2018
I'm sending tons of positive thoughts and prayers for you and your son. We never know when recovery might happen so hope is always offered in recovery. Sending that too.
I do hear you on the 4 years old and just a skinned knee. (((Hugs)))
bud said
Jan 17, 2018
Sending prayers and positive thoughts.
LuvMySun said
Jan 18, 2018
Thank you. I am discovering he is harboring many ill thoughts and feelings toward his AF (alcoholic father) and I lot of blame is being put on his father...while I understand his feelings and it all may be true- it's really neither here nor there. Son is holding grudges and blaming... I know that won't help him. I know he needs to deal with and forgive his Dad so he can move on and get better himself- otherwise he is just just repeating everything he hates about his Dad... he (said) he is making an appointment with a physchologist- I pray he keeps it. It will be a positive start in the right direction I think. Thanks for listening. Kari
Maresie said
Jan 18, 2018
I definitely had a dysfunctional family. I had to be really clear about how they affected my life. I know that the route through ACA issues has been one for certain people in recovery. ..
I used to think I knew what others needed to do. Now I an more willing to let them be in their process. It is hard tok take a hands off approach.
I hope this psychologist is a match for him. The fact he is reaching out is a good thing .
Maresie
Tude said
Jan 19, 2018
Being newly back in Alanon I am seeing so many things I thought I could change. I am also waking up and crossing the river of denial......what brought me back in were the A's that were effecting me at the present...........or so I thought.......by working this program I am also seeing much more that had me frozen in fears. All of them revolving around the A's in my life, whether they were having active issues at the time or not. I am so grateful the fears are gone today but more so the trying to fix them.
I too am an adult child of an alcoholic and a "double winner." Two days ago I realized my son sharing the amount of alcohol he consumed during one evening was not normal. I had pushed this to the back of my mind in denial. Also due to him not binging often.......well, now he's off work due to a severe injury, his workaholism isn't working for him and in this.......I need to make sure I do not "help."
I cannot change a thing. If I stay focused on the situation it will only cause more fear, more insanity. The best way my son can "need me" is if I am taking care of me and have peace in my life. This is also attraction rather than promotion of the 12 step programs. I want him/them, all the A's in my life to see and want what I have. The only way I can do this is by working this program and taking advantage of all it suggests. I really does work!
I don't know if you all read my post about my son but he is 28- in a downward spiral. My daughter called and said he texted her and asked the name and number for the therapist she recommended to him a while back... I know he KNOWS he has a problem- but I also understand the courage it takes to ask for help. He is 28, and single... makes it harder I think when you are "so alone"... I hurt so bad for him and just want to see him happy...
LuvMySun There is a lot of pain in that kind of relationship and the program can ease it. I've been around along time and have witness the Alcoholics and Addicts come to feel the pain their spouses and families feel. Often times that becomes their bottom and they reach out for sober help. Here's hoping and praying your son is doing that also. (((((hugs)))))
Thank you. I know he is so torn up inside- and it's hard being his Mom and watching it and being so helpless. Why can't he be 4 years old and have a skinned knee?
Nice thought and even nicer wish however we strive for sanity which is often time not easy to reach until I leave it up to my HP. Alcohol and drug addiction isn't a "kiss and make it better" condition, When I attempted those fixes I never imagined the pain I received afterward. I memorized the early Al-Anon definition of alcoholism and repeated it daily to myself...memorizing it so I would not and could not forget. ((((hugs))))
I do hear you on the 4 years old and just a skinned knee. (((Hugs)))
I definitely had a dysfunctional family. I had to be really clear about how they affected my life. I know that the route through ACA issues has been one for certain people in recovery. ..
I used to think I knew what others needed to do. Now I an more willing to let them be in their process. It is hard tok take a hands off approach.
I hope this psychologist is a match for him. The fact he is reaching out is a good thing .
Maresie
I too am an adult child of an alcoholic and a "double winner." Two days ago I realized my son sharing the amount of alcohol he consumed during one evening was not normal. I had pushed this to the back of my mind in denial. Also due to him not binging often.......well, now he's off work due to a severe injury, his workaholism isn't working for him and in this.......I need to make sure I do not "help."
I cannot change a thing. If I stay focused on the situation it will only cause more fear, more insanity. The best way my son can "need me" is if I am taking care of me and have peace in my life. This is also attraction rather than promotion of the 12 step programs. I want him/them, all the A's in my life to see and want what I have. The only way I can do this is by working this program and taking advantage of all it suggests. I really does work!
So glad you are here!
Hugs!!!