LOL .. there is a story here and it made me LOL to myself today. Way back in early, early pre alanon, right at the beginning of my journey with alanon. My XAH and I lived on a farm. It wasn't ours .. we were renting. Landlords lived next door .. they were fun .. NOT.
My XAH decided he was going to build a windmill. He wanted to self generate power and so on .. great idea .. seriously however .. I did mention not our land and we lived next door to the landlords .. so kind of think they might have noticed this go up .. LOL. One of the lines I used was you aren't Don Quixote, I'm not Dulcena or Poncho Sanchez. Although I think at that point I was probably Poncho Sanchez .. LOL, I had my own crazy happening.
I was having a DM conversation with someone and that story popped up and I realized that OMGOSH .. Iwas Don Quixote trying to fight the windmills of HIS mind for so many years and that was SO NOT OK. I mean for me. I gave away so much time, energy and so on being so focused on that danged windmill I forgot to put the focus back on me.
These are the conversations that are going on in my head at the moment in dealing with my kid. I am really going to have to pay attention to what I fight and don't with him or I will be fighting the windmills of his mind and those aren't mine to tackle at the moment.
Anyways, it was a funny thought especially given the circumstances of life at the moment. I did decide to make the drive Saturday and get everything settled .. that's because MY schedule worked out to do that and I want to have breakfast or coffee and visit without hearing everything is FINE. I mean I hope that it is good, I hope that he's getting settled .. however there has been much better communication based upon the fact he is realizing life is a lot easier for him when it's like that. I can't do the whole dishonesty, sneaking, lying, secrets and not following through .. I have done that and he's welcome to .. however I'm not participating in that game. It's just not my problem at this point.
No more windmills .. especially the one's that don't belong to me!!!
Thanks for listening, S :)
PosiesandPuppies said
Jan 12, 2018
What a great share! NO MORE WINDMILLS! I think we can make it into a "slogan!" LOL!
Seriously, though... great insight into your past responses and how easy it is to get caught up doing past behaviors, and how to stop them.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts today!
Iamhere said
Jan 12, 2018
(((Hugs))) Serenity - I agree....just for today, my motto is No More Windmills! Enjoy the trip to visit and keep working it! Great share - love when things pop into my mind and it makes sense when it never did before...
Lyne said
Jan 12, 2018
Thanks for your share! I can relate to your analogy as I did the same with all my A's, and have to be careful with my grown son. That's why I keep coming back to program. I know I can easily slip back if I don't keep all my tools sharpened by constant contact with all aspects of alanon. I'm a grateful member, Lyne
SerenityRUS said
Jan 13, 2018
Well my X is still fighting the windmills of his mind and I don't have to participate .. he doesn't understand court .. he doesn't understand not paying what's owed .. he doesn't understand. So .. I'm bracing for a wind storm in a week .. I don't have to participate .. I know this however it's hard because I get knots in my stomach and when he's thought he's set me up .. he doesn't understand that's not the case. Had he not had surgery .. he wouldn't be hallucinating. However it is what it is and it's not my issue. He's going to get smacked and that's just what it is.
He still believes he dictates what happens in my life financially and what will happen is he's going to find out he doesn't. He's also going to be PISSED about some other things .. again .. not my problem. Looks like I will be going to court .. however it's not going to be my issue.
LOL .. there is a story here and it made me LOL to myself today. Way back in early, early pre alanon, right at the beginning of my journey with alanon. My XAH and I lived on a farm. It wasn't ours .. we were renting. Landlords lived next door .. they were fun .. NOT.
My XAH decided he was going to build a windmill. He wanted to self generate power and so on .. great idea .. seriously however .. I did mention not our land and we lived next door to the landlords .. so kind of think they might have noticed this go up .. LOL. One of the lines I used was you aren't Don Quixote, I'm not Dulcena or Poncho Sanchez. Although I think at that point I was probably Poncho Sanchez .. LOL, I had my own crazy happening.
I was having a DM conversation with someone and that story popped up and I realized that OMGOSH .. Iwas Don Quixote trying to fight the windmills of HIS mind for so many years and that was SO NOT OK. I mean for me. I gave away so much time, energy and so on being so focused on that danged windmill I forgot to put the focus back on me.
These are the conversations that are going on in my head at the moment in dealing with my kid. I am really going to have to pay attention to what I fight and don't with him or I will be fighting the windmills of his mind and those aren't mine to tackle at the moment.
Anyways, it was a funny thought especially given the circumstances of life at the moment. I did decide to make the drive Saturday and get everything settled .. that's because MY schedule worked out to do that and I want to have breakfast or coffee and visit without hearing everything is FINE. I mean I hope that it is good, I hope that he's getting settled .. however there has been much better communication based upon the fact he is realizing life is a lot easier for him when it's like that. I can't do the whole dishonesty, sneaking, lying, secrets and not following through .. I have done that and he's welcome to .. however I'm not participating in that game. It's just not my problem at this point.
No more windmills .. especially the one's that don't belong to me!!!
Thanks for listening, S :)
Seriously, though... great insight into your past responses and how easy it is to get caught up doing past behaviors, and how to stop them.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts today!
He still believes he dictates what happens in my life financially and what will happen is he's going to find out he doesn't. He's also going to be PISSED about some other things .. again .. not my problem. Looks like I will be going to court .. however it's not going to be my issue.
Hugs S :)