Hi friends I am just so exhausted. My mum is here visiting. It's great to have an extra pair of hands around and not have to be working so closely with my AH in order to get stuff done or look after our son. On the other hand, my mum has been reminding me of a lot of things from my childhood that I don't like. She treats my son differently than I do and its hard to be patient and let her have her own relationship with him. It's a big challenge for me.
Something I am pleased with is that I was able to be more vulnerable with her. I told her some things that I wouldn't have said in the past and was just more real and expressed that I do have feelings and I am affected by her behvaiours in the past. She is much healthier now and was able to hear what I said.
I really need to get plugged back into program. I haven't been in touch with the people from program that I have spoken to in the past and I also haven't been able to get to meetings. There is only one per week and I just wasn't able to make it last week becasue I didn't have childcare and its a long time to go between meetings. So the next meeting is finally tonight. I really want to start working the steps but the woman I asked to be my sponsor wants me to get a bunch of books and I don't have money and it takes a long time for books to get here. I know having literature is important but just in the middle of this separation I don't know what's flying financially and really only want to spend on essentials. As I write this I realise that it's probably silly and if I tell her I can't get it I am sure we can find a way to start.
I think my husband is going to rehab in the next few days. He's been out of control angry and irritable. He's shoplifting again.
Anyway thanks all for listening.
Mattie said
Jan 1, 2018
Wishing you the best and continued patience and program! Sounds as if you're tackling it all with a lot of awareness, which is what we all hope for.
hotrod said
Jan 1, 2018
((Anne)) Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
Iamhere said
Jan 1, 2018
(((Annie))) - continued positive thoughts and prayers headed your way. My parents have been here for almost 2 weeks, leaving today. I fully relate to the 'pleasant/not so much' of having them around. Wishing you a peaceful New Year...(((Hugs)))
Freetime said
Jan 1, 2018
Hi Annie, hang in there. There is always hope. About the books needed to work your program, maybe ask your sponsor if she can be a bit flexible in what you need right now. Some content may be available online. I know if you were a regular attendee in my meeting, I'd be willing to lend you one of my books. Purchasing books helps the world-wide Al-Anon organization financially, and we all donate what we can, but I believe the spirit is to carry the message to anyone willing to hear it, regardless of ability to pay.
Hi friends I am just so exhausted. My mum is here visiting. It's great to have an extra pair of hands around and not have to be working so closely with my AH in order to get stuff done or look after our son. On the other hand, my mum has been reminding me of a lot of things from my childhood that I don't like. She treats my son differently than I do and its hard to be patient and let her have her own relationship with him. It's a big challenge for me.
Something I am pleased with is that I was able to be more vulnerable with her. I told her some things that I wouldn't have said in the past and was just more real and expressed that I do have feelings and I am affected by her behvaiours in the past. She is much healthier now and was able to hear what I said.
I really need to get plugged back into program. I haven't been in touch with the people from program that I have spoken to in the past and I also haven't been able to get to meetings. There is only one per week and I just wasn't able to make it last week becasue I didn't have childcare and its a long time to go between meetings. So the next meeting is finally tonight. I really want to start working the steps but the woman I asked to be my sponsor wants me to get a bunch of books and I don't have money and it takes a long time for books to get here. I know having literature is important but just in the middle of this separation I don't know what's flying financially and really only want to spend on essentials. As I write this I realise that it's probably silly and if I tell her I can't get it I am sure we can find a way to start.
I think my husband is going to rehab in the next few days. He's been out of control angry and irritable. He's shoplifting again.
Anyway thanks all for listening.
Wishing you the best and continued patience and program! Sounds as if you're tackling it all with a lot of awareness, which is what we all hope for.