My X must have had surgery and of course when he was laying out his story he didn't mention when the surgery would occur. So honestly it could have been before he sent the email whining or shortly after. Remember he couldn't get surgery if his blood was all wonky. This really goes to show me nothing with this man has changed. So he made a very conscious decision not to tell me what was going on. I didn't ask and no I wasn't very compassionate about his woes. In his typical fashion he's made it all about him and I really don't see it as my problem. After everything the kids and I have endured and gotten through in spite of him .. I am way ok with all of this.
So my laugh is he short paid me alimony this last week which the last week is the last week he is required to pay me anything regarding alimony however it doesn't let him off the hook for paying me what he owes me which is currently clocking at close to 20k in back support among other stupid things he's chosen to do.
This next week will tell me everything I need to know and this is how bad his choices are .. there has been no modification made to our case. So he's paying cash and doing what he does best which is pay me what he believes I deserve not what he owes. Trust me I'm grateful he's paying do understand he'd be behind bars if he wasn't, I have no patience for that kind of behavior, so my situation is I do hold him accountable for not paying he would die if he other people thought of him in a poor light. If he short pays me again which I am hoping his disability checks start deducting so I don't have to deal time will tell on that one. He's in for the shock of his life when he goes back to work and they pull out the full amount. I'm not saying a word.
There is no point, it's like spitting into the wind. I will let the courts deal with his crap. There are multiple positives of all of this, one of them being the courts may see fit to force the issue of him paying me a bulk amount. I already have a contempt charge in my pocket. So I will be looking at adding that as well. I need some face time with my attorney which sucks and is expensive I am so tired of all of this at the moment. It means another 7k added to that amount and I will just let it ride. As it stands in the moment he will pay another 4 years and look crazy doing so, which means our youngest will be 18 by the time it's completely paid for .. the other issue is that he will also have another 3k in interest to deal with, so I'm looking pretty hard core at some numbers and if that's how he wants to roll it will be after my son is an adult.
He's working makes a very good salary so no I do not feel sorry for him for his pickle in the least. It is what it is and it is of his own making. All I have to do is roll with the punches.
The part that sucks is every single year he does this at Christmas time or around the kids birthdays. This is his way of punishing me for having the audacity to hold him accountable financially for the kids. I am soooo grateful I have most of what he's required to pay and laugh about what he has made a decision to withhold.
Anyway, thanks for being here, just another way he continues to try and beat the system. It always surprises me that he would want to show me how he is going to take care of "his" kids and I can't say anything, instead of confirming what I know to be true.
S :)
PosiesandPuppies said
Dec 5, 2017
Serenity,
It does help to just laugh at some of the things the qualifier does, huh? IMHO, a parent who truly thinks of the best for their kid(s) - not of themselves - will do whatever it takes to help out... even if they can't get sober. The fact that your Ex just cannot do that speaks to his CHARACTER as a person... forget the substance abuse! LOL!
Peace to you and your kids!
PNP
SerenityRUS said
Dec 5, 2017
Hugs PNP,
I can't decide if I should be in admiration of his inability to see reality or if he truly is that brilliant that he believes if he waits it out that it will go away. I wish I could deny reality away at times it would make life so much easier at times.
I think one thing that is ironic, is the issue that I did some footwork .. called the courts made sure what their process is with paperwork and that I have everything I need. I am missing a signed paperwork my attorney should have sent to me regarding the last filing. Anyway, I wanted to be sure that this couldn't be removed or anything and when I get the copy I will forward it over to him with a note about his responsibilities. Arguing with a signed document is difficult so I don't think we will need to go to court unless he truly is that stupid. He's really that stupid and my attorney and his pointed that out at one point. Maybe misguided is a better word for it.
It will be interesting to see what the next two weeks brings however it doesn't fix my current issues that are happening at the moment financially. So I breathe and just hope that his HP that he professes to love guides him to do that right thing. We will see. I doubt he is fully aware of what he agreed to when he had his attorney submit paperwork.
Hugs S :)
SerenityRUS said
Dec 13, 2017
Well a quick update, I sent an unsigned copy of the agreement to my X with a note that basically stated this is a courtesy, I am letting you know you are in violation of our agreement and my expectation is you will get it caught up by the next pay period. There will be outstanding penalties attached to this if you choose to ignore, your choice I would hope you would do the stand up thing and go in the right direction.
I was a little more direct than that and I was a little irritated as once again why do I need to tell him to do the right thing.
So I did get a response from him and he was shocked I hadn't received his payment. So I explained that for his sake it would be better for him to pay it to the courts because while it says property settlement that is so I don't pay taxes on it the state still sees it as arrearage for child support and he's better off paying the state directly.
I let him know I would check the mail tonight and see if it came in, going forward please pay the county.
It will be interesting to see what happens next.
I am still going to contact his work since he's not answering questions that he should be answering to me in regards to when he's going back to work so this will come out automatically.
He has also failed to send a package to our daughter that he promised before Thanksgiving. Soooo we will see how that all goes.
My X must have had surgery and of course when he was laying out his story he didn't mention when the surgery would occur. So honestly it could have been before he sent the email whining or shortly after. Remember he couldn't get surgery if his blood was all wonky. This really goes to show me nothing with this man has changed. So he made a very conscious decision not to tell me what was going on. I didn't ask and no I wasn't very compassionate about his woes. In his typical fashion he's made it all about him and I really don't see it as my problem. After everything the kids and I have endured and gotten through in spite of him .. I am way ok with all of this.
So my laugh is he short paid me alimony this last week which the last week is the last week he is required to pay me anything regarding alimony however it doesn't let him off the hook for paying me what he owes me which is currently clocking at close to 20k in back support among other stupid things he's chosen to do.
This next week will tell me everything I need to know and this is how bad his choices are .. there has been no modification made to our case. So he's paying cash and doing what he does best which is pay me what he believes I deserve not what he owes. Trust me I'm grateful he's paying do understand he'd be behind bars if he wasn't, I have no patience for that kind of behavior, so my situation is I do hold him accountable for not paying he would die if he other people thought of him in a poor light. If he short pays me again which I am hoping his disability checks start deducting so I don't have to deal time will tell on that one. He's in for the shock of his life when he goes back to work and they pull out the full amount. I'm not saying a word.
There is no point, it's like spitting into the wind. I will let the courts deal with his crap. There are multiple positives of all of this, one of them being the courts may see fit to force the issue of him paying me a bulk amount. I already have a contempt charge in my pocket. So I will be looking at adding that as well. I need some face time with my attorney which sucks and is expensive I am so tired of all of this at the moment. It means another 7k added to that amount and I will just let it ride. As it stands in the moment he will pay another 4 years and look crazy doing so, which means our youngest will be 18 by the time it's completely paid for .. the other issue is that he will also have another 3k in interest to deal with, so I'm looking pretty hard core at some numbers and if that's how he wants to roll it will be after my son is an adult.
He's working makes a very good salary so no I do not feel sorry for him for his pickle in the least. It is what it is and it is of his own making. All I have to do is roll with the punches.
The part that sucks is every single year he does this at Christmas time or around the kids birthdays. This is his way of punishing me for having the audacity to hold him accountable financially for the kids. I am soooo grateful I have most of what he's required to pay and laugh about what he has made a decision to withhold.
Anyway, thanks for being here, just another way he continues to try and beat the system. It always surprises me that he would want to show me how he is going to take care of "his" kids and I can't say anything, instead of confirming what I know to be true.
S :)
It does help to just laugh at some of the things the qualifier does, huh? IMHO, a parent who truly thinks of the best for their kid(s) - not of themselves - will do whatever it takes to help out... even if they can't get sober. The fact that your Ex just cannot do that speaks to his CHARACTER as a person... forget the substance abuse! LOL!
Peace to you and your kids!
PNP
I can't decide if I should be in admiration of his inability to see reality or if he truly is that brilliant that he believes if he waits it out that it will go away. I wish I could deny reality away at times it would make life so much easier at times.
I think one thing that is ironic, is the issue that I did some footwork .. called the courts made sure what their process is with paperwork and that I have everything I need. I am missing a signed paperwork my attorney should have sent to me regarding the last filing. Anyway, I wanted to be sure that this couldn't be removed or anything and when I get the copy I will forward it over to him with a note about his responsibilities. Arguing with a signed document is difficult so I don't think we will need to go to court unless he truly is that stupid. He's really that stupid and my attorney and his pointed that out at one point. Maybe misguided is a better word for it.
It will be interesting to see what the next two weeks brings however it doesn't fix my current issues that are happening at the moment financially. So I breathe and just hope that his HP that he professes to love guides him to do that right thing. We will see. I doubt he is fully aware of what he agreed to when he had his attorney submit paperwork.
Hugs S :)
I was a little more direct than that and I was a little irritated as once again why do I need to tell him to do the right thing.
So I did get a response from him and he was shocked I hadn't received his payment. So I explained that for his sake it would be better for him to pay it to the courts because while it says property settlement that is so I don't pay taxes on it the state still sees it as arrearage for child support and he's better off paying the state directly.
I let him know I would check the mail tonight and see if it came in, going forward please pay the county.
It will be interesting to see what happens next.
I am still going to contact his work since he's not answering questions that he should be answering to me in regards to when he's going back to work so this will come out automatically.
He has also failed to send a package to our daughter that he promised before Thanksgiving. Soooo we will see how that all goes.
S :)