Hi Charlotte, honestly this level of fear may call for a therapist or someone trained in anxiety disorders. You are going through a lot right now and having someone to talk to and help you work through unresolved issues will be helpful, I'm sure. For situational anxiety or when my mind starts spinning, i do usually call my sponsor but even she will tell me it's time for me to get back to therapy when my level of anxiety is truly interfering with my serenity and daily peace.

Prayer, yoga, and meditation are wonderful, as are working the steps. Hang in there. I, and many others here, understand where you are. Just remember, you are not alone! HUGS!

Hi Charlotte, I also would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety. I'm glad to hear you are using both a therapist and Al-Anon. That was the combination that helped me.

Just a couple of thoughts are, (1) it did take time, as the moments of anxiety became less and less, and (2) my therapist used the EMDR technique which was helpful for me.

With Al-Anon, I knew I was not alone ... working the steps with a sponsor helped, and we can also work steps on this site. With technology like this board, we really never have to be alone with those feelings. Keep coming back -- we understand!

Hugs, ((((Charlotte)))). For me, the constant fear / worry / anxiety that accompanied me pretty much all the time during the last year or two while living with an A became much better after some months in the program, as I was trying to implement the slogans, steps etc. in my life... It happened gradually, and it happened as I was working on me, trying to understand and know me, my motives, my needs, beginning to let myself be me. My constant anxiety at least in part came from things that I can't control, but in my heart I was convinced I could/should. And before that, some years ago, I had extreme social anxiety for some years, when I would experience panic and dissociation even in a gathering of close family members, or anyone. It was debilitating, and if I could live this period again I would get professional help... So I'm glad you do, and you have Alanon, too :)

I'm so sorry you are going through this... Sending you positive thoughts and prayers! Keep coming back, there is hope and help available.

Hugs, alanon can help address those issues. I also had to reach out to others on a professional level. It wasn't until I did a combination of alanom and EMDR that I even knew I had anxiety. It helped me identify something I wasn't aware of it also helped me deal with it to. I find that anxiety is about my issues with control and the unknown. I want the outcome before I make the decision. That wad my private therapy. Alanon helped me look at more of the underlying issues going on on a safe space and learning that there are no guarantees to life. Accepting the situations I couldn't change and learning where I had power and where I was powerless. Keep coming back and working your own program is not easy well at least for me lol I tend to complicate things it is a simple way of living life if I am willing to let go. Hugs s ;)

It took YEARS before i understood that I had anxiety. It's funny now but that insight was really helpful to me oncei had it. While i have had loads of therapy, it was the love of the group that made a wholesale difference for me. It did not happen overnight but each meeting is one more bit in lessening the anxiety and upping the love. I hope you keep coming back Newnoz

Hi Charlotte here is the link to the Step Board You will need to reregister to post
stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark

hi charlotte sending you a pm and hoping that's ok .. but one thing that comes to mind with prayer and meditation .. in meetings .. the sharing is like a prayer and the listening to others is like the meditation .. when we come together for one hour we also do this as a group .. a beautiful thing really .. yes there is hope ..

Hi Charlotte,

I am soooooooooooo glad someone brought this up and you did. I am not good at putting thoughts and feelings down on paper but do want to share my own ESH. I struggled with agoraphobia and extreme social phobia. It was called panic disorder back in the day I was finally and gratefully diagnosed with it. I just thought I was totally crazy and no one knew, nor did I want them to know..........but the constant torment of living that way...........no words.......I mean seriously, I was out in a rural area and IF there was a car coming down the dirt road when needing to take the trash out...........I would wait till it disappeared. I also could not go to any appointments or the store for food by myself. I would have rather taken a beating than have to go with family out to a restaurant! And...........I just had my 59th bday this past week! That is a lot of years to live that way. I medicated with alcohol off and on up to and between 87 then finally, in 1991 no more alcohol relapses for almost 18 years!


I'm sharing this to let you know that these programs work!!!!!!!! I got into and was able to get serious and work the steps in AA in 1987 via a treatment program I checked myself into at the protest of my screaming AH abusive, controlling ex. I went in drinking because if you think about it.......people were my fear. I could not imagine being in some place with people. And....not be able to run. There was so much shame, so deep down and no where to put it or know what to do with it....it was one of the best things I ever did! The docs did put me on meds for some time and I dug into AA as though my life depended on it and it did. Many relapses via the fears until 91. I even started some AA groups, one of which is still going.........that's how serious the programs and work are to me.
The meds did not take away all the fear.............much work on the steps, meetings, baby steps in all things and having good friends and even back in a church that was so loving too and a strong relationship with God set me free of that strong of fears/anxiety over time.

Here I am newly back in Al-anon. I used to go to Alanon too, due to my abusive 23 year EX relationship. It's a transition many alcoholics make from what my sponsor had told me, and it worked well.......all, my thoughts were messed up and I didn't deserve anything or even him? I could not see how abusive this man was nor my part in it. I worked as a counselor for a womens shelter! I saw all this during my intakes........the questions I had to ask these women were me.......

I was free of the fears many, many years. I later drove trucks, had my own biz, just enjoying life and all. Has it been easy? No, life has a lot of pain, loss, etc. I lost both little brothers within 10 mos of each other to drugs and suicide in 97/98. But, I was solid in my life, my HP, my support and all. IN fact there have been 7 losses of family in my life in the past 10 years. And today, that is ok. Some of the deaths were related to being abused as a child. For me, those were the times to seek out more support and I did. From my ESH, I know when I need help with certain areas and deaths can trigger things that are hard......painful/traumatic......yet in it all...... freedom was just down the road. This has been my own experience dealing with some of the losses and what areas of intense issues may be tied into these people, especially those from childhood.......

What is not ok: I haven't been in any 12 step support since moving away from my home several years ago. This "dis-ease" snuck back into my life after a huge move from rural all my life to much too close to a city and all here still seems odd to me.......but it is where my husband of almost 10 years lives.....and I couldn't keep driving my truck due to health issues. That stopped my way of escape to go back down to my home and work (I love to work hard) with my support and friends. My not being in any support groups and due to all the A's in my life has let back in all the old fears. I didn't even recognize this was happening.

This past month I looked up and was realized I was unable to go to the store again and leave my home on my good days (health) It's been many years since the anxiety and fears have been this way........I kept cancelling appointments with doc and dentist last month. I was off the wall crazy and scared to the point I felt i was going to lose my mind early last week! I have struggled to go places since living here, I am not a city driver and the overload of info of cars, people etc to battle driving into a city became too much this past couple weeks or so. Even going to the little rural store for feed.....After an intense period of feeling I was totally going to lose my mind and doing all I could to hide from one of the A's in my life.........God sent me back into Alanon here. I am sooooooooooooooooooooo grateful!!!!

I know through my HP, I choose to call God, this is where I found freedom from the insanity and crippling fears before. I can feel the fear easing up and also know it will be a short time this time around before I am getting out to the stores and such again. Perhaps, this week. Good grief my shelves and fridge are pretty empty! I am on my 4th and about ready for my 5th step. I am bouncing around a bit due to writing all down in my 4th again and seeing my place in all of this and yet........I can't wait for that freedom from all the junk to happen again!! The fellowship, knowing others are struggling with the same issues with their A's and finding a new way of life and one with peace in it is ALL worth it.

This program works. For me, getting all this on paper, seeing my own participation in the As, being as honest as I possibly can and looking forward to helping others again in time is oh so worth it. It's great to meet you! I'm glad you are here too!

I personally think any mental illnesses,such as anxiety,depression,PTSD,etc are best left to the professionals.

However,Alanon can be a good coping tool,along with many other tools such as medication,meditation,etc.but not as a substitute for professional help.

And I say this as a PTSD sufferer myself.