Did/Does anyone have issues with the A posting on social media? this was One of my biggest problems and I donât see anyone addressing this.. my boyfriend would be drinking and go on Facebook and post the most ridiculous statuses or pictures and it was obvious that he had been drinking . was very embarrassing and also could not trust him with some of the girls that would comment on his stuff :( did anyone else have issues with the alcoholic and social media?
I know I couldnât control what a grown man posts but it just used to cause me even more anxiety.
Skorpi said
Nov 15, 2017
I can't say that this was an issue for me, but politics have encouraged me to "unfollow" certain members of my family in the "spacebook myface" world. I felt that their posts were interfering with my ability to have a relationship with them outside of social media, and so to preserve my sanity and in order to have the hopes of family gatherings without drama, that "unfollow" button was a real gift.
Iamhere said
Nov 15, 2017
I'm with skorpi - I unfriend or unfollow those who affect my serenity/peace of mind. I also use our program tools to realize that the behavior and choices of others are not a reflection on me at all. I am powerless over people, places and things and don't want to return to the insanity of being affected by their choices/actions/outcomes.
There was a certain level of freedom in unfriending my boys when they were active in this disease. It followed when I blocked them on my phone. I had to take some more extreme actions at times to protect my sanity/serenity....and I am willing to go to any lengths today to hold on tight to recovery!
I will readily admit I am not a fan of any of the social media platforms. I believe they are big a big waste of time/energy. There are many other things I'd rather do with spare time - that's just me! (((Hugs)))
hotrod said
Nov 15, 2017
I agree unfriending people works well especaily if I am attempting to recover from a devastating relationship.
serenity47 said
Nov 15, 2017
Yes I was obsessed with checking up on my daughter when she was actively drinking/using and was horrified some of the things I seen on there. Again it was like a form of self torture. With a bit of recovery under my own belt I have been able to refrain mostly from "checking" and I have unfriended people whom it just isn't in my best interests to see their posts. Everything that I need to know will be revealed to me when it is supposed to be. I don't have to go looking for any evidence to support my crazy thinking.
Jerry F said
Nov 15, 2017
I am putting the "unfriend" button in my program pocket along side the steps to carry me where ever I go and/or am at...I am powerless...unfriend...That works!! ((((hugs))))
tiredtonite said
Nov 16, 2017
Social media itself has been "unfriended" at our house. The situation was a little different. My SO is in AA and found the posts of family members, pictures etc. unsettling. I've never been a fan of social media. If you can't spare the time actually call me or get together, I really don't need to be updated by your made up page. I doubt the credibility of what people post. LOL nobody's life is that magically perfect I certainly experienced it when I was a part of online dating and then got to know people in person. It was a useful tool to connect in person for me but that was the extent of it.
Social media has been a useful tool for me in the workplace. I think it's great for business, great to get the word out.
My SO closed out his page while in early recovery because pictures and posts from family particularly his kids often left him worried, projecting and at times feeling left out when reading of events that had taken place. There simply was too much drama taking place online. He made the choice to close it out seven years ago and has not missed it.
We've been having discussions recently about having more balance in our life with one another. The plan is to spend less time on computers, explore more activities, visit f2f with more people. We've been discussing the amount of time we spend online and why. Is what we're viewing adding to our recovery or detracting from it? This is an interesting topic and a very timely one for me. Thank you for posting about alcoholism and social media use. ((hugs)) TT
a4l said
Nov 16, 2017
I hate soc media and if it can be avoided, avoid it. Its a political platform, with lots of personal politics on open display. I wish I didn't need to use it. Sending hugs.
DavidG said
Nov 17, 2017
Good topic,
I do facebook a lot- and yes I am posting here Aerin... ...
Facebook is great for strengthening networks in family and community. I have reunited with a lot of old friends. Without the net they would have just drifted away. Just this week and old friend graduated as a councellor. It was awesome I first met her 45 years ago as a lost kid of 11 in the city. She got just so many likes and congrats for this.
It like the car driver- it is the nut behind the wheel that steers the car. Online stuff at least keeps me at home...
a4l said
Nov 17, 2017
Good point David. Aerin, it's not easy. I don't know how I'd handle it. Fortunately haven't had to beyond blocking, unfriending and putting it out of mind when stuff happens that's out of my control.
The1975jen said
Nov 17, 2017
Private messages with girls seemed to come with the territory and was very challenging for me. TBH it still is even though he is in recovery. I am always feeling "what if..." however, the thing that helps me most is al-anon. I learn tools to apply to this concern as well. Even though my fears are genuine...and I am not sure they can be overcome completely, they can be dealt with so that it is not crippling *me* on the daily :)
good luck!
~jen~
SerenityRUS said
Nov 17, 2017
My ex used to post the most unbelievable things on social media. Thankfully he blocked me lol however until my daughter turned 18 I made the decision for her not to friend her dad . Mostly because until the last couple years .. he had pornographic things in his page. 1/2 dressed women and so on. His dad had a similar issue. Thankfully .. his dad's page it seems to have dissipated now that he's headed towards 70. He's going to do what he's going to do .. not my issue .. not my embarrassment .. completely on him. Should he continue to show my girl who he is 100% on him. In regards to minor kids that I have an obligation to make sure I protected them from their dad's lack of judgement. Hugs s :)
There was a certain level of freedom in unfriending my boys when they were active in this disease. It followed when I blocked them on my phone. I had to take some more extreme actions at times to protect my sanity/serenity....and I am willing to go to any lengths today to hold on tight to recovery!
I will readily admit I am not a fan of any of the social media platforms. I believe they are big a big waste of time/energy. There are many other things I'd rather do with spare time - that's just me! (((Hugs)))
I agree unfriending people works well especaily if I am attempting to recover from a devastating relationship.
I am putting the "unfriend" button in my program pocket along side the steps to carry me where ever I go and/or am at...I am powerless...unfriend...That works!! ((((hugs))))
Social media itself has been "unfriended" at our house. The situation was a little different. My SO is in AA and found the posts of family members, pictures etc. unsettling. I've never been a fan of social media. If you can't spare the time actually call me or get together, I really don't need to be updated by your made up page. I doubt the credibility of what people post. LOL nobody's life is that magically perfect
I certainly experienced it when I was a part of online dating and then got to know people in person. It was a useful tool to connect in person for me but that was the extent of it.
Social media has been a useful tool for me in the workplace. I think it's great for business, great to get the word out.
My SO closed out his page while in early recovery because pictures and posts from family particularly his kids often left him worried, projecting and at times feeling left out when reading of events that had taken place. There simply was too much drama taking place online. He made the choice to close it out seven years ago and has not missed it.
We've been having discussions recently about having more balance in our life with one another. The plan is to spend less time on computers, explore more activities, visit f2f with more people. We've been discussing the amount of time we spend online and why. Is what we're viewing adding to our recovery or detracting from it? This is an interesting topic and a very timely one for me. Thank you for posting about alcoholism and social media use. ((hugs)) TT
Good topic,
I do facebook a lot- and yes I am posting here Aerin...
...
Facebook is great for strengthening networks in family and community. I have reunited with a lot of old friends. Without the net they would have just drifted away. Just this week and old friend graduated as a councellor. It was awesome I first met her 45 years ago as a lost kid of 11 in the city. She got just so many likes and congrats for this.
It like the car driver- it is the nut behind the wheel that steers the car. Online stuff at least keeps me at home...
good luck!
~jen~