i havent been here in almost 2 years. I was living in blissful denial that my AH was doing well. Heck I even celebrated his 2year mark with telling him how proud I was of him...Deep down I knew he was drinking, I had hoped he would honor his promise of being honest with me if he drank. Our deal was as long as he was honest about it we could work through it, if he lied and I found out we would be done.Well he lied and I busted him completely by accident (or divine intervention). I dont trust him and we havent really talked for days, I found out over the weekend. I think what is stopping me from leaving is the fact that his daughter just told him she hates their crappy relationship and doesnt want to stay the night anymore. I get it now, he has been crappy to both of us since he started drinking 6 months ago. The signs were all there but I believed him when he said he wasnt drinking. He even convinced me it wasnt beer I smelled on him. I owe it to me to get out but why do I feel guilty about that? I absolutely dont trust him and I cant live like this. Headed back to my old meeting tomorrow and will take care of me for sure.
hotrod said
Nov 1, 2017
Hello Paisley Welcome back Meetings, and a sponsor really helped me to clarify my thoughts and to act with self esteem and self respect. Glad that you have decided to return to face to face meetings.
Iamhere said
Nov 1, 2017
I too welcome you back Paisley....it is the program and the meeting + sponsor/fellowship that have carried me through the difficult times in my journey. I hope you keep coming back here too - you are not alone!
Maresie said
Nov 11, 2017
Alcoholics tend to gather people around them who inspire loyalty. That is who they look for.
Relapse is incredibly common in recovery. Some people do come back.from a relapse.
The main thing is not to beat yourself up. Take time to process what your options are. In al anon.thete is a concept called plan b. That is at.all you will need if.you.are to move. Looking.at.those options which you.dont have to.act on right away is a way to take a lot of pressure off.
Maresie
lookingup said
Nov 11, 2017
Welcome back paisley,
I'm useing an learning new tools everyday,has greatly helped me along with a sponser.
So glad your here .....hugs lu
i havent been here in almost 2 years. I was living in blissful denial that my AH was doing well. Heck I even celebrated his 2year mark with telling him how proud I was of him...Deep down I knew he was drinking, I had hoped he would honor his promise of being honest with me if he drank. Our deal was as long as he was honest about it we could work through it, if he lied and I found out we would be done.Well he lied and I busted him completely by accident (or divine intervention). I dont trust him and we havent really talked for days, I found out over the weekend. I think what is stopping me from leaving is the fact that his daughter just told him she hates their crappy relationship and doesnt want to stay the night anymore. I get it now, he has been crappy to both of us since he started drinking 6 months ago. The signs were all there but I believed him when he said he wasnt drinking. He even convinced me it wasnt beer I smelled on him. I owe it to me to get out but why do I feel guilty about that? I absolutely dont trust him and I cant live like this. Headed back to my old meeting tomorrow and will take care of me for sure.
Alcoholics tend to gather people around them who inspire loyalty. That is who they look for.
Relapse is incredibly common in recovery. Some people do come back.from a relapse.
The main thing is not to beat yourself up. Take time to process what your options are. In al anon.thete is a concept called plan b. That is at.all you will need if.you.are to move. Looking.at.those options which you.dont have to.act on right away is a way to take a lot of pressure off.
Maresie
I'm useing an learning new tools everyday,has greatly helped me along with a sponser.
So glad your here .....hugs lu