I am still here and trying to learn how to do this program. I am working on step 3 this week. I have been keeping a journal, posting on the boards, went to church and just busy with trying to be positive and really take one day at a time. It feels weird to be taking care of my needs. I am still worried that my ah will drink, but I cannot control if he does. I am leaving AA schedules around for him and gently encouraging him to go, but know that ultimately its up to him. I hope this is a healthy thing for me to do. I have been reading getting them sober as well. I used to think that this was another way for me to be obsessed with my ah "sobriety", but I am finding out that I need help as well. My kids are quiet and they seem to just want me to forget about all this work and move on to find a better life. They are not interested in learning about the disease or anything at this point. I just have to give that to God. Hope everyone is doing well. Have a great evening.
Kat
Aline said
Oct 10, 2017
Thanks for sharing your journey, Kat, I'm glad you're beginning to see how this program works when we work it! I know what you mean by it feeling weird taking care of myself... But it got less weird over time. Be gentle with yourself and trust the process :)
Lyne said
Oct 10, 2017
Hello Kat-I hope you are doing the steps with a sponsor or other trusted program friend. As far as I know, it is better to have a mentor helping you with them. I did the steps with a sponsor, and repeated a few of them later, and it was a helpful experience, especially having the sponsor's guidance.
I didn't learn to take care of myself until later in life, and anytime is better than never . However it does feel wierd when you are accustomed to being a caretaker and/or doormat, which was the case with myself. I've given the doormat club and put myself first when I want to or need to. Life feels much better since having 4 Yr's in Alanon, Lyne
Iamhere said
Oct 10, 2017
(((Kat))) - huge hugs to you....it was also 'different' and 'unnatural' for me when I first started. Everyone who came before me suggested to just stay present, not over-analyze anything and roll with it. That was really hard for me too as I was the queen of projection! Taking care of self does get easier with time as does practicing all of the program. Easy Does It is a slogan that many said to me early on.
Betty often suggests gratitude lists and asset lists and I did those religiously when my mind wonders. It does truly help 'see' the good as well as bring me back to present time. Keep coming back!
I am still here and trying to learn how to do this program. I am working on step 3 this week. I have been keeping a journal, posting on the boards, went to church and just busy with trying to be positive and really take one day at a time. It feels weird to be taking care of my needs. I am still worried that my ah will drink, but I cannot control if he does. I am leaving AA schedules around for him and gently encouraging him to go, but know that ultimately its up to him. I hope this is a healthy thing for me to do. I have been reading getting them sober as well. I used to think that this was another way for me to be obsessed with my ah "sobriety", but I am finding out that I need help as well. My kids are quiet and they seem to just want me to forget about all this work and move on to find a better life. They are not interested in learning about the disease or anything at this point. I just have to give that to God. Hope everyone is doing well. Have a great evening.
Kat
I didn't learn to take care of myself until later in life, and anytime is better than never . However it does feel wierd when you are accustomed to being a caretaker and/or doormat, which was the case with myself. I've given the doormat club and put myself first when I want to or need to. Life feels much better since having 4 Yr's in Alanon, Lyne
Betty often suggests gratitude lists and asset lists and I did those religiously when my mind wonders. It does truly help 'see' the good as well as bring me back to present time. Keep coming back!