Up late again what happened to me letting it lie itâs boiled up and now Iâve just blown again AH making promises to change giving me hope heâs gone cold past couple of days towards me I sensed in my gut he was going to relapse did I drive him to it he left earlier tonight and I knew he was going to go out For a few drinks letâs just say I had a gut feeling Because he has just got back in touch with his dad whoâs a drinker a few days ago so I knew this was going to happen he usually messages me at night but nothing so I ended up ringing after taking a while to answer and I know I shouldnât have but I confronted him he knew he was caught out so he switched phone off on me. He only ever does that when heâs been drinking so then I sit and worry like I used to wondering if he will end up wasted so I left it for a while and rang him he answered slurring his words he only lives round the corner and there I saw it after two months him staggering home on the phone too me my heart sank I felt right back to square one like any hope was shattered I knew then it was going to be a pointless conversation so I ended it but Iâve realised one thing tonight I have to let go because now after seperating Itâs not enough to make him stop he will carry on and do it anyway I canât be seperated and keep wondering what heâs doing listening to his promises to me weâre do I go from here I ask myself

Yes a pain like u never felt before sorry you going through it to hugs xx

((Jilley)) i Am so sorry to read that you are experiencing the true impact of this dreadful disease. We are indeed powerless over it and attempting to get someone sober by not talking to them or leaving, is a complete waste of time and energy.

I found that detachment, and acceptance were the tools that helped me to finally see that that this is a 3 fold disease that i could not handle even in my wildest dreams. Sending positive thoughts and prayers to you.