So now that we've agreed to divorce, AH and I are actually communicating better than we did as a 'married' couple. We've been having peaceful conversations about what we hope to accomplish in mediation (only talking when he hasn't been drinking). The thing I feel weird about is that he doesn't seem to feel ANYTHING about moving out and how that is going to affect the kids. I know that that's what alcoholics do, right? Numb themselves? I was pondering this for a while and then it hit me that I cant decide how he should feel. I can decide what I'm going to do to support the kids emotionally and spiritualily. Thank heaven for program tools. every day I strip away a little bit of my addiction to my AH and see myself more clearly.
Skorpi said
Oct 4, 2017
(((Beth)))
What powerful program work you are doing! And what a fantastic example of focusing on yourself and what you are going to do!
Keep coming back, keep working the program. It looks great on you!
Iamhere said
Oct 4, 2017
Love your share Beth! I see tons of awareness, acceptance and action. Keep working it - it looks great on you. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers!
PosiesandPuppies said
Oct 4, 2017
Great share, Beth! You are using the tools... reminds me to use them too!
PNP
Jerry F said
Oct 4, 2017
And it might also be a bit early to talk about divorce. What was suggested to me and what also worked was to wait 2 years for every year of marriage before getting the divorce. One of the reasons I learned was that the negative thoughts, feelings and emotions were young and strong and I needed to keep myself at arms length from them and that I also work with a plan for being fair, honest and just with my dealings. That one worked miracles. It wasn't perfectly my way and I was able to treat her honestly like I would want myself to be treated with or without an alcoholic/addict. My lawyer got a lesson which was also interesting.
Keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 4th of October 2017 10:29:43 PM
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 4th of October 2017 10:30:24 PM
So now that we've agreed to divorce, AH and I are actually communicating better than we did as a 'married' couple. We've been having peaceful conversations about what we hope to accomplish in mediation (only talking when he hasn't been drinking). The thing I feel weird about is that he doesn't seem to feel ANYTHING about moving out and how that is going to affect the kids. I know that that's what alcoholics do, right? Numb themselves? I was pondering this for a while and then it hit me that I cant decide how he should feel. I can decide what I'm going to do to support the kids emotionally and spiritualily. Thank heaven for program tools. every day I strip away a little bit of my addiction to my AH and see myself more clearly.
What powerful program work you are doing! And what a fantastic example of focusing on yourself and what you are going to do!
Keep coming back, keep working the program. It looks great on you!
PNP
And it might also be a bit early to talk about divorce. What was suggested to me and what also worked was to wait 2 years for every year of marriage before getting the divorce. One of the reasons I learned was that the negative thoughts, feelings and emotions were young and strong and I needed to keep myself at arms length from them and that I also work with a plan for being fair, honest and just with my dealings. That one worked miracles. It wasn't perfectly my way and I was able to treat her honestly like I would want myself to be treated with or without an alcoholic/addict. My lawyer got a lesson which was also interesting.
Keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 4th of October 2017 10:29:43 PM
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 4th of October 2017 10:30:24 PM