The ODAT reading for September 26 speaks about the founder of Al-Anon, Lois and how she felt about certain words and life itself. The reading points out that Lois indicated that after looking deeply at herself she could identify that "smugness" was the very worst defect of all, because it is difficult for the light to pierce the wall of self-righteousness.
The reading goes on to say that Lois saw that many of the things she thought she did unselfishly turned out to be pure rationalization to get her own way. She indicated that when she saw this, she was determined, to work the 12 steps as thoroughly as she could ,
I can readily identify with Lois and this reading.. When I first entered program I thought I was perfect and my motives pure. Working the steps , examining my motives uncovered the truth , -- it was not too long after I entered the program I discovered how wrong i was . -
I was astounded to discover that my motives were not honorable and like Lois, I determined to keep coming back and working the steps to improve the principles i loved and held others to.
The reading also points out that Lois was very disappointed that she could not bring her husband to sobriety and she could not find peace of mind. until she accepted the fact that it is not the wife's job to do so. The reading also addresses the words" humbly" and indicates that Lois felt that" humbly "meant being servile- instead after working the program and praying she discovered that it means seeing ourselves in true relation to our fellow man and that."Bargaining with God and asking him to grant my wishes is not the highest form of prayer. It is very different from praying only for God's will.
This page in the ODAT is extremely important to me because it reveals Al-Anon's founder's process and allows me to see that I am basically human and can grow and change using the tools
The quote is "it is easy to fool oneself about motives and admitting it is hard, but it is hard but very beneficial.
Have a great day
Skorpi said
Sep 26, 2017
Good morning, Betty, thank you for this post.
after benefiting from the AlAnon program, I wondered how it started. Today's reading certainly helped to answer my questions! I recognize a lot of myself in Lois' journey, particularly in the meaning of the word "humble" and in questioning my motives.
I hope you have a great day!
Iamhere said
Sep 26, 2017
Good morning Betty and Skorpi! Happy Tuesday and thank you both for your shares and ESH. Thank you Betty for your service and the daily.
I am always stuck in amazement when I read about the early beginnings of recovery for the founder(s). It just to me seems like a HP had to be leading the way for mere imperfect humans to be able to set aside their pain enough to look deeply within and accept reality as it is. I truly consider it a miracle and feel so grateful that those who came before us were willing to look for solutions and not continue existing with insanity and perpetual pain.
I too can relate to Lois in so many ways. It literally tore apart my heart and mind that I had created 2 children who were inflicted with this disease...and could not help them to recovery or cure them. I also came to 'see' my own will woven deeply into my actions over and over again as I worked the steps. It took a while for me to set aside the blame and shame I had and fully accept I was powerless over this disease and the treatment and cure was well beyond my reach.
I stand in awe of those of were willing to dig deep within to help so many they did not know who would follow. I am truly humbled to be a part of a spiritual program that allows each of us to recover as best we can in a time frame that works with our journey. I am grateful to learn that I can change and find peace and joy and better serve others when I am seeking God's will and not my own.
We have cooler weather today and some light rain - both are welcome! Happy Tuesday to one and all - my brother, nephew and nephew-in-law are coming to town this weekend for a guys sports break....3 MLB games + 1 NFL game - they'll depart on Tuesday. Preparing for company is on my agenda this week. Looking forward to the visit!! Make it a great day MIP family!
Lyne said
Sep 26, 2017
Thank you Betty for bringing this reading to us. I came from the other side of the coin-I didn't feel I was right about anything. I didn't feel I knew anything, so I shouldn't even attempt to express a thought, feeling, or opinion. It is only through Alanon that I have humbly found a voice and a self that I can love. And I keep in mind that although I am no longer afraid to share my "self," it does not mean I am always right. I have to keep a good attitude to make all of this work.
And I understand the disappointment of wanting others to change. I had it for years with my A, and currently with other family members who will not give Alanon a try. One member in particular seems more comfortable staying stuck without compassion or trying in any way. Now we have major holidays approaching and I have to use my tools constantly not to get trapped in a pity party. ODAT, Lyne
El said
Sep 26, 2017
Thank you for today's message! I have really been paying attention to my motives lately, and boy......it has been an eye opener. If I am about to say something, or if I am planning something with someone, I have been pulling back the cover to look at my motive. Yea, a lot of the time my motive is manipulative, self-serving or to "make a point." Due to being more aware, I have held back from saying certain things or making a plan, or reacting in a revengeful way.
Off to my meeting this morning! I missed last week's because we were out of town, but I am so looking forward to being with this positive, inspiring group.
Going to hit 90 today! Holy smokes.....the seasons are backwards this year. Happy Tuesday!
Ellen
Maresie25 said
Sep 26, 2017
I eventually came to love Lois and Bill deeply and profoundly.
When I first came to the program it was a different story. I had nothing but disdain, criticism and judgment for them.
I don't know that there was anything humble about that but I thought I knew it all.
Knowing something about Lois's history I can understand what an incredibly difficult life she had with Bill.
I think it is pretty unusual for anyone with that kind of tract record to be willing to look within.
For me personally the more I look within, the less of a victim I become. The more I become aware that I need boundaries, rest, self care and love
The reading also points out that Lois was very disappointed that she could not bring her husband to sobriety and she could not find peace of mind. until she accepted the fact that it is not the wife's job to do so.
The reading also addresses the words" humbly" and indicates that Lois felt that" humbly "meant being servile- instead after working the program and praying she discovered that it means seeing ourselves in true relation to our fellow man and that."Bargaining with God and asking him to grant my wishes is not the highest form of prayer. It is very different from praying only for God's will.
The quote is "it is easy to fool oneself about motives and admitting it is hard, but it is hard but very beneficial.
after benefiting from the AlAnon program, I wondered how it started. Today's reading certainly helped to answer my questions! I recognize a lot of myself in Lois' journey, particularly in the meaning of the word "humble" and in questioning my motives.
I hope you have a great day!
I am always stuck in amazement when I read about the early beginnings of recovery for the founder(s). It just to me seems like a HP had to be leading the way for mere imperfect humans to be able to set aside their pain enough to look deeply within and accept reality as it is. I truly consider it a miracle and feel so grateful that those who came before us were willing to look for solutions and not continue existing with insanity and perpetual pain.
I too can relate to Lois in so many ways. It literally tore apart my heart and mind that I had created 2 children who were inflicted with this disease...and could not help them to recovery or cure them. I also came to 'see' my own will woven deeply into my actions over and over again as I worked the steps. It took a while for me to set aside the blame and shame I had and fully accept I was powerless over this disease and the treatment and cure was well beyond my reach.
I stand in awe of those of were willing to dig deep within to help so many they did not know who would follow. I am truly humbled to be a part of a spiritual program that allows each of us to recover as best we can in a time frame that works with our journey. I am grateful to learn that I can change and find peace and joy and better serve others when I am seeking God's will and not my own.
We have cooler weather today and some light rain - both are welcome! Happy Tuesday to one and all - my brother, nephew and nephew-in-law are coming to town this weekend for a guys sports break....3 MLB games + 1 NFL game - they'll depart on Tuesday. Preparing for company is on my agenda this week. Looking forward to the visit!! Make it a great day MIP family!
And I understand the disappointment of wanting others to change. I had it for years with my A, and currently with other family members who will not give Alanon a try. One member in particular seems more comfortable staying stuck without compassion or trying in any way. Now we have major holidays approaching and I have to use my tools constantly not to get trapped in a pity party. ODAT, Lyne
Thank you for today's message! I have really been paying attention to my motives lately, and boy......it has been an eye opener. If I am about to say something, or if I am planning something with someone, I have been pulling back the cover to look at my motive. Yea, a lot of the time my motive is manipulative, self-serving or to "make a point." Due to being more aware, I have held back from saying certain things or making a plan, or reacting in a revengeful way.
Off to my meeting this morning! I missed last week's because we were out of town, but I am so looking forward to being with this positive, inspiring group.
Going to hit 90 today! Holy smokes.....the seasons are backwards this year. Happy Tuesday!
Ellen
I eventually came to love Lois and Bill deeply and profoundly.
When I first came to the program it was a different story. I had nothing but disdain, criticism and judgment for them.
I don't know that there was anything humble about that but I thought I knew it all.
Knowing something about Lois's history I can understand what an incredibly difficult life she had with Bill.
I think it is pretty unusual for anyone with that kind of tract record to be willing to look within.
For me personally the more I look within, the less of a victim I become. The more I become aware that I need boundaries, rest, self care and love
just like everyone else.
Maresie.