i am feeling a bit angry this morning. I have my daughter living with me and her father and I divorced many years ago. My ex-husband remarried a new woman and moved on with his life. My ex-husband took my children away from me, as I was an unfit mother. I now have my daughter living with me again, and she is now 23 years old and with a disability-physio-affective disorder. I have been looking after her since she was 19 years old. I am angry at the ex as he came to the city and said he would spend time with our daughter but so far, its day two and he has not shown up! I am livid, as he has his ass up his wife ass so much he has no time for his own daughter! I am just livid that he would tell he that he would see her and not show up or contact her. He moved to another province so he only comes to the city we live in 1 to 2 times a year. I see this as typical alcoholic behavior. I am angry, and disappointed that I want to rip into him and say why are you not taking your daughter and spending time with her! He went to see other family members with his new wife, and today to a funeral, rather than picking up his daughter and spending time with her. I am livid. I know how selfish alcoholism is but this to me is over the top. I see now why I had left him. I guess I am angry because, I have to look after my daughter 24 hours a day and he gets to just walk away and be with his new wife and not care at all about his sick daughter! I want to phone him so bad and rip him apart! She is looking forward to seeing her father and he stand her up! I hate his guts, and I see now why I hated him when we were married! I am grateful I have children from him, but that is about it. I have seen he is selfish, head up his ass, thinks only of himself, his wife, and can not see beyond his nose. He is sick, sick, sick and I am so done with him and ever wanting to hear his sick voice again! I hope his wife treats him as bad as he treats me, and controls him so much, he is on a leash! Like what he did with me. Payback sucks! I am so disappointed, that I would love to phone him and rip him apart, but would that change anything..No, nothing will change. I have to just focus on me and just let things unfold as it should. I have to be patient and just let go and let god do his magic. I am just hurt that he will not spend time with his own daughter and instead flaunt his wife off to his relatives instead! GRRR...Let go and let god!
Iamhere said
Sep 16, 2017
Sorry Joker that you are feeling sad/mad that your daughter has been let down. Sending you thoughts and prayers - this disease is for sure one of many things I am powerless over! (((Hugs)))
hotrod said
Sep 16, 2017
((Joker)) it is not an easy rode that you are walking. Sending positive thoughts and prayers to guide you.
mamalioness said
Sep 17, 2017
hey Joker....vent away.....yea, people suck sometimes..thats just how it is, but we don't have to get caught up in their vortex of negativity, just give him over to karma, I would not call him because that only keeps him in my head and I don't want that......i would just toss him over to karma, be a mom to my girl, work my program and what goes around does come around....Kudos to you for being a loving, protective mom to this lovely girl......IN SUPPORT
tiredtonite said
Sep 18, 2017
Joker,
I'm sorry for the hurt his absence caused to you and to your daughter. Could your higher power, a loving god be responsible for keeping him away? Your ex might not have anything positive to bring. Rejection is god's protection. Just a thought.
Thankfully, with this program we have the power to refocus, to change our mind, to channel anger into life affirming action instead of energy sapping resentment.
I hope you and your daughter are feeling a little more peaceful after yesterday and that today will be a better day for each of you. ((hugs)) TT
WestMan said
Sep 19, 2017
Hi Joker. Hugs to you and your daughter. That is so disappointing. Is part of the problem that he's in town, said he'd come visit but hasn't communicated a time? Can you send a text asking him to nail down a day and time?
"Hi soandso. Can you give us the date/time when you were thinking of visiting? I have some things to do and we don't want to miss you." obviously I don't know you so you'd have to rewrite that into your own words.
Jerry F said
Sep 19, 2017
That kind of anger was soooo toxic for me. It attacked my soul and spirit and put me in danger along with others. I think that most of all I wanted my Higher Power to take that first and foremost. I pray yours is released with out further damage to your spirit. ((((hugs))))
Maresie25 said
Sep 19, 2017
I can certainly say that I have really bought into that an alcoholic is giving something to someone else.
I know they really know how to play that one. It is "all your fault" line.
Alcoholics manage very very successfully to manipulate others. They are really really good at it.
Some of them are also good at maintaining an image that they have concern and love for their family.
Actions speak louder than words. Some people do not honor their responsibilities.
My issue is thinking that their choices have some reflection on me.
I know absolutely to a T that many many alcoholics love to be at the center of lets just say everything. They are really good at promising then not showing up sometimes deliberately and other times because of their disease.
Then they seem to get something out of being hyper aware that their actions have affected others. Being at the center of the universe is something they seem to want to create and recreate. I know for me personally I am no longer willing to have someone be at the center of my life in such a flamboyant fashion.
Detaching is very very difficult. I spent years fuming that an alcoholic did not come through.
I am so so grateful that I no longer choose to participate.
Getting to that point was and still is very very difficult for me.
i am feeling a bit angry this morning. I have my daughter living with me and her father and I divorced many years ago. My ex-husband remarried a new woman and moved on with his life. My ex-husband took my children away from me, as I was an unfit mother. I now have my daughter living with me again, and she is now 23 years old and with a disability-physio-affective disorder. I have been looking after her since she was 19 years old. I am angry at the ex as he came to the city and said he would spend time with our daughter but so far, its day two and he has not shown up! I am livid, as he has his ass up his wife ass so much he has no time for his own daughter! I am just livid that he would tell he that he would see her and not show up or contact her. He moved to another province so he only comes to the city we live in 1 to 2 times a year. I see this as typical alcoholic behavior. I am angry, and disappointed that I want to rip into him and say why are you not taking your daughter and spending time with her! He went to see other family members with his new wife, and today to a funeral, rather than picking up his daughter and spending time with her. I am livid. I know how selfish alcoholism is but this to me is over the top. I see now why I had left him. I guess I am angry because, I have to look after my daughter 24 hours a day and he gets to just walk away and be with his new wife and not care at all about his sick daughter! I want to phone him so bad and rip him apart! She is looking forward to seeing her father and he stand her up! I hate his guts, and I see now why I hated him when we were married! I am grateful I have children from him, but that is about it. I have seen he is selfish, head up his ass, thinks only of himself, his wife, and can not see beyond his nose. He is sick, sick, sick and I am so done with him and ever wanting to hear his sick voice again! I hope his wife treats him as bad as he treats me, and controls him so much, he is on a leash! Like what he did with me. Payback sucks! I am so disappointed, that I would love to phone him and rip him apart, but would that change anything..No, nothing will change. I have to just focus on me and just let things unfold as it should. I have to be patient and just let go and let god do his magic. I am just hurt that he will not spend time with his own daughter and instead flaunt his wife off to his relatives instead! GRRR...Let go and let god!
Joker,
I'm sorry for the hurt his absence caused to you and to your daughter. Could your higher power, a loving god be responsible for keeping him away? Your ex might not have anything positive to bring. Rejection is god's protection. Just a thought.
Thankfully, with this program we have the power to refocus, to change our mind, to channel anger into life affirming action instead of energy sapping resentment.
I hope you and your daughter are feeling a little more peaceful after yesterday and that today will be a better day for each of you. ((hugs)) TT
"Hi soandso. Can you give us the date/time when you were thinking of visiting? I have some things to do and we don't want to miss you." obviously I don't know you so you'd have to rewrite that into your own words.
That kind of anger was soooo toxic for me. It attacked my soul and spirit and put me in danger along with others. I think that most of all I wanted my Higher Power to take that first and foremost. I pray yours is released with out further damage to your spirit. ((((hugs))))
I can certainly say that I have really bought into that an alcoholic is giving something to someone else.
I know they really know how to play that one. It is "all your fault" line.
Alcoholics manage very very successfully to manipulate others. They are really really good at it.
Some of them are also good at maintaining an image that they have concern and love for their family.
Actions speak louder than words. Some people do not honor their responsibilities.
My issue is thinking that their choices have some reflection on me.
I know absolutely to a T that many many alcoholics love to be at the center of lets just say everything. They are really good at promising then not showing up sometimes deliberately and other times because of their disease.
Then they seem to get something out of being hyper aware that their actions have affected others. Being at the center of the universe is something they seem to want to create and recreate. I know for me personally I am no longer willing to have someone be at the center of my life in such a flamboyant fashion.
Detaching is very very difficult. I spent years fuming that an alcoholic did not come through.
I am so so grateful that I no longer choose to participate.
Getting to that point was and still is very very difficult for me.