Welcome Lenora- Not sure where you are going with this posting. As you noted the ALANON WSO--

"SUGGESTS "that these word  are not used,  as they trace back to therapy . As with all alanon principles, WSO only" suggests" and does not insist on enforcement.

In keeping with alanon principles, and the Traditions, members here  are encouraged to share their thoughts and feelings without judgment or censor. We do acknowledge that Alanon is a spiritual program and our "Thinking problem" can be helped by a spiritual solution.

Recovery is a process and many need to use everyday terminology to explain their feelings and to feel safe enough to do so.   They are accepted without correction. The 1st tradition addresses unity and the 5th tradition suggests that our primary purpose is to help families of alcoholics and we do this by practicing the 12 Steps ourselves .
Keep coming back

Aloha Lee and welcome to MIP which is not an Al-Anon approved site though I would believe that the recovery consequences which have been earned here would have WSO smiling in support.  I am very grateful to the counseling industry for all they have done to get our membership including me into the rooms using the languages and methods that they did.  I was kept in recovery by the VA alcoholism counseling styles and later on used what would work for me and my own clients as a therapist in a large multi level alcohol and drug rehab. 

It is still amazing to me how our literature and meeting language affects and initiates change in the lives of broken victims of the diseases of alcoholism and addiction.  I do let go and let God as a tap root of my recovery...WSO not so much though I know we would not be what we are with out the organization and its dedication and leadership.  

Keep coming back ((((hugs)))) 

Hi Lee,

Welcome! Glad you joined us. Maybe you'll decide to include this site as a part of your recovery journey. I appreciate what you posted. I'm always glad when members choose to post what Alanon suggests because it's useful information for anyone who has never attended in person WSO Alanon meetings and is planning to do so. It also serves as a reminder for those of us who have been attending Alanon for some time. 

Hope you'll come back to share some of your own story with us.  What got you here? How you work it? How you keep it? Thanks for sharing. ((hugs))  TT

 Hey Lee...

                ...great topic. First off, today, I alway say that the only qualifier I bring to a meeting is myself.

Tradition 4 gives each group some levity about how it operates. I picture MIP ALanon as a group- which has its own values and culture. Maybe I should not say what goes here. But members are welcomed, even encouraged to discuss this, as far as i can see.

For some years I went to a meeting 50 mins away from here. I wasn't at the meeting that night but someone bought up the topic of codependency but one older member actually ordered them from the meeting!

The group folded not long after that.

My view is that the topic of C. was discussed in Alanon before the word was invented, but in other ways. "We got tired and irritable without knowing it."

If someone is out of line with the group conscience there is a process to follow. The issues is supposed to be discussed with the member, and amongst the group members if necessary. Some groups will simply go to a straw vote on the topic.

In reality, in my world at least, a single person, or a minority of members do have a right to participate and comment. Well, we know it all- in all of our families our voices have been muted or silenced... we do deserve to be heard, and listened to.

You can decided for yourself if people strike a good balance here. I believe so... ...

 Another point Lee. I attended a treatment centre here in NZ as a family member about 1992- as a family member.

As a part of the treatment programme the 12 steps were used and taught. I did not say anything at the time. However later I saw people really struggling with the steps. I felt perhaps that the use of the steps was a breach of Tradition 8.

At the treatment centre people had access to AA, NA and Alanon meetings.... In hindsight I felt that that was where the steps should have been taught.

I recall at an Alanon meeting being offered the akronym NUTS... Not Using The Steps. Now, as you will guess, NUTS is just not an approved slogan in Alanon.

At the time I felt that is was a part of the black and white thinking that often comes up in the middle steps on the way through.

What follows was something of a horror story for me. 

I was told that I was not allowed to have 'Hope For Today' for readings at meetings.

I was told that 'Hope For Today' was a Hazeldine publication and not conference approved.

I did not want to cause a scene there and then. In my younger days I might have backed off, or attacked the issue head on!

Anyway I asked for a conscience meeting to discuss the reading of "Hope For Today'. I was not insisting on it every week- i just wanted to feel free to read it from time to time.

The NUTS person turned to me and told me straight- if you call a conscience meeting all the women in the group will vote against you!

I am sure you will see- this is not good Alanon. ....

The group no longer meets at all. No members.