Hello MIP family! I read the board every single day, but have not felt the energy to participate. It has been an extremely stressful time, but we have all been there, I know.
Since December, we have gone from one medical issue to the next, with my 90 year old mother most recently in the hospital. She is fine, but she is not easy on a good day, so you can only imagine in a real situation it is greatly magnified. I am the only sibling here, so it falls to me.
AH is still recovering from hip replacement but quickly went back to drinking as soon as his pain meds were cut off. I notice that his drinking has escalated quite a bit and he has been going to bed pretty early and pretty drunk. I come home from stressful situations with my mom and walk into a stressful situation at home.
I believe I am better at pulling out my alanon tools and dealing better than I ever have in the past. I lean on HP, I use slogans, have the entire serenity prayer memorized, and recall wise words and support from these boards. I am going to have to increase my meetings and get a sponsor though because I am feeling burned out and need more direct support.
I try to find some time for me each day and I practice gratitude a lot! I have started some interests and I am setting more boundaries. I know I am better at self-care than I was before alanon.
However, I am tired. Tired of alcoholism, tired of selfish behaviors that I have to make boundaries for, tired of caring more for people than they care for themselves. Tired of being responsible. When I get like this then I know I need to back off...I am too enmeshed and need to put me first even more.
Anyway, just venting.....but I am also aware that the program does work, but it is a slow process of practic, practice, practice.
Ellen
hotrod said
Jul 30, 2017
((Ellen)) When I was walking though days such as you are experiencing. like you, gratitude lists helped tremendously as well as living one day at a time and trusting HP . Sending Positive thoughts and prayers.
DavidG said
Jul 30, 2017
El... we all know that gratitude does not come on the back of a cereal packet.
It is hard won, and gruelling sometimes!!!
Hearing ESH, in the rooms, is always a source of gratitude for me... thanks... ...
a4l said
Jul 31, 2017
Sending you heaps of love as you go through this. ((((El)))))
SerenityRUS said
Jul 31, 2017
Big hugs and prayers,
This too shall pass.
Hugs S :)
Iamhere said
Jul 31, 2017
(((Ellen))) - I too am sending you tons of loving support, positive energy and prayers. I love your awareness and believe that you're doing a great job using the program and tools. It's also lovely to see that you are aware of your growth and want more. I am one who almost gets goose-bumps when I see the program working and in action.
We are here for you - hang in there....one day at a time!
KT2015 said
Aug 1, 2017
Ellen sending you great big hugs! I'm sorry you're going through this. Glad to hear you are putting the focus on yourself.
Hello MIP family! I read the board every single day, but have not felt the energy to participate. It has been an extremely stressful time, but we have all been there, I know.
Since December, we have gone from one medical issue to the next, with my 90 year old mother most recently in the hospital. She is fine, but she is not easy on a good day, so you can only imagine in a real situation it is greatly magnified. I am the only sibling here, so it falls to me.
AH is still recovering from hip replacement but quickly went back to drinking as soon as his pain meds were cut off. I notice that his drinking has escalated quite a bit and he has been going to bed pretty early and pretty drunk. I come home from stressful situations with my mom and walk into a stressful situation at home.
I believe I am better at pulling out my alanon tools and dealing better than I ever have in the past. I lean on HP, I use slogans, have the entire serenity prayer memorized, and recall wise words and support from these boards. I am going to have to increase my meetings and get a sponsor though because I am feeling burned out and need more direct support.
I try to find some time for me each day and I practice gratitude a lot! I have started some interests and I am setting more boundaries. I know I am better at self-care than I was before alanon.
However, I am tired. Tired of alcoholism, tired of selfish behaviors that I have to make boundaries for, tired of caring more for people than they care for themselves. Tired of being responsible. When I get like this then I know I need to back off...I am too enmeshed and need to put me first even more.
Anyway, just venting.....but I am also aware that the program does work, but it is a slow process of practic, practice, practice.
Ellen
((Ellen)) When I was walking though days such as you are experiencing. like you, gratitude lists helped tremendously as well as living one day at a time and trusting HP .
Sending Positive thoughts and prayers.
It is hard won, and gruelling sometimes!!!
Hearing ESH, in the rooms, is always a source of gratitude for me... thanks...
...
This too shall pass.
Hugs S :)
We are here for you - hang in there....one day at a time!