Struggling with Depression and Anxiety in Recovery
Charlotte22 said
Jul 30, 2017
Hi Everyone, I do NOT want to isolate and I need to call or go to a meeting but my father who is my qualifier died 6 months ago and he was very rageful and hurtful to me. We did not really have a proper goodbye and I THOUGHT that I had forgiven him and healed but it opened up flood gates for me. I am in my 50s now and all of y depression and anxiety from the early childhood ACOA days are flooding back. I am feeling ashamed that I cannot just snap out of it! I am in therapy, go to meeting, pray, write gratitude list and even tried medication but it did not help. I am asking HP to help me! It has lasted over 9 months and i am concerned. My self esteem feels very low. The therapist said that I am in a Dark Night of the Soul. Haas anyone ever heard of this? If anyone has found help in the program for anxiety and depression kindly let me know. I am very grateful. Thank you!! xx Sarah
mamalioness said
Jul 30, 2017
Oh DEAR Sarah, I so feel for you and the anxiety crap!!! "dark night of the soul" sounds kinda religious connotations , what I think is that you are going through grief, (normal) AND that you didn't have a gr8 relationship with dad and yea, forgiving and reconciling within oneself is a different think....yea, he was hurtful to you and I bet you never really worked all that inner child pain out....the 12 steps and teh worksheets you can get on the steps , to me, helped me better than therapy...Unless the therapist went THROUGH my pain, how can they learn in a book what I suffered in real life??? I had better luck in the meetings and working with a sponsor who could relate to me and also working teh 12 steps workbooks....yea, I got to know ME...and then layer by layer , I dug down into the family of origin pain or inner child word and i rooted out all the crap that happened to me and i was finally able to grieve it, understand it, I can't forgive my offenders, but I CAN and DID forgive ME for being a powerless child, unable to help herself....I gave the compassion and forgiveness to ME...this was about ME and MY feelings and MY pain and My being here in recovery....
I can relate, also to the "not proper goodbye" but ya know??? life comes at us in its own terms, not always tidy, lots of times messy, but this program will help you reconcile with YOU, the important one here, the impact this all had on you....please keep coming back and working the meetings and steps and get a good sponsor and your anxiety will decrease....I've been on medication for 40 years and NEVER have had to increase my dosage in fact, I think I use less, thanks to recovery andworking out all this garbage of my past....your father was not healthy, to treat you like that..that is HIS issue...yea, he qualified you to get here, but now its your job to work on your recovery and what you are feeling is absolutely normal given the circumstances....be gentle with you...EASY DOES IT on you....keep coming back...this program does work....we CAN reclaim our lives and be happy, healthy and free of all that past ....forgiveness is , to me, a by product of recovery..some folks can forgive and some cannot...but the BIG thing is to , for me, was to forgive ME for being powerless and unable to cope any better than I could....
HUGS of support
-- Edited by mamalioness on Sunday 30th of July 2017 03:43:57 PM
Iamhere said
Jul 30, 2017
(((Sarah))) - I've got no experience with what you are experiencing but wanted to send you some prayers and thoughts. I have some friends who've gone through it and were able to get to the other side. Know that you are not alone!
Aline said
Jul 30, 2017
Hugs, ((((Charlotte)))). I feel for you, depression is truly a terrible thing. I believe I had depression for about 7 years (not anymore for 4-5 years). I say "I believe" because it was not diagnosed since I didn't seek professional help. I know that if I ever had it again, I would seek help, and I'm happy you have. As for anxiety, I had tons of it, constantly, before coming to Alanon and in the first few months in the program. When I truly got rid of the constant, never ending anxiety it was only when I started to really not think, obsess about my ex-abf. Only then. I don't know if any of this helps... But you are not alone. Sending you best wishes and cyberhugs.
Lyne said
Jul 31, 2017
Sarah, hi. I have had anxiety and depression since childhood and I am in my 60's. I cannot get rid of somethings I have had for 60 years in a year or even two. These deep emotions and scars are embedded in the psyche. What I have found the most helpful, is sticking with Alanon and using every tool possible for the last 4 years, and that included working the steps with my sponsor. Is everyday flowers and butterflies? Heck no. But I have the best quality of life I have ever had, and plan to continue in Alanon. We have a slogan that says, progress not perfection. With patience, hard work, and getting off my own case, I am moving forward. You can too, Lyne
Hi Everyone, I do NOT want to isolate and I need to call or go to a meeting but my father who is my qualifier died 6 months ago and he was very rageful and hurtful to me. We did not really have a proper goodbye and I THOUGHT that I had forgiven him and healed but it opened up flood gates for me. I am in my 50s now and all of y depression and anxiety from the early childhood ACOA days are flooding back. I am feeling ashamed that I cannot just snap out of it! I am in therapy, go to meeting, pray, write gratitude list and even tried medication but it did not help. I am asking HP to help me! It has lasted over 9 months and i am concerned. My self esteem feels very low. The therapist said that I am in a Dark Night of the Soul. Haas anyone ever heard of this? If anyone has found help in the program for anxiety and depression kindly let me know. I am very grateful. Thank you!! xx Sarah
Oh DEAR Sarah, I so feel for you and the anxiety crap!!! "dark night of the soul" sounds kinda religious connotations , what I think is that you are going through grief, (normal) AND that you didn't have a gr8 relationship with dad and yea, forgiving and reconciling within oneself is a different think....yea, he was hurtful to you and I bet you never really worked all that inner child pain out....the 12 steps and teh worksheets you can get on the steps , to me, helped me better than therapy...Unless the therapist went THROUGH my pain, how can they learn in a book what I suffered in real life??? I had better luck in the meetings and working with a sponsor who could relate to me and also working teh 12 steps workbooks....yea, I got to know ME...and then layer by layer , I dug down into the family of origin pain or inner child word and i rooted out all the crap that happened to me and i was finally able to grieve it, understand it, I can't forgive my offenders, but I CAN and DID forgive ME for being a powerless child, unable to help herself....I gave the compassion and forgiveness to ME...this was about ME and MY feelings and MY pain and My being here in recovery....
I can relate, also to the "not proper goodbye" but ya know??? life comes at us in its own terms, not always tidy, lots of times messy, but this program will help you reconcile with YOU, the important one here, the impact this all had on you....please keep coming back and working the meetings and steps and get a good sponsor and your anxiety will decrease....I've been on medication for 40 years and NEVER have had to increase my dosage in fact, I think I use less, thanks to recovery andworking out all this garbage of my past....your father was not healthy, to treat you like that..that is HIS issue...yea, he qualified you to get here, but now its your job to work on your recovery and what you are feeling is absolutely normal given the circumstances....be gentle with you...EASY DOES IT on you....keep coming back...this program does work....we CAN reclaim our lives and be happy, healthy and free of all that past ....forgiveness is , to me, a by product of recovery..some folks can forgive and some cannot...but the BIG thing is to , for me, was to forgive ME for being powerless and unable to cope any better than I could....
HUGS of support
-- Edited by mamalioness on Sunday 30th of July 2017 03:43:57 PM