Today I am grateful for my sanity as I know it, work in progress that it is.
I'm waist deep with the foo, and its great but there are definite aspects of certifiably insane, literally. Having said that, every generation brings a bit of hope.
Makes me wonder how much of mental illness is a fear defense.
Keep on keeping on all!
Jerry F said
Jul 25, 2017
(((A4l))) ...you're sounding clear headed. YAY!! How much of mental illness is a fear defense...You're looking with a new pair of lens with that statement. Much of mine was attached to that vision. Still surviving it. In support ((((hugs))))
Iamhere said
Jul 25, 2017
(((a4l))) - great share and great topic....I love that Jerry mentions a new pair of lens. As I work on my recovery, I find each experience with my FOO leaves me with a different perception of who, what, when, where, how and why. It's not that history is changing - it's that clearing my own mind for healing and dealing has given me a healthier way of accepting what was, what is and where we are all at.
In my recovery, it is the moments with FOO that really help me find gratitude and see progress. Daily life comes/goes and while I am grateful and do my routine to stay serene, it's the expanded life I love/cherish/worry about that shows me who I really am.
Your post reminded me of that song by CSN - "Love the One Your With".....that One for me today is ME!!! (((Hugs)))
mamalioness said
Jul 25, 2017
Wow!!! small post packing a big punch----I wonder how much of MY mental illness has been a fear defense....LOTS I bet...I did a legal name change back in 2004...I met this lady in recovery, she was a recovery mate for a long time (she has since drank herself to death) but anyway, I wanted a clean name, so she offered me her name...it was short, "clean" i thought and easy to spell, so I figured "sure, why not??" So I changed my name...as I got to know my "new family" I found out they were WORSE then the siblings I got, almost...They didn't know the truth if it bit them...dysfunction junction, but ya know??? I am ME...my name does not define ME....yea, its nice not having my offender's name, but I am a work in progress, insanity is all over my bio FOO, but I have some good ones as well.....I know I am fear based...I never ever felt safe...dunno what that feels like...I have the FOO that I do..Some (few) I can let real close...most I have to keep in an outer circle, there, but far enough away to keep the insanity out of my space.....I am becoming sane...progressing...2 steps foreward, 1 back...but still progress......
hotrod said
Jul 25, 2017
Hi A41 in working my 4th and 5th Step I discovered that I changed my fear into anger because I could not own being fearful(not tools to move through it ) and being angry made me feel powerful.
I am grateful for alanon, as I was given new tools to live by, including the ability to feel all my feelings, express them in an appropriate manner and rebuild me self esteem. Believing in a Power Greater than Myself, and praying for courage enebled me to feel my fears and still show up with courtesy and respect. My FOO still behaves in many a destructive manner, however I now know how to take care of myself, and do not try to change them How great is that !!!
a4l said
Jul 25, 2017
Oh I have SO much acceptance and loving detachment work to do. Thank you guys xx
(((A4l))) ...you're sounding clear headed. YAY!! How much of mental illness is a fear defense...You're looking with a new pair of lens with that statement. Much of mine was attached to that vision. Still surviving it. In support ((((hugs))))
In my recovery, it is the moments with FOO that really help me find gratitude and see progress. Daily life comes/goes and while I am grateful and do my routine to stay serene, it's the expanded life I love/cherish/worry about that shows me who I really am.
Your post reminded me of that song by CSN - "Love the One Your With".....that One for me today is ME!!! (((Hugs)))
Wow!!! small post packing a big punch----I wonder how much of MY mental illness has been a fear defense....LOTS I bet...I did a legal name change back in 2004...I met this lady in recovery, she was a recovery mate for a long time (she has since drank herself to death) but anyway, I wanted a clean name, so she offered me her name...it was short, "clean" i thought and easy to spell, so I figured "sure, why not??" So I changed my name...as I got to know my "new family" I found out they were WORSE then the siblings I got, almost...They didn't know the truth if it bit them...dysfunction junction, but ya know??? I am ME...my name does not define ME....yea, its nice not having my offender's name, but I am a work in progress, insanity is all over my bio FOO, but I have some good ones as well.....I know I am fear based...I never ever felt safe...dunno what that feels like...I have the FOO that I do..Some (few) I can let real close...most I have to keep in an outer circle, there, but far enough away to keep the insanity out of my space.....I am becoming sane...progressing...2 steps foreward, 1 back...but still progress......
Hi A41 in working my 4th and 5th Step I discovered that I changed my fear into anger because I could not own being fearful(not tools to move through it ) and being angry made me feel powerful.
How great is that !!!
I am grateful for alanon, as I was given new tools to live by, including the ability to feel all my feelings, express them in an appropriate manner and rebuild me self esteem. Believing in a Power Greater than Myself, and praying for courage enebled me to feel my fears and still show up with courtesy and respect. My FOO still behaves in many a destructive manner, however I now know how to take care of myself, and do not try to change them