Today's C2C speaks about allowing people to work their program in their own way and time. It suggests that each of us work al-anon in the way that is right for us and some people may take longer to find their way than others, and that is just fine. It suggests that even if we feel frustrated when someone is repetetive or seems "stuck", we ought remember that we have enjoyed the non-judgemental and forgiving space that al-anon affords us, and others deserve that too.
The reading cautions against using terms like "get off your pity pot" or accusing people of self pity, instead suggesting we can be grateful for the patience others have shown to us, and listen to others with patience and lack of judgement in turn.
"Great spirit, help me to never judge another until I have walked in his moccasins" (Sioux Indian prayer).
***
I myself have benefited so much from the non-judgemental and patient program that is al-anon. Knowing that I was free to learn things on my own time, to try things and fail as many times as I wanted, and to view each and every thing that I experienced as as positive, whether it was a learning experience or a "great success" was absolutely transformative. I owe so much to those that listened with patience and a lack of judgement because I am one, without a doubt, who has taken a very long time to let go of ineffective tools and negative coping mechanisms. In the past, if I had attempted something so monumental (and it does seem like a HUGE mountain to climb when viewed from it's foot), and found myself flailing or failing, I would have felt humiliated and ashamed and if anyone had spoken harshly or rushed me, I would likely have just thrown up my hands and quit, never to return. Now, I have learned to be patient with myself and to worry less about what others might think, and I can tackle new tasks with far less embarrassment or fear of failure. Those are gifts of the program which I am very grateful for, but I surely did not have them to begin with, and couldn't have developed them just by someone telling me that I "should" have them. These tools take time to plant, and to grow I am very blessed to have found a program and a fellowship with the patience and kindness to help me grow them.
Have a lovely weekend all
Aline said
Jul 15, 2017
Thank you for your service, Miss M. This reading comes at a very appropriate time for me :) I know the welcome I got here and in my meetings, the kindness, the smiles, were very important for me to want to keep coming back. If someone told me to quit pitying myself or similar at that early stage, I'm not sure about my reaction and whether I would have come back, I was just so unhappy already.
MissM said
Jul 15, 2017
Thanks Aline. I agree. I think, being given the space to work things out in my own time really made me able to make it my own...and I think that's why it "stuck"- unlike other "self help" things I have tried and abandoned over the years. There's something very special about the formula of al-anon, that's for sure
Skorpi said
Jul 15, 2017
Good morning, and thanks for your service Miss M!
Today's reading speaks to me and the circumstances i found myself in yesterday with my wife. What a great reminder to let people progress in the program at their own speed. My start in the program was pretty bumpy, and i benefited from people giving me support, patience, and time to work things out. I don't think the program would have been effective for me if i had been rushed.βΊ
I hope everyone has a wonderful day!
hotrod said
Jul 15, 2017
Good Morning all Thanks Ms.M. for sharing your thoughts on this very important alanon principle.
I know when I sensed that this was a fellowship of equals with no one empowered to be the ruler and with basic principles of acceptance, compassion, respect and spirituality, I began to feel safe enough to "keep an open mind, and to " keep coming back".Even the closing statement that says: "You may not like all of us but you will come to love us in a special way the same way we already love you" was so non judgmental and impressive. I wanted whated what they had.
Who would have known that like minded people sharing their simple tools and their Experience, Strength and Hope would be able to have such a profound effect on my inner motivation.
Thank you alanon and all who came before me in this powerful fellowship.
Have a great day Ms.M
Today's C2C speaks about allowing people to work their program in their own way and time. It suggests that each of us work al-anon in the way that is right for us and some people may take longer to find their way than others, and that is just fine. It suggests that even if we feel frustrated when someone is repetetive or seems "stuck", we ought remember that we have enjoyed the non-judgemental and forgiving space that al-anon affords us, and others deserve that too.
The reading cautions against using terms like "get off your pity pot" or accusing people of self pity, instead suggesting we can be grateful for the patience others have shown to us, and listen to others with patience and lack of judgement in turn.
"Great spirit, help me to never judge another until I have walked in his moccasins" (Sioux Indian prayer).
***
I myself have benefited so much from the non-judgemental and patient program that is al-anon. Knowing that I was free to learn things on my own time, to try things and fail as many times as I wanted, and to view each and every thing that I experienced as as positive, whether it was a learning experience or a "great success" was absolutely transformative. I owe so much to those that listened with patience and a lack of judgement because I am one, without a doubt, who has taken a very long time to let go of ineffective tools and negative coping mechanisms. In the past, if I had attempted something so monumental (and it does seem like a HUGE mountain to climb when viewed from it's foot), and found myself flailing or failing, I would have felt humiliated and ashamed and if anyone had spoken harshly or rushed me, I would likely have just thrown up my hands and quit, never to return. Now, I have learned to be patient with myself and to worry less about what others might think, and I can tackle new tasks with far less embarrassment or fear of failure. Those are gifts of the program which I am very grateful for, but I surely did not have them to begin with, and couldn't have developed them just by someone telling me that I "should" have them. These tools take time to plant, and to grow
I am very blessed to have found a program and a fellowship with the patience and kindness to help me grow them.
Have a lovely weekend all
I know when I sensed that this was a fellowship of equals with no one empowered to be the ruler and with basic principles of acceptance, compassion, respect and spirituality, I began to feel safe enough to "keep an open mind, and to " keep coming back".Even the closing statement that says: "You may not like all of us but you will come to love us in a special way the same way we already love you" was so non judgmental and impressive. I wanted whated what they had.
Who would have known that like minded people sharing their simple tools and their Experience, Strength and Hope would be able to have such a profound effect on my inner motivation.
Thank you alanon and all who came before me in this powerful fellowship.
Have a great day Ms.M