Today I went to see my A ex-bf. He is doing really good. He has not had anything to drink in six months, he found a nice house to rent. He lives in a quiet community near his family. He even has cats, and he is taking care of them. The small things are really important because previously he could barely take care of himself. He has not been in AA but he is grateful for being alive and has a new attitude. I came home and cried because I always thought he would die before me, and never know the peace that recovery can bring.
We did not recover together. I wanted to write about it because I have seen and heard about people trying to work their programs together, and that does not always happen. Sometimes you have to work it alone. Alcoholism and drug addiction will cause heartaches, tragedies, and break-ups. I started my recovery 14 years ago, and I have had to watch what my ex-bf has been going through. Our relationship as a couple did not make it, but we tried to remain friends. That was not always easy at all, and there have been months of silence between us. I have been through his suicide attempts, detoxes, jail times, and rehab attempts. The only way for me to save my sanity and not have to live with constant anxiety attacks was to get away from him. He had to fail to get better, and boy did he fail. He was in a coma for 10 days, and spent two months in a nursing home before he took his sobriety seriously.
Today, I am so thankful for our recoveries. I have had such an opportunity to see the man that I use to love healthy and happy. His skin tone is better, he is smart again, and his body is strong, all these things that we all take for granted. We could not do that together, we each had to go through our recovery alone. We are not getting back together but it is so nice to put the negative things behind us like resentment, jealousy, and spite. Everyday there are still going to be life struggles for me and my ex-bf but we are free from alcoholism and drug addiction. This did not come easy, we had to fight really hard to get where we are today. Maybe that is why I am so grateful.
I do not go to church and I do not read the bible. I have gone to school and learned about evolution and really do not believe in creation. However, I do believe that there is something more powerful than us, I cannot explain it or write about it, but I feel it.
-- Edited by shrnp on Tuesday 4th of July 2017 05:48:43 PM
WestMan said
Jul 4, 2017
Thank you for the great share (((shrnp))). As I begin working on myself in this program your experience is something for me to keep in mind.
_bunny_ said
Jul 4, 2017
((Sharon)) I feel it too.
hotrod said
Jul 4, 2017
(((sharon)) this is indeed a powerful baffling disease. I am pleased that you have both found recovery. Positive thoughts and prayers continue.
Freetime said
Jul 4, 2017
Sharon, thank you for your wonderful share, which offers such hope. It is encouraging to read how you have worked to come through the difficult times to a better life today.
I. too, believe in something more powerful than me that I cannot name or explain. It just is.
mamalioness said
Jul 4, 2017
shrnp wrote:
I do not go to church and I do not read the bible. I have gone to school and learned about evolution and really do not believe in creation. However, I do believe that there is something more powerful than us, I cannot explain it or write about it, but I feel it.
-- Edited by shrnp on Tuesday 4th of July 2017 05:48:43 PM
I don't either...I'm agnostic in that I aint gonna say "yes" and not gonna say "no" about any loving, involved in my life god, but I do think somethign beautiful created this lovely earth, flora, fauna, the seas, et al and i think apart of that universal love and wisdom is within me....I get what you are saying...maybe you feel it because you are finally getting in touch wiht the real, beautiful, whole, YOU and your higherself lies right next to your spirit self which is the uninjured part............just musing here..but thats how I feel.....
Iamhere said
Jul 4, 2017
What a great share - so happy to see it working in you! What I have always loved about recovery is we each get to find and define a power greater than us - and we are free to find it however we can. Positive thoughts and prayers for all - it does work when we work it!!
shrnp said
Jul 4, 2017
Thanks for your replies and thoughts everyone. It has taking me awhile to talk about a lot of things. Today I was feeling extra grateful.
DavidG said
Jul 5, 2017
shrnp wrote:
I do not go to church and I do not read the bible. I have gone to school and learned about evolution and really do not believe in creation. However, I do believe that there is something more powerful than us, I cannot explain it or write about it, but I feel it.
Good on you! I think our own beliefs are much more important than other people's. I go to church regularly. I don't actually believe in evolution... but I have my own personal opinions about creation too. Our higher power does give us the power of choice...
My SO had her own form of hell- and this ended 4 or 5 years ago. I was the one who stepped in and gave her the message, as she lay in her hospital bed. The years I spent in Alanon bore fruit. She responded and is in to recovery, as we speak... such a relief. And to see the anger slowly dissolve away, day by day... awesome!!! I enjoyed reading your share- thanks... ...
KT2015 said
Jul 5, 2017
Thank you for your great share. It really helps me to read it.
Today I went to see my A ex-bf. He is doing really good. He has not had anything to drink in six months, he found a nice house to rent. He lives in a quiet community near his family. He even has cats, and he is taking care of them. The small things are really important because previously he could barely take care of himself. He has not been in AA but he is grateful for being alive and has a new attitude. I came home and cried because I always thought he would die before me, and never know the peace that recovery can bring.
We did not recover together. I wanted to write about it because I have seen and heard about people trying to work their programs together, and that does not always happen. Sometimes you have to work it alone. Alcoholism and drug addiction will cause heartaches, tragedies, and break-ups. I started my recovery 14 years ago, and I have had to watch what my ex-bf has been going through. Our relationship as a couple did not make it, but we tried to remain friends. That was not always easy at all, and there have been months of silence between us. I have been through his suicide attempts, detoxes, jail times, and rehab attempts. The only way for me to save my sanity and not have to live with constant anxiety attacks was to get away from him. He had to fail to get better, and boy did he fail. He was in a coma for 10 days, and spent two months in a nursing home before he took his sobriety seriously.
Today, I am so thankful for our recoveries. I have had such an opportunity to see the man that I use to love healthy and happy. His skin tone is better, he is smart again, and his body is strong, all these things that we all take for granted. We could not do that together, we each had to go through our recovery alone. We are not getting back together but it is so nice to put the negative things behind us like resentment, jealousy, and spite. Everyday there are still going to be life struggles for me and my ex-bf but we are free from alcoholism and drug addiction. This did not come easy, we had to fight really hard to get where we are today. Maybe that is why I am so grateful.
I do not go to church and I do not read the bible. I have gone to school and learned about evolution and really do not believe in creation. However, I do believe that there is something more powerful than us, I cannot explain it or write about it, but I feel it.
-- Edited by shrnp on Tuesday 4th of July 2017 05:48:43 PM
I. too, believe in something more powerful than me that I cannot name or explain. It just is.
I don't either...I'm agnostic in that I aint gonna say "yes" and not gonna say "no" about any loving, involved in my life god, but I do think somethign beautiful created this lovely earth, flora, fauna, the seas, et al and i think apart of that universal love and wisdom is within me....I get what you are saying...maybe you feel it because you are finally getting in touch wiht the real, beautiful, whole, YOU and your higherself lies right next to your spirit self which is the uninjured part............just musing here..but thats how I feel.....
Good on you! I think our own beliefs are much more important than other people's. I go to church regularly. I don't actually believe in evolution... but I have my own personal opinions about creation too. Our higher power does give us the power of choice...
My SO had her own form of hell- and this ended 4 or 5 years ago. I was the one who stepped in and gave her the message, as she lay in her hospital bed. The years I spent in Alanon bore fruit. She responded and is in to recovery, as we speak... such a relief. And to see the anger slowly dissolve away, day by day... awesome!!! I enjoyed reading your share- thanks...
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