Hi all! It's been months since I've been here. Durning that time I continued to work on my own recovery, I began to focus less on AH and more on me. Letting my faith grow. For whatever reason, I learnt I am ment to be where I am, HP has a plan for me. When I first came here that was very hard to understand.
In the past few months AH drinking increased. I would not engage, well depending on his mood. I could tell if we could have a touch of a human conversation....he talks, I listen to his stories. I started to do more things myself. Going places. Fixing things etc. I was getting by.
This past week, everything finally came to a blow up.
It was a family weekend, lots of stuff going on around town. He was off doing what he needed to do. I enjoyed visiting. He came home one night completely bombed out of his mind, we all ignored the fact he was home and let him go pass out.
We discovered in the am, that he had done something awful. I won't get into details, expect a law was broke.
When he woke in the morning, I looked at him and quietly said "We are going to talk later", before I got my chance another family member got to him first. I've seen my AH cry before, we all have, but this was different. Sobbing, a full body cry. He finally admitted his wrongs, years of wrongs. He came so close to loosing much more than his family (if I ever got to the its time to walk away).
Every single person in the house that day from the oldest (me, ha ha) to the youngest, his own little daughter, talked to him to about how they were have been feeling and how this day is his chance to get real.
K so enough about him....
How my recovery helped me.........on a day like this I normally would have lost my bloody mind, come on glued on him. I didn't, so many times I paused. Thought before I said anything. Expect with my oldest, who at the moment doesn't understand the disease part of this ( I was like her too, so I just let her be)
Somewhere in the moment I realized I wasn't loosing my $$$$, I made it through.
Now I wait. The ball is completely in his court. I'll see how serious he really is. If he doesn't, I know it will only get worse, as it had been getting that way already.
Prayers are most welcomed right now. For me, to remain calm and clear. And yes for him too, walk through this open door, to get on his own recovery path.
hotrod said
Jul 4, 2017
Welcome back Curlyblu, Program works - prayers and positive thoughts on the way.
Iamhere said
Jul 4, 2017
Hey there Curlyblu - good to see you! You sound really grounded - love the recovery 'in action'. I am also sending tons of prayers for you all as well as positive thoughts. Keep coming back!
Enigmatic said
Jul 4, 2017
Hi Curly, always great to hear how the program is helping you address the difficulties of the disease. Thoughts and prayers to you
WestMan said
Jul 4, 2017
Thanks for sharing Curlyblu. Some of the things you mention are currently struggles for me. In particular the "faith in HP". Good to know you are staying grounded and calm in this situation. Setting a good example for your kids.
shrnp said
Jul 4, 2017
I am glad that the program is working for you, it does work if your work it. Thanks for sharing your story, it is not always easy.
mamalioness said
Jul 4, 2017
Hi!!! I agree...you sound really grounded...focused on your care and what you need to do for you and the young ones.......this program is a great "life's crap storms 101" to guide us through the ups and downs of life.....you sound strong...focused.....love to read stories where one is eminating this great program....before alanon, I had no clue as to how to live and live like a human being...now I do...I hang onto it and won't ever go back to the old, sicko way of living......and I agree with shrnp "it is not always easy" but it can be simple if we just work the steps and the slogans and share with our supportive fellow travelors............glad you are here
Hi all! It's been months since I've been here. Durning that time I continued to work on my own recovery, I began to focus less on AH and more on me. Letting my faith grow. For whatever reason, I learnt I am ment to be where I am, HP has a plan for me. When I first came here that was very hard to understand.
In the past few months AH drinking increased. I would not engage, well depending on his mood. I could tell if we could have a touch of a human conversation....he talks, I listen to his stories. I started to do more things myself. Going places. Fixing things etc. I was getting by.
This past week, everything finally came to a blow up.
It was a family weekend, lots of stuff going on around town. He was off doing what he needed to do. I enjoyed visiting. He came home one night completely bombed out of his mind, we all ignored the fact he was home and let him go pass out.
We discovered in the am, that he had done something awful. I won't get into details, expect a law was broke.
When he woke in the morning, I looked at him and quietly said "We are going to talk later", before I got my chance another family member got to him first. I've seen my AH cry before, we all have, but this was different. Sobbing, a full body cry. He finally admitted his wrongs, years of wrongs. He came so close to loosing much more than his family (if I ever got to the its time to walk away).
Every single person in the house that day from the oldest (me, ha ha) to the youngest, his own little daughter, talked to him to about how they were have been feeling and how this day is his chance to get real.
K so enough about him....
How my recovery helped me.........on a day like this I normally would have lost my bloody mind, come on glued on him. I didn't, so many times I paused. Thought before I said anything. Expect with my oldest, who at the moment doesn't understand the disease part of this ( I was like her too, so I just let her be)
Somewhere in the moment I realized I wasn't loosing my $$$$, I made it through.
Now I wait. The ball is completely in his court. I'll see how serious he really is. If he doesn't, I know it will only get worse, as it had been getting that way already.
Prayers are most welcomed right now. For me, to remain calm and clear. And yes for him too, walk through this open door, to get on his own recovery path.
Thanks for sharing Curlyblu. Some of the things you mention are currently struggles for me. In particular the "faith in HP". Good to know you are staying grounded and calm in this situation. Setting a good example for your kids.