hospital will transfer my sister to a skilled care facility because our girls cannot cope with one so sick...her lungs are full of fluid so they are draining them as she cannot breathe....she will not get liver biopsy because she is well aware of the stress to her already frail and failing body....and she is refusing the morphine as it builds up in the body and can put one to sleep, so there is some fight and feistyness in her, but I see her drifting more and more towards the end...
Its a day to day proposition, my only prayer at this stage would be "thy will be done" and I don't want her to suffer....
I know this is not alanon per se, but I am sad, heart feels like lead ball is in it..
I am so grateful that I let love win over ego and that I shared a deepest love with her this past 2 years....the last thing she sent me was this: I cling onto it...she couldn't talk but had to PM on the facebook.....
(((Mamalioness))) It must be so hard to watch your sister fade and not be able to help. I'm sending healing thoughts to you and your sister and pray her journey will be peaceful and painless.
mamalioness said
Jun 29, 2017
thank you Stan1: this hurts like the worst toothache---in the heart --thank you for your kind words xo
shrnp said
Jun 29, 2017
I am very sorry mama, losing a loved one can be so hard especially when they are sick. Sending you thoughts and prayers.
hotrod said
Jun 29, 2017
(((Rose)) Prayers and positive thoughts on the way. I am so sorry that you are enduring this painful experience. You are not alone.
mamalioness said
Jun 29, 2017
shrnp wrote:
I am very sorry mama, losing a loved one can be so hard especially when they are sick. Sending you thoughts and prayers.
Thank you shrnp...i feel so helpless stuck here in TX and she is in CA and I just can't afford to leave work and try to find board for my dogs...not with insurance coming 12th of July....She and I talked about it and she didn't want me to go into debt trying to see her ...I loved her where and when it mattered...that is more important...alcoholic brother is dealing by being on another bender...he is MIA...in his truck getting trashed, and druggie brother is nowhere to be found as he is on the streets, using heroine I heard....I left them texts and VM's., thats all I know what to do....but oh, the drugs and alcohol are more important then sending love to sister.....i am so so grateful that I let love win over our dark history together and we enjoyed a great relationship...it gives me comfort to think of that.............thank you for the kind thoughts and prayers
mamalioness said
Jun 29, 2017
hotrod wrote:
(((Rose)) Prayers and positive thoughts on the way. I am so sorry that you are enduring this painful experience. You are not alone.
Betty, I feel like I got this horrid toothache in my heart....i know I have to go to bed, work tomorrow and I am up, reading posts and trying to detach and having limited sucess with it.....i'm gonna get on my movie files and find a light hearted movie, and lie down in bed and watch it and TRY to go to sleep.....I thought she was coming home, not being freighted off to a nursing facility...but the kids can't cope with this, it is the right thing to do, I'm gonna text my niece and ask her if she would bring Jane her blanket so she has SOMETHING from home and loving family to cuddle with at that nursing home........thank you , Betty for your prayers and positive energy....this HURTS so bad!!!!
Iamhere said
Jun 30, 2017
(((Rose))) - I too am sending you tons of positive energy, thoughts and prayers. For your sister too! I love how you share that you let go of Ego to love again - that's worth holding onto in your heart.....
I am so sorry for the pain in your heart. It's perfectly OK to be sad and hurt - our family, even with all the insanity is what we knew first. No matter the pain, agony, insanity, more that comes from FOO, it's the foundation we grew from. Know that we would share your pain to lesson the load if we could.
Sending you (((hugs))) - be gentle with you and know you done good for your sister!!!
mamalioness said
Jun 30, 2017
((((Iamhere))))) thank you so much...she was feisty enough to remind me when I texted her this am "thought you didn't want texting" (she knows I hate it) I had to laugh....our FOO was a nightmare, I have to look at her, too, as impacted by them, hence the difficult nature of her..I am the only one who is blessed with being here....sad!! but I am doing all I can to make her smile.....I so appreciate the love and support I am getting here....praying the serenity prayer big time......and I am taking care of me...did a real good workout this am.....HUGS of gratitude
Iamhere said
Jun 30, 2017
Awesome Rose - self-care is so, so hard when we are sad and/or worried....I really struggle to remember that in times of trouble! Breathe in/out and take it easy.....I've got a headache from trying to 'do' with one functioning eye and cheater glasses - it's going to be a long week! A nap is calling my name! (((Hugs)))
Jerry F said
Jun 30, 2017
Aloha Rose often times I appreciate the hard times because they keep me connected with my Higher Power and the reality that I am not in control and can only be supportive to a degree. HP allows me to rage a HP when I am not in control and one morning at the wheel of my van, out of control, I shouted and pounded on the steering wheel and told HP that HP would not like my language and then went the hilt to HP. I used the most vile "French" I knew and even make up some new stuff and used it all until I have no more energy to continue and then when I stepped out of the van, there on the lawn in front of me was a St.Francis of Assisi dove. Know what the international logol for peace is? It's the dove and to certify that this was my HP's doing I bent down and put out my hands to the dove and it walked right into my palms. I use to raise show and racing pidgeons so I know how to handle them and this dove allowed me to handle it and stayed until I released it to a branch above my head. Let me mention that I had never seen a St. Francis of Assisi dove in my yard ever before and never since. This miracle continued on to the next day and I will relate it if asked however the real story is that HP listens with love and will always show me solutions. ((((hugs))))
mamalioness said
Jun 30, 2017
Iamhere wrote:
Awesome Rose - self-care is so, so hard when we are sad and/or worried....I really struggle to remember that in times of trouble! Breathe in/out and take it easy.....I've got a headache from trying to 'do' with one functioning eye and cheater glasses - it's going to be a long week! A nap is calling my name! (((Hugs)))
oh yea, the temptation is to stress eat and lie about and SLEEP, escape in anyway I can...i did binge eat on some candies and potatoe chips, but actually kept it at a sane level, and yes...breathe in/out and easy does it...also I'm keeping stuff simple...did a stupid mistake at work today...easy fix, but boss caught it, not me...I just owned it., said I'm sorry and i goofed and THANKED him for #1 catching it and #2 telling me...he told me "no worries..have a great week of the 4th" I didn't try to weazle out of it...I made the mistake (deposited to checking account rather than savings) and I owned it with him....he was real nice b/c I rarely make boo boos and if i do , I usually catch them....sleeping bad but could be worse.....gonna take it easy today....play sports tomorrow.........take care of that headache and eye....we need ya here in good shape, LOL...I love your shares and your genuine love for us "boardies" I am so glad I am here...........Grateful and friendship HUGSSSSSS
mamalioness said
Jun 30, 2017
Jerry F wrote:
Aloha Rose often times I appreciate the hard times because they keep me connected with my Higher Power and the reality that I am not in control and can only be supportive to a degree. HP allows me to rage a HP when I am not in control and one morning at the wheel of my van, out of control, I shouted and pounded on the steering wheel and told HP that HP would not like my language and then went the hilt to HP. I used the most vile "French" I knew and even make up some new stuff and used it all until I have no more energy to continue and then when I stepped out of the van, there on the lawn in front of me was a St.Francis of Assisi dove. Know what the international logol for peace is? It's the dove and to certify that this was my HP's doing I bent down and put out my hands to the dove and it walked right into my palms. I use to raise show and racing pidgeons so I know how to handle them and this dove allowed me to handle it and stayed until I released it to a branch above my head. Let me mention that I had never seen a St. Francis of Assisi dove in my yard ever before and never since. This miracle continued on to the next day and I will relate it if asked however the real story is that HP listens with love and will always show me solutions. ((((hugs))))
OMG>....(((((((((( Jerry ))))))))) that is one of the most beautiful stories I ever read.....If I were a dove, I would not fear you either...I would jump into your hands because you are truly a vessel of love adn that little sweet dove knew it............thank you for telling me this and oh yea...HP is hearing a LOT from me , venting, sometimes thanking, but this whole year has been a total nightmare.....OMG...can't wait for it to be over....1 thing after another, I am so overwhelmed with negative stuff happening, there HAS to be a rose in all this S**t thrown at me...............HUGS
Iamhere said
Jul 1, 2017
I must confess.....my stress food is --- FRENCH FRIES!!! ~~Yummmmmmmy~~ I hear you!!!
mamalioness said
Jul 1, 2017
Iamhere wrote:
I must confess.....my stress food is --- FRENCH FRIES!!! ~~Yummmmmmmy~~ I hear you!!!
french fried onions...Fritos chips.....butter fingers in the cup serving (soft)....reeses butter cups....M&M's plain.....girlscout thin mints....reeses icecream......fried pies (lemon)..(NOT listed in order of favorites, just what came to my mind, LOL) ...oh yea....
Iamhere said
Jul 2, 2017
ROFL.....I can so relate - we would be 'dangerous' roommates!!! LOLOL - (((Hugs)))!!
mamalioness said
Jul 2, 2017
Iamhere wrote:
ROFL.....I can so relate - we would be 'dangerous' roommates!!! LOLOL - (((Hugs)))!!
LOL...Oh yea, we would have a blast hey???? Processed Junk here we come, Sugar High deluxe!!! HAHAHA too funny!!! wonder if there is a 12 steps program for folks who just GOTTA pig out on the real fun stuff...Forget that healthy crap!! No fun!! ((((Hugs)))) Back at ya
Cathyinaz said
Jul 5, 2017
Oh Rose
You are going though so much and I'm so sorry this is happening. I do know where your coming from. I'm so glad your back and here to let go for some peace with your thoughts. ESH here is the best thing for the soul when there is nobody else to talk to. So don't leave and keep coming back because we are here.
((( HUGS )))
mamalioness said
Jul 5, 2017
Cathyinaz wrote:
Oh Rose
You are going though so much and I'm so sorry this is happening. I do know where your coming from. I'm so glad your back and here to let go for some peace with your thoughts. ESH here is the best thing for the soul when there is nobody else to talk to. So don't leave and keep coming back because we are here.
((( HUGS )))
(((((((((((((Cathy))))))))))))) hey girlfriend, so glad to see you and so sorry for whats going on in YOUR life....best thing I ever did was to come back here and bewith all you loving folks.......and no way do I want to leave...I thought I could try new horizons, but aint nothing can beat this place that I call my home......the support and ESH I receive here is amazing............HUGS to you too..............
mamalioness said
Jul 5, 2017
Well she had to get her lung drained out againn, today, but then she is returning to the care facility shes been in....IF she can get stronger, the girls can care for her at home....So literally its one day at a time
hospital will transfer my sister to a skilled care facility because our girls cannot cope with one so sick...her lungs are full of fluid so they are draining them as she cannot breathe....she will not get liver biopsy because she is well aware of the stress to her already frail and failing body....and she is refusing the morphine as it builds up in the body and can put one to sleep, so there is some fight and feistyness in her, but I see her drifting more and more towards the end...
Its a day to day proposition, my only prayer at this stage would be "thy will be done" and I don't want her to suffer....
I know this is not alanon per se, but I am sad, heart feels like lead ball is in it..
I am so grateful that I let love win over ego and that I shared a deepest love with her this past 2 years....the last thing she sent me was this: I cling onto it...she couldn't talk but had to PM on the facebook.....
I hope she saw my reply
Thank you shrnp...i feel so helpless stuck here in TX and she is in CA and I just can't afford to leave work and try to find board for my dogs...not with insurance coming 12th of July....She and I talked about it and she didn't want me to go into debt trying to see her ...I loved her where and when it mattered...that is more important...alcoholic brother is dealing by being on another bender...he is MIA...in his truck getting trashed, and druggie brother is nowhere to be found as he is on the streets, using heroine I heard....I left them texts and VM's., thats all I know what to do....but oh, the drugs and alcohol are more important then sending love to sister.....i am so so grateful that I let love win over our dark history together and we enjoyed a great relationship...it gives me comfort to think of that.............thank you for the kind thoughts and prayers
Betty, I feel like I got this horrid toothache in my heart....i know I have to go to bed, work tomorrow and I am up, reading posts and trying to detach and having limited sucess with it.....i'm gonna get on my movie files and find a light hearted movie, and lie down in bed and watch it and TRY to go to sleep.....I thought she was coming home, not being freighted off to a nursing facility...but the kids can't cope with this, it is the right thing to do, I'm gonna text my niece and ask her if she would bring Jane her blanket so she has SOMETHING from home and loving family to cuddle with at that nursing home........thank you , Betty for your prayers and positive energy....this HURTS so bad!!!!
I am so sorry for the pain in your heart. It's perfectly OK to be sad and hurt - our family, even with all the insanity is what we knew first. No matter the pain, agony, insanity, more that comes from FOO, it's the foundation we grew from. Know that we would share your pain to lesson the load if we could.
Sending you (((hugs))) - be gentle with you and know you done good for your sister!!!
Aloha Rose often times I appreciate the hard times because they keep me connected with my Higher Power and the reality that I am not in control and can only be supportive to a degree. HP allows me to rage a HP when I am not in control and one morning at the wheel of my van, out of control, I shouted and pounded on the steering wheel and told HP that HP would not like my language and then went the hilt to HP. I used the most vile "French" I knew and even make up some new stuff and used it all until I have no more energy to continue and then when I stepped out of the van, there on the lawn in front of me was a St.Francis of Assisi dove. Know what the international logol for peace is? It's the dove and to certify that this was my HP's doing I bent down and put out my hands to the dove and it walked right into my palms. I use to raise show and racing pidgeons so I know how to handle them and this dove allowed me to handle it and stayed until I released it to a branch above my head. Let me mention that I had never seen a St. Francis of Assisi dove in my yard ever before and never since. This miracle continued on to the next day and I will relate it if asked however the real story is that HP listens with love and will always show me solutions. ((((hugs))))
oh yea, the temptation is to stress eat and lie about and SLEEP, escape in anyway I can...i did binge eat on some candies and potatoe chips, but actually kept it at a sane level, and yes...breathe in/out and easy does it...also I'm keeping stuff simple...did a stupid mistake at work today...easy fix, but boss caught it, not me...I just owned it., said I'm sorry and i goofed and THANKED him for #1 catching it and #2 telling me...he told me "no worries..have a great week of the 4th" I didn't try to weazle out of it...I made the mistake (deposited to checking account rather than savings) and I owned it with him....he was real nice b/c I rarely make boo boos and if i do , I usually catch them....sleeping bad but could be worse.....gonna take it easy today....play sports tomorrow.........take care of that headache and eye....we need ya here in good shape, LOL...I love your shares and your genuine love for us "boardies" I am so glad I am here...........Grateful and friendship HUGSSSSSS
OMG>....(((((((((( Jerry ))))))))) that is one of the most beautiful stories I ever read.....If I were a dove, I would not fear you either...I would jump into your hands because you are truly a vessel of love adn that little sweet dove knew it............thank you for telling me this and oh yea...HP is hearing a LOT from me , venting, sometimes thanking, but this whole year has been a total nightmare.....OMG...can't wait for it to be over....1 thing after another, I am so overwhelmed with negative stuff happening, there HAS to be a rose in all this S**t thrown at me...............HUGS
french fried onions...Fritos chips.....butter fingers in the cup serving (soft)....reeses butter cups....M&M's plain.....girlscout thin mints....reeses icecream......fried pies (lemon)..(NOT listed in order of favorites, just what came to my mind, LOL) ...oh yea....
LOL...Oh yea, we would have a blast hey???? Processed Junk here we come, Sugar High deluxe!!! HAHAHA too funny!!! wonder if there is a 12 steps program for folks who just GOTTA pig out on the real fun stuff...Forget that healthy crap!! No fun!! ((((Hugs)))) Back at ya
You are going though so much and I'm so sorry this is happening. I do know where your coming from. I'm so glad your back and here to let go for some peace with your thoughts. ESH here is the best thing for the soul when there is nobody else to talk to. So don't leave and keep coming back because we are here.
((( HUGS )))
(((((((((((((Cathy))))))))))))) hey girlfriend, so glad to see you and so sorry for whats going on in YOUR life....best thing I ever did was to come back here and bewith all you loving folks.......and no way do I want to leave...I thought I could try new horizons, but aint nothing can beat this place that I call my home......the support and ESH I receive here is amazing............HUGS to you too..............