It seems my son has been calling himself a alcoholic. He has no understanding around that in terms of the nature of the disease. He lives with the feelings chaos trouble insanity discomfort obsession it brings but he doesn't believe he needs help. He thinks he can do it with will power alone. He stops for wee while cuts down for wee while but of course it's bigger than him too powerful. He has a father in aa a mother in alanon. He has this program in his life whether he likes it or not. I just wanted to share that sometimes I feel this is so unfair. He was brought up in an alcoholic home and it looks like his own home is replicating the whole thing all over again. So so sad. The fear gets me late at night sometimes like I'm going to get a knock at the door because he's done something really stupid or he's dead or homeless. Then I remember this beautiful program has given me relief from this because now I know I've only got one day and whatever happens will be the right thing in the long run even if I can't see how. I remember that recovery is working in his life through me and his dad even though he rejects it. I can see the disease now clearly. Where I used to see badness or defiance or evil behaviours now I see a human a being in pain and I could weep. However I'm glad this compassion has replaced the blame anger and bitterness and I can see my journey has been more about recovering for today and the future and it's about my son more than it was about my ex or the past. Thanks for reading.

(((El-Cee))) - lovely honest share. I can understand and relate to the reality, the fear, the hope and the faith. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers!

My youngest is 15 days shy of 60 days clean/sober. I am trying to stay present as he has never made it much past the 60 day mark. I'd love to believe things are different this time and have hope and then am reminded that 15 days is a long ways away and there is much to enjoy just for today.

Huge (((hugs) for you!

Hi Elcee, I'm sorry for the sadness you're feeling. Some situations and people are definitely harder for practicing Let Go and Let God. However, in your way as his mom; you still succeeding in practicing this slogan as best you can and keeping your serenity - the program in action. I've heard that the alcoholic's admission of their disease can sometimes lead to recovery. Here's hoping. Grateful you're here recovering with me and for your es&h. (((hugs)))) tt

((LC ))and ((IAH))) positive thoughts and prayers on the way I have found that being the parent to an alcoholic child is the most painful experience in the world.

((((El-Cee))) Prayers for you.

el-cee, I am sorry you were having these feelings. It is a good thing if your son is defining himself as an alcoholic if he is drinking a lot. It means he knows the difference between being responsible or abusing alcohol. Many people do not unfortunately. It is good that he is surrounded by people in both AA and Alanon. Hopefully, he will try to recover sooner with some knowledge of what the disease can do.

Hugs EC,

Sending prayers to you and your family.

Hugs S :)