I'm hearing my former sponsor's voice especially regarding "working the opposites". This lesson was about when I found myself in a place I didn't like such as anger and frustration and impatience I should practice the opposites of that so that I could earn the better and more positive emotions and spirit. Where I am right now is within the practice of patience. I have been out of order for a while and loose self control quite easily mostly over "things". I want things to just come out my way and that is not happening and sometimes humorously I get to thinking I'm being sabotaged by whatever. Of course I am not. I am being sabotaged by my lack of patience while I think I work at it often. NOT!! Impatience is a major reaction and I don't like it. I have had some success lately and not enough soooo more practice, practice, practice. I am under the VA medical care at the moment and need to be in sync with my doctor who is a real asset when I listen. Got to listen thru the filter of the Serenity Prayer.
I put lots of value in your feedback so load me up. Mahalo ((((hugs))))
LinSC said
Jun 5, 2017
Impatience to me means you don't want to wait for a solution an outcome, you're in a hurry for something your not getting in your time. Are you in a hurry? Maybe you r in the exact place in your path where u r suppose to be. To learn something maybe. Could this be? Hope you feel better Jerry, prayers for you.
Linsc
Jerry F said
Jun 6, 2017
I know and hear what you are saying Lin only my impatience is more habitual and reactionary. I don't think about it or the outcome of it. When it is running I am not aware of the consequences of it. It is a habitual reaction like scratching an itch and in the past I learned to see it that way and when it came upon me say "Its and itch" how do I want to respond to it rather than tear at it with abandon which is where I am at now. My thinking pattern has collapsed and I believe I also am being empowered by unadmitted or recognized resentments; old ones. In order to know more I've got to inventory deeper. (((hugs)))
el-cee said
Jun 6, 2017
I can relate to impatience and frustration. These are regular sabotager in my life. I had to get t more awareness and it's linked to fear. For me If i lose touch with my higher power then I'm in my will trusting me only and it's scary because I can't control outcomes so fear builds. I want things done my way quickly in my time for my fear based reasons then I'm completely in my will. Not trusting that all is exactly as it should be and that there is a source of help in my life if I ask and accept it. Remembering that we can't see the bigger picture. Everything is happening just as it should and when I let go it always works out better than I could ever have worked it x slogans Jerry and serenity prayer.x
hotrod said
Jun 6, 2017
Hi Jerry I can certainly identify .Being a NYer My frustration level climbs rapidly each time I walk out the door.It helps me to acknowledge it , then remind myself that i am only hurting myself if I buy in to the insanity. I then recite the serenity prayer continuously as I proceed about.
I remember, early in program, the time I would argue (in my head) with my employees before I reached the office . Needless to say I arrived angry, and on edge . When I saw this I decided no more and consciously recited the slogans and serenity prayer on the way and what a difference that made. My co workers apprecited that as well . :) You got this my friend
Skorpi said
Jun 6, 2017
Hi Jerry,
I can identify with impatience. I like things to flow easily, and if there is a problem or issue, I want it to be solved, now. I like to laugh about my impatience. When I feel that something is bothering me because it is taking more time than I want it to, I say to myself (a bit tongue in cheek): "HP is granting me the opportunity to practice being more patient." Then, I get up and take a walk. (Not a very involved walk, I need to get up and take a walk often, especially at work. I am working on wearing in a path to the coffee machine. 5 minutes away from whatever is really useful for me. I try to keep a clear mind or repeat a slogan while I'm away from my desk so I don't stew on whatever it is.)
I've found that when I am impatient, other people are usually involved, and we are usually engaged in a power struggle of some sort. I can see a solution that is clear as day, and for whatever reason, the other people involved don't see things my way. For me, when I am impatient, it is because I am trying to control something, and most of the time, I am trying to control an aspect of something that is not mine to control. A few weeks ago, there was a reading in Courage to Change about a person who sat under a tree full of pigeons, and was then annoyed when the pigeons did what pigeons do. It has actually been really useful for me to picture myself as someone else's pigeon, because that allows me to act in a way that is focused on me and what I need to do, and it allows me to give up control over whatever I'm trying to control that is not mine to control.
You've got this! And, what a fantastic opportunity for growth HP has provided to you.
WestMan said
Jun 6, 2017
Patience had always been one of my toughest to get any handle on. Having kids helped in some ways. They constantly test it and force me to find different strategies to deal. The KIS slogan has been helpful since long before I found Al Anon.
Iamhere said
Jun 6, 2017
Oh Jerry - if you are dealing with the VA.....from what I hear, that can be a huge opportunity to practice both patience and tolerance. I also consider lack of patience as a long-standing perpetual habit - as natural to me as waking up or brushing my teeth. I have struggled my whole life in allowing things and others to unfold or develop as they should/can. I also consider reacting impatiently as natural as waking up, scratching an itch and/or eating a meal.
I've prayed for 30 years for patience and tolerance each morning as easily as I've prayed for staying sober, serene, sane and of service. My morning and evening discussions with my HP have expanded beyond what is suggested as I know now that this part of me is way larger than me. I must have a spiritual intervention to deal with most people, places and things and it's been like that as long as I can recall.
This and a few other defects are present always under the surface, stifled only by my ability to align with my spiritual program. I am most patient when I am dealing with my grandchildren and 'feel' different - 'calm, unconditional love and acceptance, etc.' I practice visualizing what I consider reality - all these people, places and things are in my present because the creator has decided that's where they need to be. I need to WAIT (Why am I Talking) for the lesson.
I love the prayer of St. Francis - it's all about opposites. When I was young, we sang a version of this in choir. It (and many others) have spoken to me in ways I can not describe since I've first heard them. I lean into this 'song version' often as it brings me back to the realization that I am loved, I am not alone and with HP in the lead, all will be well.
I am willing today to go to any lengths to hold my sanity, serenity, sobriety and attitude of service....music has always helped quiet my mind and bring me back to present. Know that you are not alone and there is magic in seeking opposites for me too!! (((Hugs)))
2HP said
Jun 6, 2017
I once had a sponsor who would use synonyms and antonyms to help with inventory. A few antonyms for "frustration" are happiness, aid, assistance, blessing, help, support, cooperation, triumph... all words that define Higher Power for me. love it!
I can become impatient while sitting in traffic or standing in a long line. so quickly I will start believing, I have no time for this
when I catch myself, I do have a prepared "opposite" reminding myself that everything is in God's time, which is "eternal" and so I actually have all of eternity to get to where I am going. works like a charm.
But I so relate to believing every thought I think, and feeling the addictive charge behind "anger"
Looking out the window right now, I can see stray kitty has returned, lounging out on the porch. He's looking back at me with half closed eyes as if to say,
"whatever"
Kitty the teacher. I think I'll practice "whatever" today, it looks really peaceful. lol
-- Edited by 2HP on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 06:21:18 PM
Jerry F said
Jun 6, 2017
Mahalo el-cee that share is chocked full of awareness I have lost contact with. Yes of course fear...how did I forget that process I use to often teach other male violators and didn't eve recognize it themselves. I even forgot the simple 3 second behavior that was a part of the change. The source of help(s) my HP and all the other tools who are present and willing to offer their ESH for my peace of mind and serenity...just as the fellowship at MIP who came forward. Love you all. ((((hugs))))
Jerry F said
Jun 6, 2017
Maybe the only small difference is the "different Mother" we share and to with that share from you I have no doubt at all that my real mother would have readily counted you as one of her own in heart and spirit. We share similar pasts and behaviors and while I have not been in a Catholic Mass or years because my spirit ceased to feel fulfilled and I would leave services with tears in my heart and eyes I still have memories of the hymns and chants and music and much more. I am grateful for you and for you being fulfilled. Tonight will be meditation night on what you and the rest of my MIP family has brought here. (((Aloha Mai)))
Jerry F said
Jun 6, 2017
Mahalo for the picture of the kitty 2HP and how you will respond...more tools for me ((((hugs))))
Iamhere said
Jun 7, 2017
Jerry F wrote:
Maybe the only small difference is the "different Mother" we share and to with that share from you I have no doubt at all that my real mother would have readily counted you as one of her own in heart and spirit. We share similar pasts and behaviors and while I have not been in a Catholic Mass or years because my spirit ceased to feel fulfilled and I would leave services with tears in my heart and eyes I still have memories of the hymns and chants and music and much more. I am grateful for you and for you being fulfilled. Tonight will be meditation night on what you and the rest of my MIP family has brought here. (((Aloha Mai)))
I too stepped away from my faith of upbringing. I too had tears often and it was affecting my recovery and serenity. I can guess why but it doesn't matter - I'm much more concerned for my spiritual relationship that what I was raised with.
We've had quite a few funerals over the last decade which has pulled me back in at times. I have found my peace finally in the pew and can participate without fear, sadness, etc. I owe this to recovery - I can go and be present and love the music which has always been near/dear to my heart.
My hope for you today brother is that it's been an easy day with no need to concern yourself with patience. Wear life like a loose garment! (((Hugs)))
I'm hearing my former sponsor's voice especially regarding "working the opposites". This lesson was about when I found myself in a place I didn't like such as anger and frustration and impatience I should practice the opposites of that so that I could earn the better and more positive emotions and spirit. Where I am right now is within the practice of patience. I have been out of order for a while and loose self control quite easily mostly over "things". I want things to just come out my way and that is not happening and sometimes humorously I get to thinking I'm being sabotaged by whatever. Of course I am not. I am being sabotaged by my lack of patience while I think I work at it often. NOT!! Impatience is a major reaction and I don't like it. I have had some success lately and not enough soooo more practice, practice, practice. I am under the VA medical care at the moment and need to be in sync with my doctor who is a real asset when I listen. Got to listen thru the filter of the Serenity Prayer.
I put lots of value in your feedback so load me up. Mahalo ((((hugs))))
Impatience to me means you don't want to wait for a solution an outcome, you're in a hurry for something your not getting in your time. Are you in a hurry? Maybe you r in the exact place in your path where u r suppose to be. To learn something maybe. Could this be? Hope you feel better Jerry, prayers for you.
Linsc
I know and hear what you are saying Lin only my impatience is more habitual and reactionary. I don't think about it or the outcome of it. When it is running I am not aware of the consequences of it. It is a habitual reaction like scratching an itch and in the past I learned to see it that way and when it came upon me say "Its and itch" how do I want to respond to it rather than tear at it with abandon which is where I am at now. My thinking pattern has collapsed and I believe I also am being empowered by unadmitted or recognized resentments; old ones. In order to know more I've got to inventory deeper. (((hugs)))
Hi Jerry I can certainly identify .Being a NYer My frustration level climbs rapidly each time I walk out the door.It helps me to acknowledge it , then remind myself that i am only hurting myself if I buy in to the insanity. I then recite the serenity prayer continuously as I proceed about.
I remember, early in program, the time I would argue (in my head) with my employees before I reached the office . Needless to say I arrived angry, and on edge . When I saw this I decided no more and consciously recited the slogans and serenity prayer on the way and what a difference that made. My co workers apprecited that as well . :)
You got this my friend
I can identify with impatience. I like things to flow easily, and if there is a problem or issue, I want it to be solved, now. I like to laugh about my impatience. When I feel that something is bothering me because it is taking more time than I want it to, I say to myself (a bit tongue in cheek): "HP is granting me the opportunity to practice being more patient." Then, I get up and take a walk. (Not a very involved walk, I need to get up and take a walk often, especially at work. I am working on wearing in a path to the coffee machine. 5 minutes away from whatever is really useful for me. I try to keep a clear mind or repeat a slogan while I'm away from my desk so I don't stew on whatever it is.)
I've found that when I am impatient, other people are usually involved, and we are usually engaged in a power struggle of some sort. I can see a solution that is clear as day, and for whatever reason, the other people involved don't see things my way.
You've got this! And, what a fantastic opportunity for growth HP has provided to you.
I've prayed for 30 years for patience and tolerance each morning as easily as I've prayed for staying sober, serene, sane and of service. My morning and evening discussions with my HP have expanded beyond what is suggested as I know now that this part of me is way larger than me. I must have a spiritual intervention to deal with most people, places and things and it's been like that as long as I can recall.
This and a few other defects are present always under the surface, stifled only by my ability to align with my spiritual program. I am most patient when I am dealing with my grandchildren and 'feel' different - 'calm, unconditional love and acceptance, etc.' I practice visualizing what I consider reality - all these people, places and things are in my present because the creator has decided that's where they need to be. I need to WAIT (Why am I Talking) for the lesson.
I love the prayer of St. Francis - it's all about opposites. When I was young, we sang a version of this in choir. It (and many others) have spoken to me in ways I can not describe since I've first heard them. I lean into this 'song version' often as it brings me back to the realization that I am loved, I am not alone and with HP in the lead, all will be well.
Here's a version that's short with the words.....www.youtube.com/watch
I am willing today to go to any lengths to hold my sanity, serenity, sobriety and attitude of service....music has always helped quiet my mind and bring me back to present. Know that you are not alone and there is magic in seeking opposites for me too!! (((Hugs)))
I once had a sponsor who would use synonyms and antonyms to help with inventory. A few antonyms for "frustration" are happiness, aid, assistance, blessing, help, support, cooperation, triumph... all words that define Higher Power for me. love it!
I can become impatient while sitting in traffic or standing in a long line. so quickly I will start believing, I have no time for this
when I catch myself, I do have a prepared "opposite" reminding myself that everything is in God's time, which is "eternal" and so I actually have all of eternity to get to where I am going. works like a charm.
But I so relate to believing every thought I think, and feeling the addictive charge behind "anger"
Looking out the window right now, I can see stray kitty has returned, lounging out on the porch. He's looking back at me with half closed eyes as if to say,
"whatever"
Kitty the teacher. I think I'll practice "whatever" today, it looks really peaceful. lol
-- Edited by 2HP on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 06:21:18 PM
Mahalo el-cee that share is chocked full of awareness I have lost contact with. Yes of course fear...how did I forget that process I use to often teach other male violators and didn't eve recognize it themselves. I even forgot the simple 3 second behavior that was a part of the change. The source of help(s) my HP and all the other tools who are present and willing to offer their ESH for my peace of mind and serenity...just as the fellowship at MIP who came forward. Love you all. ((((hugs))))
Maybe the only small difference is the "different Mother" we share and to with that share from you I have no doubt at all that my real mother would have readily counted you as one of her own in heart and spirit. We share similar pasts and behaviors and while I have not been in a Catholic Mass or years because my spirit ceased to feel fulfilled and I would leave services with tears in my heart and eyes I still have memories of the hymns and chants and music and much more. I am grateful for you and for you being fulfilled. Tonight will be meditation night on what you and the rest of my MIP family has brought here. (((Aloha Mai)))
Mahalo for the picture of the kitty 2HP and how you will respond...more tools for me ((((hugs))))
I too stepped away from my faith of upbringing. I too had tears often and it was affecting my recovery and serenity. I can guess why but it doesn't matter - I'm much more concerned for my spiritual relationship that what I was raised with.
We've had quite a few funerals over the last decade which has pulled me back in at times. I have found my peace finally in the pew and can participate without fear, sadness, etc. I owe this to recovery - I can go and be present and love the music which has always been near/dear to my heart.
My hope for you today brother is that it's been an easy day with no need to concern yourself with patience. Wear life like a loose garment! (((Hugs)))