Hi Serenity-Actually I have done the 4th step a few times with my sponsor, whenever I hit a road block. I wish I could tell you I have it all worked out, but that isn't true. However, I have made progress, but sometimes get myself stuck in an awful situation or sometimes use poor judgement that ends up hurting me.

I think I help myself in this area by acknowledging my shortcomings, and then a realistic look at what I am repeating that hurts me. Next is a decision that although I was taught to hurt me, and was hurt by my FOO and many others, I no longer want to hurt me. I deserve respect and it is imperative I treat myself with respect. In learning to be respectful to me, I am willing to stop self-sabotaging behaviors. The more I practice, the better I become at not repeating hurtful things, and my self-confidence and self-respect increase. I hope this helps a little , Lyne

It does Lyne .. thank you ..

I know I am my own worst critic however some of the stuff I do is just silliness on my part .. I am old enough to know better .. I logically know better however why would I purposely do these things to myself? This will be life long with me .. I think what I just came to notice with my daughter is she is doing it as well and I want to help her stop it. It's something her and I have had an open dialog in and so she's aware of it at least which is more than I can say at her age .. LOL.

Just coming to this point is a big step for me, so going forward at least it's a starting point.

Thanks again S :)

Hey there,
I do this regularly myself. For me it's a sign that my life has become unmanageable. I read this book on organizing once and took the little quiz and it called me a conquistador of chaos and it described this element about me to a t. I used to tell myself I worked better under pressure however that is not true. For me I think it's a familiar feeling that used to give me energy. It's that living in chaos scrambling to get things done, getting something done just under the wire the drama the chaos the thrill. It's a sign that I am not taking care of myself or seeking energy in an unhealthy way. When I catch myself doing this I try to stop the spinning and do just one thing to help me even if it is the tiniest little thing. And then I chose one more small thing that helps me. And I try to look at it as self care like I'm giving little tiny gifts to my future self. Ok so maybe I can't complete the whole project in one step but I can at least do one small piece at a time. As soon as I start this way I find it breaks that mental block. I often get a lot more done than I expect and it changes my mind set. I'm slowly learning how to work in a different way. And I have to be a lot kinder to myself too because my expectations of myself are so darn high that that can trip me up too. Good topic.

I used to be really hard on myself. Mostly, because of the me I thought I should be. I have been learning that it is alright to be me just the way I am. I still get frustrated often. My problem is paying to much attention to what everyone else is doing. I use to think that I should be like everyone that appears to have a successful life.

Hi, Serenity, thank you for bringing this up. I see A LOT of myself in your share. At my job I also procrastinate some things, sometimes to the point where it's almost too late, and I also have managed to resolve issues at the last possible time, but at times I've been so close to messing things up its pretty stupid of me. I also realize my putting off behavior is bound to mess things up big time sooner or later. I'm still working on it. Meanwhile I've identified two of my biggest reasons for procrastinating some tasks. One is out of my control and connected directly to my workplace "business strategy", I could say - I've begun looking for a new job because of the same reason. Second is I tend to procrastinate either what is or appears to be a really time and thought consuming task, like I'm putting it off " when I will be able to really concentrate on this" (the ideal time rarely if ever comes, though...) or something that is making me uncomfortable emotionally in some way. And then I get to the task, and it is never as hard or time consuming as I expected it to be, bah... I'm currently have a pretty good "score" (for me). Just one task procrastinated, since last Monday, but I've already done about 1/3 of it. Not bad, lol :) I've noticed its a lot easier to just "get it started" when I'm not thinking about how difficult it's going to be... And it rarely is as bad as I thought. But its really tricky, like not thinking of a pink elephant when someone tells you about one. Still a lot of work needed for me on this.

Boy oh boy, you guys just totally nailed me today! I have actually been working on a strategy to meet a goal of putting more focus on my job. I want to be on time, ready and engaged. I want to stop putting off things I am afraid to tackle. I want to stop being distracted (as I am right now LOL!!) and focus on my tasks. Things have been in a big uproar and upheaval at my workplace since the sale of the company I work for and now a restructuring of the departments and it is a scary time for me. I want to present myself in the best light, but I end up shooting myself in the foot!!

I am going to work it through step 4 as well. Thanks for sharing exactly how I have been feeling both from Serenity and Aline.

My procrastination actually came about more so after I left the work place. I look back, and do not know how I worked like I did + manage 2 children, AH, 2 homes, etc. I seriously can now see how I was being propelled forward by a power greater than I as it was well beyond 'normal'. I never had fun and I never did anything for me and I rarely took vacation and I never paid a bill late, was late, missed an event, etc.

Flash forward - now I got way too much time on my hands. I put many things off and have delayed taxes, bills, home repairs, etc. It has nothing to do with money - it's like I just can't focus without all that structure I had before. Most likely, I have ADD (have been told that many, many times) - don't really know and don't really care.

What I've come to realize is I am imperfect and I deserve to make my day as I see fit. Things do get done, bills do get paid, taxes do get filed, etc. The way I was before, I was headed for a heart attack, stroke, whatever. I do know that when I die, nobody is ever going to say, she was a hard worker. She was a punctual employee. She was always dressed nicely. ETC.....what is important to me today is different - I spend time here, meditating, praying, exercising, baking, softball, golf, service work, volunteer work, grand-children - it is what it is...

I started working @ 15 and worked my arse off until I didn't. I believe I'm making up for lost time and am grateful to have the resources and means to be me, do me and deal with 'other' as it raises up.

Try to do what you need to and don't fret about the rest. I too used to beat me up - nobody else is judging how I am living my life, so why on earth am I? It's been a long, slow process but I am OK to be more Type B today than Type A. Do you, enjoy you and whatever you put off will be waiting for you - at least it always is for me!!!

(((Hugs)))

I love your share I am here thank you!