planning on going to visit foo this weekend ,my father and brother whom I'm very close to is my brother,
my sister texted me letting me know that I was welcome to come visit ,lol,I'd already made plans way back.
she is my challenge ,she isn't an addict or alcoholic ,never has been .
she has all the traits of an aalcohoilic / addict,
its going to be a very difficult sit.cant get a word in edge wise with her,she talks on n on non stop always about her Qaulifiers.
i do not want to hurt any feelings,trying to keep my serenity while I'm there for 2 days,
its just gonna be hard to respect and show courtesy to her knowing she is tormenting to herself and others with her behavior,
she also knows about alanon and Acoa has done lots of reading ,excepts it all,
fights it ,to keep on a being in her behaviors that are all unacceptable,drama and chaotic,which nobody is gonna want to hear.
anyway just had to post this ,getting it out here and off my mind,feeling more at ease with myself toward my visit .
thank you all for allowing me to vent and ramble..........hugs lu
DavidG said
May 25, 2017
Hi Lu...
There is a little used slogan in the Alanon toolbox... "Think". And, surely you have already done this and spoken [or should ah have said- written]...
one tool I always use these days too is to breathe- take a few deep breaths... it avoids panic and sometimes an impulsive word. People talk about
us and too us- unavoidable... I had to learn to talk and to share and to feel too... I always fancy that my talking has good boundaries and that I
do not put people down. But airing and ventilating stuff is a part of our normal social round... it is natural, and in the right hands it kin be down-
right healthy... ah used to say- get some air between the ears...
wishing you well, my friend, hope y'all have a good trip.... ...
-D.
Iamhere said
May 25, 2017
(((LU))) - sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.....when I am facing a 'troubled soul', I try to prepare in advance what I want/need. I keep in mind my purpose for the visit (seeing your bro and dad) and stick with your trip intent. I have no issue excusing myself to the bathroom, to take a walk with God - anything to escape negativity and drama. I just have a low tolerance for that now - I prefer to detach physically if necessary.
Know that you always have choices. Heck - pull out your literature and start reading aloud - that makes mine scatter fast! They don't want to live in the solution so when it's presented in black/white, they bail....(((Hugs)))
lookingup said
May 25, 2017
Thank you David and iah,for your inspiring words of wisdom
I like that iah ,,,pulling out my lit and start reading aloud,,,so true ,my sister dwells on neg.to find a solution she would leave,lol
I'm gonna practice not falling into her neg.finding my escape routes,lol
Going to bathroom would def.be one of my escapes ,walking away another ,changing subject as many times as I can another ,
Most of all praying,
I'm gonna enjoy my time planning on arriving the day before she does,I can get most of my visit in,say hi to her chat a bit visit with her then my stay will be over ,time to go home,I'm always ready to get home after being away for 2 days ........hugs lu
planning on going to visit foo this weekend ,my father and brother whom I'm very close to is my brother,
my sister texted me letting me know that I was welcome to come visit ,lol,I'd already made plans way back.
she is my challenge ,she isn't an addict or alcoholic ,never has been .
she has all the traits of an aalcohoilic / addict,
its going to be a very difficult sit.cant get a word in edge wise with her,she talks on n on non stop always about her Qaulifiers.
i do not want to hurt any feelings,trying to keep my serenity while I'm there for 2 days,
its just gonna be hard to respect and show courtesy to her knowing she is tormenting to herself and others with her behavior,
she also knows about alanon and Acoa has done lots of reading ,excepts it all,
fights it ,to keep on a being in her behaviors that are all unacceptable,drama and chaotic,which nobody is gonna want to hear.
anyway just had to post this ,getting it out here and off my mind,feeling more at ease with myself toward my visit .
thank you all for allowing me to vent and ramble..........hugs lu
Hi Lu...
There is a little used slogan in the Alanon toolbox... "Think". And, surely you have already done this and spoken [or should ah have said- written]...
one tool I always use these days too is to breathe- take a few deep breaths... it avoids panic and sometimes an impulsive word. People talk about
us and too us- unavoidable... I had to learn to talk and to share and to feel too... I always fancy that my talking has good boundaries and that I
do not put people down. But airing and ventilating stuff is a part of our normal social round... it is natural, and in the right hands it kin be down-
right healthy... ah used to say- get some air between the ears...
wishing you well, my friend, hope y'all have a good trip....
...
-D.
Know that you always have choices. Heck - pull out your literature and start reading aloud - that makes mine scatter fast! They don't want to live in the solution so when it's presented in black/white, they bail....(((Hugs)))
I like that iah ,,,pulling out my lit and start reading aloud,,,so true ,my sister dwells on neg.to find a solution she would leave,lol
I'm gonna practice not falling into her neg.finding my escape routes,lol
Going to bathroom would def.be one of my escapes ,walking away another ,changing subject as many times as I can another ,
Most of all praying,
I'm gonna enjoy my time planning on arriving the day before she does,I can get most of my visit in,say hi to her chat a bit visit with her then my stay will be over ,time to go home,I'm always ready to get home after being away for 2 days ........hugs lu