Today's c2c reading discusses the after-effects of growing up around (or living with) constant criticism and fear- the guilt and shame become exaggerated and can be so out of proportion that minor mistakes, even years in the past can surface and plunge us into an ashamed, guilty, state.
But we can learn to see ourselves realistically and let go of the notion that many of us harbor- that we are inherently bad, or only capable of messing things up. Then, when we no longer blow our mistakes out of proportion, they become more manageable and we can learn from them and make amends for them if necessary.
The reading reminds us that we don't have to chain ourselves to the past by blowing our old mistakes out of proportion. We can heal and move forward.
"You don't have to suffer continual chaos in order to grow" (John C Lilly)
***
Certainly an apt reading for me; struggling with an overblown sense of guilt and shame over past events is more or less my hallmark!! I am very glad to be learning tools that help me put things into perspective and see a more realistic version of myself. Not always wanting to hide from the past has freed up a lot of energy to concentrate on better things!
hotrod said
Apr 29, 2017
Great reading Ms.M. Thank you . I now tht before alanon i was so filled with regret and anger over the for the past that I could never simply live in the moment.
Alanon gave we the tools (the Steps, slogans, sponsor ) in order to look at the past objectively ,own my part,understand that no matter what I did I could never change the past but could learn from it(not repeat the past mistakes) and move on. What a gift!!!
When I finally did let go of my anger and self pity I could live in the present moment and enjoy the simple things of life: A flower, a bird, music .I did not realize what I was missing by blaming and judging eveyone from my past
Thanks for your service.
bud said
Apr 29, 2017
Good one and thank you I needed this today!
_bunny_ said
Apr 29, 2017
Thank you MissM for your service and today's reading. I still struggle with dealing with the after-effects of living with fear and criticism in an alcoholic environment. Al-Anon helps to remind me that I'm not a mistake and I'm a child of a perfect HP. When I do make mistakes, I can forgive myself as my HP forgives me and I can be grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow.
Jill said
Apr 29, 2017
This is such a gift!
DanielW said
Apr 30, 2017
A counselor once told me that my reactions to my present are naturally linked to my experiences with the past. I find that to be true for the most part. How I interpret the present is based on my past experiences with what I perceive to be similar circumstance. Alanon has helped me to see that this is not always the case and a good portion of my recovery is based on how ell I can sever those ties and live in the present, focusing on what is in front of me and choosing healthier actions and response.
My past and my HP have provided the experiences which have brought me to this point in life, I now can use those experiences and the tools of the program to make choices which enrich my life and those around me.
MissM said
Apr 30, 2017
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, folks. As always, just the right reading came along at just the right time for me, as feeling paralyzed with fear and shame over past events has been a real theme for me this last week or so! Seeing it described as the reading did and realising that other people get overwhelmed with out-of-proportion memories really gave me a reprieve. Amazing how much this program and it's resources can still surprise me and shock me out of my terminal uniqueness!
You['re so right Daniel, learning the tools to stay in the present is one of the greatest gifts of the program.
And welcome to the board, btw
Today's c2c reading discusses the after-effects of growing up around (or living with) constant criticism and fear- the guilt and shame become exaggerated and can be so out of proportion that minor mistakes, even years in the past can surface and plunge us into an ashamed, guilty, state.
But we can learn to see ourselves realistically and let go of the notion that many of us harbor- that we are inherently bad, or only capable of messing things up. Then, when we no longer blow our mistakes out of proportion, they become more manageable and we can learn from them and make amends for them if necessary.
The reading reminds us that we don't have to chain ourselves to the past by blowing our old mistakes out of proportion. We can heal and move forward.
"You don't have to suffer continual chaos in order to grow" (John C Lilly)
***
Certainly an apt reading for me; struggling with an overblown sense of guilt and shame over past events is more or less my hallmark!! I am very glad to be learning tools that help me put things into perspective and see a more realistic version of myself. Not always wanting to hide from the past has freed up a lot of energy to concentrate on better things!
Alanon gave we the tools (the Steps, slogans, sponsor ) in order to look at the past objectively ,own my part,understand that no matter what I did I could never change the past but could learn from it(not repeat the past mistakes) and move on. What a gift!!!
When I finally did let go of my anger and self pity I could live in the present moment and enjoy the simple things of life: A flower, a bird, music .I did not realize what I was missing by blaming and judging eveyone from my past
Thanks for your service.
My past and my HP have provided the experiences which have brought me to this point in life, I now can use those experiences and the tools of the program to make choices which enrich my life and those around me.
You['re so right Daniel, learning the tools to stay in the present is one of the greatest gifts of the program.
And welcome to the board, btw