My big sister died. Het body finally succoming to a lifetime of alohol abuse. She died alone with her family not knowing until days after....We knew it would end badly and I'd grieved for a sober big sis so many times. I sincerely thought, because of years of grief, the loss of her would not be so painful. It's heart-wrenching. Have four other sibs, one of which is an active alcoholic and a mother of 86yrs, who has recently detoxed from her own addiction. I'm a recovering alcoholic of 18yrs and have used Al-Anon over the years to help me cope with addiction of family members. The lack of control over the destiny of my family members, has been the most difficult aspect of sobriety. I always try to stop the train wreck, only to estrange myself from sibs and other relatives who care not/able not....I hate addiction.

Welcome to MIP Jennifer - glad you found us and glad that you shared. I too send my condolences for the loss of your sister. I also hate the disease often and hear you. Congratulations on your own sobriety - we never know the hearts we touch....while you might feel helpless and hopeless regarding your own family, I'm quite certain your program and sobriety helps others - that's just how it works!

I agree - lean into your program and keep coming back here....we're a great large family and we do understand the damage and chaos caused by the disease.

(((Hugs)))

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers your way .. Glad you are here. You are right addiction is awful.

Jennifer, I am sorry for your loss.

Hi Jennifer~OMG, one of the worst things we can imagine has happened to you. I am so very sorry. I live with the gut feeling that my spouse will die early because of her alcohol and food addiction. Now at age 64, she is more sickly and having trouble walking, but that doesn't stop her self-abuse. I have been in Alanon for almost 4 years, trying as best I can to be less sick myself. Sometimes I feel better at it than others. But I have had this gut feeling about my spouse for years, and won't be surprised at all, if I write a post like your's. And I will feel devastated too, for what should have been, and wasn't. I have stopped trying to fix her, because I can't. I can imagine how you feel. Lyne

So sorry to hear about your loss of a loved one,
I to can relate ,I lost a brother age 37 to suicide ,13 yrs ago,related to this dreadful desease also.
Congrats on your sobriety ,,,,,,,Lu

So sorry for your loss Jennifer, sending prayers and healing thoughts to you and yours. Glad you found MIP and please keep coming back.

I am sorry for your loss...

Jennifer - my heart goes out to you and your family. This horrible family disease has taken so many people and ruined so many lives. We who find the programs are the fortunate ones. I hope you can also start getting to face-to-face meetings to get both support and hugs.

Kelly

I am sorry for your loss, Jennifer. Be extra kind and patient with yourself.

Many, many thanks to you beautiful people. I'm grateful I was moved to reach out online, before getting to Al-Anon meetings.

I'm so so sorry Jennifer....

This truly is a family disease.
Prayers for you and your family - keep your favorite coping techniques close.
When my brother died of this, unexpectedly I found comfort in my mixed-up family. Go figure! Whatever it takes, right
In support during this very difficult time