Today I'd like to share on the 3 As and people pleasing,and jade.
ive come to realize that I am still a people pleaser even when sick,and then jump to jadeing ,justifieing defending and explaining as to why I can't do some things when I'm sick,as in not get out around others to spread my virus,or just really to sick to be of any good company to anyone,
live just experienced this sit.yesterday with a friend that called me up wondering why I didn't come visit,
lim now aware of it,now to except it ,taking action to practice more self care ,no I don't need to people please or jade,
no is a complete sentence,,,,,thanks for listening,I hope Ive made sense here,
been on my mind for days as I've been guilty of people pleasing ,false belief that they won't like me or be my Freind anymore,old beliefs.
jadeing,,,jumping right in to explaining myself ,justyfieng,out of fear ,fear of what,,that they might not like me,or think I'm lieing,faking being sick.
still have lots of problems with this one ,,,,I'm still recovering from old beliefs,patterns,
its a process,times can be painful as I know i have tools that work,just still want to hold onto old ways ,new ways are not easy ,really hard for me..........this is where I am at today........hugs .....LU
hotrod said
Apr 10, 2017
((LU))) You have the tools and the awareness. It is a great start. Remember that recovery is a process. One day at a time, the negative tools seem to dissolve and the positive ones surface. Keep on keeping on.
lookingup said
Apr 10, 2017
thank you Betty,
Waiting and time being my worst enemy today.
hotrod said
Apr 10, 2017
((LU)) while you are waiting you can recite the serenity payer or read the "Just for Today" bookmark. I find them both inspiring and they calm my negative vibes.
_bunny_ said
Apr 10, 2017
Hi ((lookingup)) and thank you for sharing. I too find myself reverting back to my old patterns sometimes. Isn't it great that we have Al-Anon to provide us the tools we need to become aware, accept and take action when this happens. We are powerless and can trust our HP to guide us through our day. Bummer you're sick, I hope you feel better soon, sending positive energy your way.
2HP said
Apr 10, 2017
"I'm still recovering from old beliefs,patterns,"
It is so good to know I'm not alone, I don't have automatic recovery buttons either. my recovery is a lot of back and forth, up and down, trial and error.... and it's okay, we're not gods. If you look at what you wrote and ask yourself if you knew ANY of that BEFORE you came to Al-anon, I mean....... I'm sitting here with a smile on my face, pure joy stirring inside because to me, AWARENESS is half the battle!
You being able to see what you see today is not failure, my friend, it is SUCCESS in recovery. the 3 A's are a process that take time. This experience had to happen, it played a valuable part in your recovery. The next time (....and there will be a next time) you may remember the pain of living in old beliefs and patterns... and a little more capable of saying, "Nope, don't wanna go there again, too painful...."
that's how it works for me ((hugs))
Iamhere said
Apr 10, 2017
Thanks to all for your shares - I needed affirmation today that I am not alone. Today has been a difficult day here and I'm on HALT (Tired) overtime. I played quite a bit of ball over the weekend and then did not sleep well last night - so I at least can point to a potential reason for my 'funk'. It is at times like this when I am more likely to feel pulled towards old thinking patterns and past reactions.
I am so grateful at times like this that it's OK to be where we are and to feel as we do - good, bad, indifferent, sad, mad, etc. Before recovery I felt guilt and shame each time I had negative emotions and then wanted to place blame for them outside of me. Today, I can allow the feeling to happen, process it as best i can - pray about it, talk about it, reason it out, let it go, etc. and then I can be kind to me and own my humanism.
I am so not sure what it is about 'us' that drives that desire to be super-human or perfect but in me, it's just below the surface.
LU - you are kind, caring, thoughtful and recovering - a miracle in progress in my eyes! (((Hugs))) - be gentle with you today and know that where you are is where you are supposed to be!
shrnp said
Apr 10, 2017
Thanks for the share lookingup,
I like that you said, "no is a complete sentence". I have a problem with this, and I am always saying to much and trying explain myself. I am work in progress. Every time I feel I have everything under control someone or some event leads me back to my old habits.
lookingup said
Apr 10, 2017
Thanks for all the great esh here been givin,
It is a process,that takes time and lots of patience,
Shrmp...I to fall back into old habits with events and ppl outside my program ,
It's like all my recovery flies out the window ,back to my old habits,feeling bad afterwards cause I've realized what I've done,
Have to forgive myself when this happens,moving forward,knowing it gets better,I'll get better .
I do find it very difficult dealing with non alanoners,
Hugs going out along with positive thoughts....thanks for the shares....LU
Today I'd like to share on the 3 As and people pleasing,and jade.
ive come to realize that I am still a people pleaser even when sick,and then jump to jadeing ,justifieing defending and explaining as to why I can't do some things when I'm sick,as in not get out around others to spread my virus,or just really to sick to be of any good company to anyone,
live just experienced this sit.yesterday with a friend that called me up wondering why I didn't come visit,
lim now aware of it,now to except it ,taking action to practice more self care ,no I don't need to people please or jade,
no is a complete sentence,,,,,thanks for listening,I hope Ive made sense here,
been on my mind for days as I've been guilty of people pleasing ,false belief that they won't like me or be my Freind anymore,old beliefs.
jadeing,,,jumping right in to explaining myself ,justyfieng,out of fear ,fear of what,,that they might not like me,or think I'm lieing,faking being sick.
still have lots of problems with this one ,,,,I'm still recovering from old beliefs,patterns,
its a process,times can be painful as I know i have tools that work,just still want to hold onto old ways ,new ways are not easy ,really hard for me..........this is where I am at today........hugs .....LU
((LU))) You have the tools and the awareness. It is a great start. Remember that recovery is a process. One day at a time, the negative tools seem to dissolve and the positive ones surface. Keep on keeping on.
Waiting and time being my worst enemy today.
It is so good to know I'm not alone, I don't have automatic recovery buttons either. my recovery is a lot of back and forth, up and down, trial and error.... and it's okay, we're not gods. If you look at what you wrote and ask yourself if you knew ANY of that BEFORE you came to Al-anon, I mean....... I'm sitting here with a smile on my face, pure joy stirring inside because to me, AWARENESS is half the battle!
You being able to see what you see today is not failure, my friend, it is SUCCESS in recovery. the 3 A's are a process that take time. This experience had to happen, it played a valuable part in your recovery. The next time (....and there will be a next time) you may remember the pain of living in old beliefs and patterns... and a little more capable of saying, "Nope, don't wanna go there again, too painful...."
that's how it works for me ((hugs))
I am so grateful at times like this that it's OK to be where we are and to feel as we do - good, bad, indifferent, sad, mad, etc. Before recovery I felt guilt and shame each time I had negative emotions and then wanted to place blame for them outside of me. Today, I can allow the feeling to happen, process it as best i can - pray about it, talk about it, reason it out, let it go, etc. and then I can be kind to me and own my humanism.
I am so not sure what it is about 'us' that drives that desire to be super-human or perfect but in me, it's just below the surface.
LU - you are kind, caring, thoughtful and recovering - a miracle in progress in my eyes! (((Hugs))) - be gentle with you today and know that where you are is where you are supposed to be!
I like that you said, "no is a complete sentence". I have a problem with this, and I am always saying to much and trying explain myself. I am work in progress. Every time I feel I have everything under control someone or some event leads me back to my old habits.
It is a process,that takes time and lots of patience,
Shrmp...I to fall back into old habits with events and ppl outside my program ,
It's like all my recovery flies out the window ,back to my old habits,feeling bad afterwards cause I've realized what I've done,
Have to forgive myself when this happens,moving forward,knowing it gets better,I'll get better .
I do find it very difficult dealing with non alanoners,
Hugs going out along with positive thoughts....thanks for the shares....LU