Oh ((((Cathy)))) I am so very sorry. My heart is hurting for you, and your son. May God hold you close.

I am so very sorry Cathy. May god wrap your son and you in his arms at this time.

Cathy, my heart goes out to you. I pray that in your grief you will find some measure of solace as well.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

hugs,
Kelly

Oh Cathy. My hearts with you.

I'm so sorry Cathy.x

I am so sorry Cathy...

((Dear Cathy)) This is indeed a dreadful, heartbreaking disease. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Oh Cathy I'm so sorry for your loss. Please keep your support close including the boards here. Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way. May he rest and be at peace .. May you find much healing as you continue your journey. S

So sorry Cathy. Very sad...

Cathy Thia small poem really helped me:

"God Looked around His garden,and found an empty place.
He then looked down upon the earth and saw your tired face.
He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest .
God's garden must be beautiful - As He always takes the best.
He saw the road was getting rough and
The hills hard to climb so
He closed your weary eyelids whispering
"Peace be Thine".
It broke our hearts to lose you-
but you did not go alone.
For parts of us went with you
The day God called you home

Oh my dear. After this shock, I hope your memories of him will bring you comfort. You are in my prayers.

(((Cathy))) - words can not express my sorrow for your loss. May he and you both be at peace. Sending you tons of (((hugs))), prayers and positive thoughts.

(((Cathy))) So sorry for your loss, sending healing thoughts to you and yours and may your son rest in peace.

I am so sorry, sending prayers to you. May he rest in peace.

Oh Cathy, I am so sorry for your loss. ((( hug )))

I'm new here and didn't know the story re: your son, but I did some back-reading. I'm so very sorry to hear about his lost battle with addiction. May he rest in peace, and I hope you too are able to find peace. ((((hugs))))

Thank you all so much for the kind and supportive messages.

You know what's funny is that he was sober, working and what I thought was OK. He got in a fight with his girlfriend....he pulled out his car which he couldn't do if he was drunk...went back upstairs then back down, out the door and shot himself. He took his own life. No matter what I or anyone else did would not have helped him. He told me many many times he just can't cope with his illness and the only way to stop the voices was to get drunk. I never in this world thought he would take his own life so I'm completely lost and heartbroken.

May he be at peace and the voices gone.......

(((( hugs ))))

Hugs Cathy .. Sobriety is not always simple. There are no words to express what's in my heart or head over your loss. Hugs again ..

((Hugs)) Cathy I am so very sorry- I do understand.

(((Cathy))) - I am so, so sorry....I am one who does believe that all pain and suffering ends with our earthly existence and we are set free. May you know that we all hold you in our hearts for as long as you need. Continued prayers for you and him and all others who mourn his departure.

Cathy,
I am new on the forum, and have not been familiar with your story but I wanted to say that you are not alone, I have had someone in my family commit suicide. I rarely talk about it. They had been sober after years of drinking. You are very brave and I am sorry you are going through this. It is not easy.

Cathy, I have no words. I can offer my sympathies, my prayers, and support. I don't know where you are in AZ right now, but please let me know if you need anything. Meals, a hug, etc....
I'd be happy to meet. Also, a few friends of mine in program have lost their children or spouses in various ways to this disease and I know they might have some recommendations for grief support or could possibly help you with just good old program support in other ways.

My heart is hurting for you, my friend. HUGS!

Cathy - I have almost always offered some reassuring words or maybe some humor to get through tough times, but after reading your post, I have neither - my heart breaks for you, and for all of us impacted by this disease. All I can offer is something an Al Anon friend told me a few months ago when his daughter died (heroin overdose) - I've known Jim for 15 years, and Jim works a very strong program - when I offered him my condolences, he explained that as bad as it was, it could have been a lot worse for him if he hadn't been preparing for his daughter's death several years ago - because he knew and accepted that he was powerless, and he knew that, because of his daughter's disease, that if she didn't change her path, she would likely die - he had to detach with love, his daughter didn't change her path, and she died. Jim's dealing with her death as we should deal with everything - one day at a time. I hope each day gets a bit brighter for you - remember the happy times with you son - and know that he's finally free of his disease and still loves you as he always did, even in his darkest days. So sorry for your loss, Cathy!

Another poem for you - I read this poem at my Father's funeral when he died 23 years ago - I hope it gives you some comfort:

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Source: www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/death-is-nothing-at-all-by-henry-scott-holland

Dear Cathy,
I do not post here often but do read weekly. I have followed your story as I can very much relate to it. Your sharing has helped me and I want to say thank you for that. My heart is very heavy as I read the news of your sons passing. Please know that I will also be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Hugs ((Cathy)), I'm so very sorry for your loss, I'm sending prayers your way.

So sorry. (((Cathy))))

My heart is hurting for you today Cathy. I pray peace and comfort for you and yours during this time. No words, just sending lots of love and prayers your way.

My dear Friends

I'm so blessed to have you all here when we all need it most. I'm still very much hurting but I pray the pain with lessen with time.

Remember we can't control what our love ones do with their life..just have to be prepared for the bad and/or good. We have to take care of us and Al-anon helps us with that.

I have never been very good with words but my heart aches for all of us living with this disease. You would think after the love one dies it's all over......friends it's never over. We must continue to help ourselves to live a normal life with happiness and love.

I don't know if I'm going nuts or what but I was sitting here begging for my son to let me know he is OK and he is at peace. Nisa ( his cat ) came in from outside right then and there....jumped up on my lap and butted my head. I was shocked and I cried my eyes out knowing it was something from beyond. If it wasn't.....OK...but I can take it anyway I want.

Need to go and take care of business now. It will hurt and pain me greatly but it needs to be done. My son needs a resting place.

I love you all and prayers will always be there for all of us.

I am so very sorry for your loss (((Cathy)))

with every thought of (((your son))) send him your love again and again and always.

you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

(((Cathy))) - thanks for the share about the fur-baby!!! I'm with you - I believe it to be exactly what you asked for. My prayers and thoughts continue for you and others grieving your son. Know that we are all here for you as best we can be - shout if there is anything you want or need! You are not alone!