why oh why do I end up in the same place... Insanity !?!
So my xah even now has this huge impact on my serenity. It happened last week and set off anxiety, I attended a meeting the topic was victim , very apt ! I have been doing a lot of work on expectation (mine ) and acceptance (mine), after all he's a pigeon just being a pigeon so whose behaviour do we look at here? , the pigeon or the person choosing to sit under the tree (me)
after all that thought I had a good week , calm , serenity back.. Today another incident with him (minor) and bang .. Back there again
feeling a bit frustrated ... Anxious.. Angry..
hotrod said
Mar 29, 2017
Morning Faith, Al-Anon is the first place that gave me permission to be human and so not to be perfect. This is why " progress not perfection" is what I aim for today.
You are aware of your reactions, you shared about them and that is a big step in the direction of healing. The 10th step asks that we continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong admit it. In the beginning of my alanon journey ,I changed the wording" When we are wrong" to "when I feel wrong" , I would admit it and then try to develop the wisdom from the experience. Most importantly I noticed that when I reacted I was back on the merry-go-round and I was surrendering my hard won serenity to the other person.I did not want to do that any longer, it takes a great deal of practice to not" react" but to pause and respond and I'm so grateful that I finally did achieve that goal-- you will too.
Remember the alanon slogan "THINK" and "pause" take a deep breath and then respond. One day at a time, using the tools and trusting HP. You can maintain your serenity regardless of the insanity about
Keep coming back there is hope
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Iamhere said
Mar 29, 2017
(((Faith))) - I can so relate to what you share. I can find my joy and serenity and then let it go fast based in a word/act/share from my qualifier(s)...
This event would set me back....then what happened - it began the mental spiraling into a negative thinking pattern...*sigh*
So - when I find myself affecting by another person, no matter who they are, my first line of defense has become the abbreviated serenity prayer - Bless Them, Change Me. If I am honest, there are times I am saying this threw teeth clenched. But these 4 words remind me that I am seeking progress, not perfection, I am imperfect and it's my choice when I let go and return to 'me' thinking/doing/focus.
Hang in there and know you aren't alone! I get it, and know what you're saying/sharing. So grateful this program helps me
Faith40 said
Mar 29, 2017
Thank you .. It so helps to know we are not alone with this . I don't have direct contact so thankfully I can't react even if I wanted to .. It's more what it does to me mentally, it's like the slightest thing.. Bang ..panic, anxiety and negative thinking .
Forever a work in progress . Thank you Iamhere will try that technique .
a4l said
Mar 30, 2017
I love that wording change Betty. I recognize it and think its a marvelous honesty of self and what we can cope with as we start trying to change and grow. Thanks for that.
why oh why do I end up in the same place... Insanity !?!
So my xah even now has this huge impact on my serenity. It happened last week and set off anxiety, I attended a meeting the topic was victim , very apt ! I have been doing a lot of work on expectation (mine ) and acceptance (mine), after all he's a pigeon just being a pigeon so whose behaviour do we look at here? , the pigeon or the person choosing to sit under the tree (me)
after all that thought I had a good week , calm , serenity back.. Today another incident with him (minor) and bang .. Back there again
feeling a bit frustrated ... Anxious.. Angry..
Morning Faith, Al-Anon is the first place that gave me permission to be human and so not to be perfect. This is why " progress not perfection" is what I aim for today.
You are aware of your reactions, you shared about them and that is a big step in the direction of healing. The 10th step asks that we continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong admit it. In the beginning of my alanon journey ,I changed the wording" When we are wrong" to "when I feel wrong" , I would admit it and then try to develop the wisdom from the experience. Most importantly I noticed that when I reacted I was back on the merry-go-round and I was surrendering my hard won serenity to the other person.I did not want to do that any longer, it takes a great deal of practice to not" react" but to pause and respond and I'm so grateful that I finally did achieve that goal-- you will too.
Remember the alanon slogan "THINK" and "pause" take a deep breath and then respond. One day at a time, using the tools and trusting HP. You can maintain your serenity regardless of the insanity about
Keep coming back there is hope
-
This event would set me back....then what happened - it began the mental spiraling into a negative thinking pattern...*sigh*
So - when I find myself affecting by another person, no matter who they are, my first line of defense has become the abbreviated serenity prayer - Bless Them, Change Me. If I am honest, there are times I am saying this threw teeth clenched. But these 4 words remind me that I am seeking progress, not perfection, I am imperfect and it's my choice when I let go and return to 'me' thinking/doing/focus.
Hang in there and know you aren't alone! I get it, and know what you're saying/sharing. So grateful this program helps me
Forever a work in progress . Thank you Iamhere will try that technique .