although im mostly reading others shares here instead of shareing myself,
im finding it hard either way ,rather it's showing up or shareing.
im learning to just show up for events that I want to go to,
land share when I feel I need to.
im been going from this board to aca board lately,
this mip always be home home group ,aca second.
for my childhood traumas have been long gone,
my living with a active loved ones hasn't been long ago ,so it's still fairly fresh as what all I endured there ,made me stronger ,I survived it,
all this still goes way back into my childhood at a very young age as many of you have read my past shares.
as a child I never had a voice in nothing,I stayed in isolation for my af kept us way away from civilization ,raised in the backwoods,mom was the codependent she done all she could or knew to do copeing and dealing with a active husband herself.
crises was the most action we got growing up,lots of it.
so a lifetime of living in a chaotic,disfunctional home,
doesnt come easy to change all that over night ,it takes months even years,maybe rest of my life trying to figure all this out.
it is working ,I'm going at a slow pace,I've prolly done a lot of over thinking sit.beating myself up trying to get well sooner than my hp will for me,me running ahead ,don't work that way.
i have good days,lots of bad days,bands days now are just me getting well ,I think ,it's a process ,and Im trusting in that process.
im stopping here for I'm needing to get ready and show up for church this morning,
i can do this,I got this ,me and my hp has got this.thanks for listening,sorry I've jumped all over the place with my topic,
guess I get a bit overwhelmed ,,,,,,,hugs LU
hotrod said
Mar 19, 2017
HI Lu, thanks for checking in. I love the title of your post , I have found it to be so true. I have a sign on my desk that states "80% of life is simply showing up". I know that when I show up for my life regardless of my negative voices I can experience life on life"s terms . That is when I have "smart feet" and just show up with my non judgmental alanon tools, I am living in the moment and in the day, can experience life and joy and have left my childhood and past where they belong in the past. I believe that that is what recovery is all about .
I too had a chaotic childhood and in the beginning of my recovery journey experimented with both ACA and alanon. I found that the tools and structure of alanon best suited my recovery needs and keep coming back.
I addressed my past childhood issues by working a 4 th through 11 th step several times and now discover that my old reactions have been lifted and new ones such as compassion empathy, wisdom and acceptance have surface.
.
Freetime said
Mar 19, 2017
Hi LU, I am so glad you showed up and that you shared.
Your post reminded me of what I love about this program that we are all part of.
We may have our issues, but we are working on them, and that is a gift.
lookingup said
Mar 19, 2017
Thank you Hotrod and free time for your always great esh,and wisdom.
I am finding my tools to be of more than greater help to me when I show up for anything,
I also attended church this morning again ,having these tools to live by,are like a gold nugget in the pams of my hands.
For nothing bothered me ,I was at peace with myself,I kept my serenity ,I stayed calm,throughout my morning services,
I knew I was not alone anymore,
I was able to smile at others,speaking only positives.
Wow how this program works ,
Before program I had dropped completely out of society,I would have left church way before it ended,lots of anxiety going on.
Today I'm actually sticking with it,finishing what I began,
I did skip one Sunday account of time change,that's what I'm blaming it on,lol.
I'm Greateful to be here today sharing ,it can only get better with time.
I am getting the full benifits of my program when I'm out and about others,
While with my foo,that's when it gets lots more challenging,it seems lots diff. With loved ones,when trying to stay with my program,
Again that's because it's loved ones makes it a bit tougher.
hotrod said
Mar 19, 2017
(((LU)) you are doing great Remember progress not perfection is what we seek. Positive thoughts continue
lookingup said
Mar 19, 2017
Iamhere said
Mar 20, 2017
I love this share LU - so, so, so great to see your progress!! Keep doing what you are doing - it looks so good on you!
Today I'm doing my best in showing up,
im doing better ,I think,
although im mostly reading others shares here instead of shareing myself,
im finding it hard either way ,rather it's showing up or shareing.
im learning to just show up for events that I want to go to,
land share when I feel I need to.
im been going from this board to aca board lately,
this mip always be home home group ,aca second.
for my childhood traumas have been long gone,
my living with a active loved ones hasn't been long ago ,so it's still fairly fresh as what all I endured there ,made me stronger ,I survived it,
all this still goes way back into my childhood at a very young age as many of you have read my past shares.
as a child I never had a voice in nothing,I stayed in isolation for my af kept us way away from civilization ,raised in the backwoods,mom was the codependent she done all she could or knew to do copeing and dealing with a active husband herself.
crises was the most action we got growing up,lots of it.
so a lifetime of living in a chaotic,disfunctional home,
doesnt come easy to change all that over night ,it takes months even years,maybe rest of my life trying to figure all this out.
it is working ,I'm going at a slow pace,I've prolly done a lot of over thinking sit.beating myself up trying to get well sooner than my hp will for me,me running ahead ,don't work that way.
i have good days,lots of bad days,bands days now are just me getting well ,I think ,it's a process ,and Im trusting in that process.
im stopping here for I'm needing to get ready and show up for church this morning,
i can do this,I got this ,me and my hp has got this.thanks for listening,sorry I've jumped all over the place with my topic,
guess I get a bit overwhelmed ,,,,,,,hugs LU
HI Lu, thanks for checking in. I love the title of your post , I have found it to be so true. I have a sign on my desk that states "80% of life is simply showing up". I know that when I show up for my life regardless of my negative voices I can experience life on life"s terms . That is when I have "smart feet" and just show up with my non judgmental alanon tools, I am living in the moment and in the day, can experience life and joy and have left my childhood and past where they belong in the past. I believe that that is what recovery is all about .
I too had a chaotic childhood and in the beginning of my recovery journey experimented with both ACA and alanon. I found that the tools and structure of alanon best suited my recovery needs and keep coming back.
I addressed my past childhood issues by working a 4 th through 11 th step several times and now discover that my old reactions have been lifted and new ones such as compassion empathy, wisdom and acceptance have surface.
.
Hi LU, I am so glad you showed up and that you shared.
Your post reminded me of what I love about this program that we are all part of.
We may have our issues, but we are working on them, and that is a gift.
I am finding my tools to be of more than greater help to me when I show up for anything,
I also attended church this morning again ,having these tools to live by,are like a gold nugget in the pams of my hands.
For nothing bothered me ,I was at peace with myself,I kept my serenity ,I stayed calm,throughout my morning services,
I knew I was not alone anymore,
I was able to smile at others,speaking only positives.
Wow how this program works ,
Before program I had dropped completely out of society,I would have left church way before it ended,lots of anxiety going on.
Today I'm actually sticking with it,finishing what I began,
I did skip one Sunday account of time change,that's what I'm blaming it on,lol.
I'm Greateful to be here today sharing ,it can only get better with time.
I am getting the full benifits of my program when I'm out and about others,
While with my foo,that's when it gets lots more challenging,it seems lots diff. With loved ones,when trying to stay with my program,
Again that's because it's loved ones makes it a bit tougher.