I loved books as a kids- books became my teddy bears. I have noticed that i still have books around me, including my recovery books...

...when i first came upon the MIP groups the talisman I had was found in alanon Concept 4- participation is the key to harmony.

i grew up close to an old gold mining town- that had become a sheep farming town. Books weren't prized or valued much, especially

at school. I learned to keep my head down and my trap shut.

Its Saturday morning here. By way of wallpaper I have our national radio programme on. The sun is streaming in- it is early autumn.

On my journey I realised that i could not free myself from all and every experience I had had- many of them bad ones. What I figured

is that i could reflect on the turning points, and make my next run of choices a bit better.

I needed to relax this morning- and might have picked up something light. I had never really learned what to actually do at any given time.

This was really stressful. This morning I picked up the Alanon manual really- "Paths to Recovery".

Include the first page i found a quote from one of my most favourite people. In fact as i look back through the deep struggles of my life

I realise that Lois and Bill had become my mum and dad.

I won't say a lot about this here- but being able to visit their home, in NY State was a real turning point for my recovery.

The quote says: "our hearts do not need logic, they can love and forgive and accept that which our minds cannot comprehend. Hearts understand in ways our minds cannot." -Lois W.

I realise, as I write this, that i had used a heart in one of my shares this week.

I have a special relationship with the next member who walks in the door. It immediately takes me back to my first meeting. In my backwoods world- if they don't make it at that place there is nowhere round the corner, or down the road this person can go to. This is always "it".

My mind takes me back to the point of departure from my family. My mum and dad had come home from the pub at about 7 p.m. My mum fired up at my sister- aged 12, because she didn't have tea ready. I fired up and said she didn't have anything to cook.

So, sticking up for people had its consequences for me. But deep down I always knew- that there was a time for this. When the heart kicks in. Whatever the consequences.

Getting to do this, in a safe place, happened to me this week. It had good consequences.

I wept, and I still weep with gratitude.

Home at last.

((David)) Glad that you finally feel safe. Program tools do work when we work them.

I love that share David...it reminds me of a song my heart and head and spirit goes to when the light is turned on over the records of my past...."Memories".  The first stanza sings "Memories ...light the corners of my mind" and I can dwell there now in safety and calm...no longer afraid and or angry about how it was and use to be.  The fellowship heals my spirit and I can smile.   Mahalo Piha again and again.   ((((hugs))))