I have been attending 2 meetings a week for a while now and wish I could make some friends in program. Sometimes I share at meetings and sometimes I just listen. I have tried sitting next to people and remembering their names. Some of them remember mine. I have gone up to people and said that their share meant something to me. I sometimes hang out for a minute or two after the meetings and help put away literature. I have received quick hugs after meetings, but I still wish I could connect like I see others do. Sometimes I share a little before a meeting starts, but people just don't seem to warm up to me. I am open to ideas if anyone has some suggestions.
hotrod said
Mar 9, 2017
Hi MovieGal Connecting with other members, is a bit confusing at the beginning of the Al-Anon journey. I see that you are showing up , volunteering, speaking to members regarding their share.after the meeting. All of these actions are perfect ways of breaking the ice.
If your group has a telephone list, then I would consult the telephone list and take the numbers and begin making phone calls. If there is no list available, then I have found asking members that I can identify with. for their telephone number and checking to see what time would be good to talk to them. This has blossomed into many lasting friendships. In fact I just spoke to a fellow member today that I had not spoken to in 10 years and it felt like we were connected on a very deep level and had much to share.
Asking for phone numbers will help. Please keep coming back here as well. You're not alone
Iamhere said
Mar 9, 2017
Hey there Moviegal - it took me some time to get close to folks - I was so caught up in me, myself and I was crazy for a bit....I too felt that others were closer and I had to realize they knew each other a bit longer. It just takes time - keep doing what you're doing! I did finally just blurt out asking if anyone wanted to go get coffee or lunch with me (our meetings are at noon) and got a taker!
Since then, I've become the unofficial social person - suggesting potlucks, planning Cheap Taco Night at a local restaurant, lunch across town this week....We now have more folks attend our meeting knowing there is fellowship/food after on our pot-luck days and everyone really enjoys it. Some folks can't stay (work, etc.) which is why we kind of added other times for fellowship.
The AA side has many opportunities to interact with others and my Al-Anon group was in need of 'fun'. I love fun, food and fellowship so just kind of asked at a business meeting and it went from there!
I agree with Betty too - reaching out via the phone is a great way to build relationships. We do have a phone list and I use it as needed!
I have been attending 2 meetings a week for a while now and wish I could make some friends in program. Sometimes I share at meetings and sometimes I just listen. I have tried sitting next to people and remembering their names. Some of them remember mine. I have gone up to people and said that their share meant something to me. I sometimes hang out for a minute or two after the meetings and help put away literature. I have received quick hugs after meetings, but I still wish I could connect like I see others do. Sometimes I share a little before a meeting starts, but people just don't seem to warm up to me. I am open to ideas if anyone has some suggestions.
If your group has a telephone list, then I would consult the telephone list and take the numbers and begin making phone calls. If there is no list available, then I have found asking members that I can identify with. for their telephone number and checking to see what time would be good to talk to them. This has blossomed into many lasting friendships. In fact I just spoke to a fellow member today that I had not spoken to in 10 years and it felt like we were connected on a very deep level and had much to share.
Asking for phone numbers will help. Please keep coming back here as well. You're not alone
Since then, I've become the unofficial social person - suggesting potlucks, planning Cheap Taco Night at a local restaurant, lunch across town this week....We now have more folks attend our meeting knowing there is fellowship/food after on our pot-luck days and everyone really enjoys it. Some folks can't stay (work, etc.) which is why we kind of added other times for fellowship.
The AA side has many opportunities to interact with others and my Al-Anon group was in need of 'fun'. I love fun, food and fellowship so just kind of asked at a business meeting and it went from there!
I agree with Betty too - reaching out via the phone is a great way to build relationships. We do have a phone list and I use it as needed!