I am a fairly new Al-Anon (joined mid 2016) and recently got involved in service work in our Business Meetings: the meetings in which we discuss practical things such as the treasurer's update and news that comes in via group delegates at different levels. It is here that our members can take a group conscience to agree on things like: do we have separate step study groups? do we organise an Al-Anon day? how do we adhere to the principles of anonymity?
If you have time, I would be hugely grateful if you could weigh in on the topics below and/or how your current group approaches these subject. This is for me to find out what the general feelings are of group members, what your expectations and needs are; it will give me the big picture so that I can do service in a way that is meaningful to both newcomers and longtime members and especially those who are not involved in service. We let it begin with us, but we also work together to help eachother. I know this is a big post, but your input is very much appreciated!
1. What does it mean to you to have a Home group?
>>>My home group is the one that is held in my town. There is only one. I am from Canada, so weather does not always permit me taking a trip to attend meetings in other places. When the road conditions are good I definitely do go to a lot of other groups and I like the diversity. My own group feels special because it was the first one I ever went to, it has a separate step-study group and I have a real connection with the people in it.
Q1: Have you explicitly chosen a Home Group? Why?
Q2: Do you have one Home Group or do you have more?
Q3: Do you hold one or more service positions?
2. Keeping members updated: how does your group do this?
>>>My group has an email list. People can subscribe to it. We recently decided to send out all messages in BCC: you do not see who else gets it. When I first joined this group, the email addresses were visible, unless you requested to be on the blind (BCC) list. The change over to BCC has to do with the fact that it gives a lot of members a stronger sense of safety when nobody sees their details - if they want to connect with another member they can do so in person, during fellowship.
3. If you have an email list: when members sign up for the email list do you automatically consider them members of your Home Group?
>>>Our group gives out medallions for membership birthdays and for people who have been in service. So we need to know the join date for that. I wonder how important people find this or that they just want to be on the list to receive our messages. Having a Home Group has meaning to those who are involved in service, it seems, but many "normal" members do not really know about it. Some don't even care, certainly not in the beginning.
4. Anonymity and your identity
>>>Not everybody is aware of the fact that sometimes an email may not contain personal details, but the software knows who they are and display their full name. Gmail is a good example. Google distinguishes between the name you subscribed with and your actual email address. If you email is JS@gmail.com and you subscribed as John Smith, then I will see John Smith as the sender of the email, even if it is the very first time we connected by email. Google offers the option to add an "alias" to your account. This alias then is displayed as your identity. Google still knows you as John Smith, but the recipients of your emails only see the alias, for instance: ServiceJohn or whatever you want.
Q1: How does your group handle email addresses that turn out to show somebody's identity? Or do you feel that this is at the person's own discretion?
Q2: Do you make a distinction between members with open details and those who wish to stay disclosed?
Q3: Do you use cell phone numbers to let members know about a cancelled meeting (not abnormal here in the north when there is black ice!)
5. Do you even want to be kept up to date via email? Or do you want to be able to be a member of a home group and not get the messages?
>>>As a newcomer I remember being very hungry for information. Each time I came into the meetings in the beginning and I saw there was a group of people in conversation during an obvious sub meeting I wanted to know what they were doing, because it felt as if I had "missed the news". In the beginning all I got was: "Keep coming back!" with a smile and without an answer. And as a newcomer that was pretty irritating to me. I asked for information and did not always get it or understand what it was about. So to me, being on an email list and hearing about special activities that are upcoming is really helpful. I also go online to find out about upcoming events, but I am very interested in other things to do with the group as well.
6. Finally: How would you like your group to manage their member list? Should somebody keep track if you don't come for a long time? Should you automatically be taken off the list? Or should we do an annual "opt-in" email to all names on the list? Which means: we take you off the list unless you send us a message that you want to keep receiving the messages?
>>>Everybody seems to have another opinion on this and since our leaders do not govern, it can be hard to make a decision about these things. However, the more input I have, the better I can follow what majority wants...
Well, that's it I think. Thank you if you can take some time to give your insights. I think a forum like this is a wonderful way to hear what people think without instantly having to start a personal conversation about this with my actual group... but I will!
Thanks and I hope you are having a nice day today!
hotrod said
Mar 6, 2017
Hi licorice, I really don't have the time to answer all your questions however I would like to say that I chose my homegroup because of the format which was a round-robin which meant I did not have to raise my hand to share and because of the size it was less than 20 people. The group also focused on the steps and traditions and slogans. Read from our daily readers and did not have a speaker. All these appealed to me
We do not keep our members informed via email. Nor is a email list maintained. Members are informed by attending meetings .
I do service at my home group but make sure that I allow newer members the opportunity to serve. I never serve at any service position more than once a year.
We have a business meeting once a month, which is announced the prior week, and people can bring issues to the business meeting. Decisions are made by a group conscience.
My anonymity is ot that important to me but I do understand the importance
I hope this helps
Licorice said
Mar 6, 2017
Thank you so much, Betty! I am fine with the way you answered, by the way... this is not an official questionnaire but it helps getting an overview setting it up with clear choices. Thank you for your time!
hotrod said
Mar 6, 2017
Glad I could be of assistance
Iamhere said
Mar 6, 2017
I'll add quickly - I don't like the term home group. I've got history and baggage around that and it's my issue - not specific to any group. Many, many moons ago, at larger events, this was one of those questions that seemed to draw boundaries. So, I don't consider myself to belong to a home group, rather go to 3 different standing/regular meetings. I attend 3 different groups on 3 different days and do service as needed at each.
Each is different. One has sign-ups for service including meeting leaders, the other has sign-ups for service excluding leaders. The third has a clipboard that folks can sign-up in advance if desired - if nobody does, anyone leads but the topic is selected ahead of time. The first two are open topic meetings, so anyone can bring forward the topic at the time of the meeting.
One has a book study once a month. All 3 have business meetings monthly. 2 of them have the meeting scheduled for an hour. 1 has it scheduled for 15 minutes. I prefer the 3rd - due to the shortness of time. Most folks do not attend the business meetings in our area and are satisfied with the outcome. If they have a suggestion, we ask them to attend. Easy/peasy.
We have email address lists at all 3. We also have private facebook group for one. Being on the email list is optional. We don't do any bcc. We work hard to keep it simple. Calling a group a 'home group' is words and has no meaning. Being added to an email list is for information purposes - no business is ever shared, more logistics or social announcements. Membership is optional across the board - we are together as a choice vs. a requirement.
Hope that helps. I go to meetings when I need a meeting. I go to these 3 as I love my family there and I get what I need. I've changed my meetings up at times as I had a different need or wanted to work on my listening skills. Again, I'm not thrilled with the term home group as we're supposed to be about attraction vs. promotion....for me, I get what I need any meeting I go to - that's God speaking to me through others. Good Luck.
Neroli said
Mar 6, 2017
Hi Licorice,
I regularly attend 3 meetings a week and I don't consider one of them a home group. They each have their unique flavor. One group, the first I went to, is a very small, intimate group. This has benefits and drawbacks, and I used to think of it as my home group. But since I found that I get a lot more out of the expansive, varied sharing of the larger two groups (simply because of more people) I now see all 3 as having equal but different importance to me. I hold service positions that I sign up for on a clipboard that is passed around every month. The service I perform changes all the time. All service positions are shared freely by anyone who signs up. If someone is not good at leading the meeting, then we help them as they go along and they get better at it.
Members are kept updated through announcements at the end of the meetings. None of my groups use email, though we have phone lists. I live in a populated area, so I have the choice to attend many different meetings that are within 15 minutes of my home, as do all the other members. People really tend to move in and out of groups pretty fluidly, many people are familiar to me from more than one meeting, and the groups tend to announce each others' business as well as their own. (I'm a regular in only my 3, but I know there are lots of other local meetings that my al-anon friends attend.) Two of the groups have notebooks where people can sign up for their membership "birthdays" but I think most people opt out of it. I have to admit that in bad weather people have shown up to meetings to find no one else there, so we obviously could use some improvement there, and our phone lists are not kept very up to date, but it would be tough since there's so much movement between the groups.
All 3 groups have a business meeting once a month, and one has it during the regular meeting so all members are present for the business meeting there, no smaller group of people meeting. The other 2 have it after the regular meeting and all are invited, even if you are brand new. However most new members choose not to attend until they feel more settled.
I think it's interesting to find out how al-anon works in other places.
Licorice said
Mar 6, 2017
Thank you for your input, Neroli!
Licorice said
Mar 6, 2017
Thanks, Iamhere. Like your handle, by the way!
el-cee said
Mar 7, 2017
Hi and welcome, in reading your post I cant help but think of the slogan 'Easy does it.' You seem to be in a rush to get answers and I can understand that. Usually service work is a gradual thing well in my experience, it starts with making tea, helping set up the room, welcoming people at the door and all the while the bulk of the work we need is within us. I hope you dont take offence but are you focusing on the service work as a way to avoid the inside work of the steps? The reason I ask is thats exactly what Ive done most of my life and even now I can hide from me in big projects or big big things I deem important when in fact its my dis-ease at work.
It looks to me that you have the craving and are an organised person. Imagine how much you could know about you and your motives if the work you did was not on the service work but on you. Just my take on things, it might be worthwhile getting a sponsor who can take you through the steps. Good luck.
Licorice said
Mar 7, 2017
Hi El-Cee,
Not offended at all and I see where you are coming from. I am in a dedicated stepgroup, I hold a service posotion and share in many groups. Lots of inner work in progress. That is why I was hesitant to say yes to an official service position. I was much more at ease with the little things, like setting up chairs.
But then my sponsor said that it would be good for me to not just do stuff I am at ease with.
Right now I feel what I crave is info about group dynamics because it is so hard to get people to make a decision. Group unity above personalities is not easy to implement. But more info and ideas might help. Taking it outside of our own sandbox and keep an open mind.
A lot of this is also linked with how to work with care for anonymity and choosing to be more open so that newcomers can reach out outside of fellowship. Personal approach is often daunting although you could argue that the reaching out is part of the healing process.
Maybe also the email thing makes us hold back on fellowship while that is one of our strongest tools: hear many, listen to many and find support in the group; not just online or via email.
I have no fixed opinion which is why I brought foreard this subject on the forum. I don't want young people to turn away because we are not used to modern media and I would love to help open up the digital world to those with less computer savvy. But it needs to be clear as well that the main source of recovery is in also attending the meetings and having a sponsor and doing the step study.
Thank you for caring and taking the time to respond, El-cee!
I am a fairly new Al-Anon (joined mid 2016) and recently got involved in service work in our Business Meetings: the meetings in which we discuss practical things such as the treasurer's update and news that comes in via group delegates at different levels. It is here that our members can take a group conscience to agree on things like: do we have separate step study groups? do we organise an Al-Anon day? how do we adhere to the principles of anonymity?
If you have time, I would be hugely grateful if you could weigh in on the topics below and/or how your current group approaches these subject. This is for me to find out what the general feelings are of group members, what your expectations and needs are; it will give me the big picture so that I can do service in a way that is meaningful to both newcomers and longtime members and especially those who are not involved in service. We let it begin with us, but we also work together to help eachother. I know this is a big post, but your input is very much appreciated!
1. What does it mean to you to have a Home group?
>>>My home group is the one that is held in my town. There is only one. I am from Canada, so weather does not always permit me taking a trip to attend meetings in other places. When the road conditions are good I definitely do go to a lot of other groups and I like the diversity. My own group feels special because it was the first one I ever went to, it has a separate step-study group and I have a real connection with the people in it.
Q1: Have you explicitly chosen a Home Group? Why?
Q2: Do you have one Home Group or do you have more?
Q3: Do you hold one or more service positions?
2. Keeping members updated: how does your group do this?
>>>My group has an email list. People can subscribe to it. We recently decided to send out all messages in BCC: you do not see who else gets it. When I first joined this group, the email addresses were visible, unless you requested to be on the blind (BCC) list. The change over to BCC has to do with the fact that it gives a lot of members a stronger sense of safety when nobody sees their details - if they want to connect with another member they can do so in person, during fellowship.
3. If you have an email list: when members sign up for the email list do you automatically consider them members of your Home Group?
>>>Our group gives out medallions for membership birthdays and for people who have been in service. So we need to know the join date for that. I wonder how important people find this or that they just want to be on the list to receive our messages. Having a Home Group has meaning to those who are involved in service, it seems, but many "normal" members do not really know about it. Some don't even care, certainly not in the beginning.
4. Anonymity and your identity
>>>Not everybody is aware of the fact that sometimes an email may not contain personal details, but the software knows who they are and display their full name. Gmail is a good example. Google distinguishes between the name you subscribed with and your actual email address. If you email is JS@gmail.com and you subscribed as John Smith, then I will see John Smith as the sender of the email, even if it is the very first time we connected by email. Google offers the option to add an "alias" to your account. This alias then is displayed as your identity. Google still knows you as John Smith, but the recipients of your emails only see the alias, for instance: ServiceJohn or whatever you want.
Q1: How does your group handle email addresses that turn out to show somebody's identity? Or do you feel that this is at the person's own discretion?
Q2: Do you make a distinction between members with open details and those who wish to stay disclosed?
Q3: Do you use cell phone numbers to let members know about a cancelled meeting (not abnormal here in the north when there is black ice!)
5. Do you even want to be kept up to date via email? Or do you want to be able to be a member of a home group and not get the messages?
>>>As a newcomer I remember being very hungry for information. Each time I came into the meetings in the beginning and I saw there was a group of people in conversation during an obvious sub meeting I wanted to know what they were doing, because it felt as if I had "missed the news". In the beginning all I got was: "Keep coming back!" with a smile and without an answer. And as a newcomer that was pretty irritating to me. I asked for information and did not always get it or understand what it was about. So to me, being on an email list and hearing about special activities that are upcoming is really helpful. I also go online to find out about upcoming events, but I am very interested in other things to do with the group as well.
6. Finally: How would you like your group to manage their member list? Should somebody keep track if you don't come for a long time? Should you automatically be taken off the list? Or should we do an annual "opt-in" email to all names on the list? Which means: we take you off the list unless you send us a message that you want to keep receiving the messages?
>>>Everybody seems to have another opinion on this and since our leaders do not govern, it can be hard to make a decision about these things. However, the more input I have, the better I can follow what majority wants...
Well, that's it I think. Thank you if you can take some time to give your insights. I think a forum like this is a wonderful way to hear what people think without instantly having to start a personal conversation about this with my actual group... but I will!
Thanks and I hope you are having a nice day today!
Hi licorice, I really don't have the time to answer all your questions however I would like to say that I chose my homegroup because of the format which was a round-robin which meant I did not have to raise my hand to share and because of the size it was less than 20 people. The group also focused on the steps and traditions and slogans. Read from our daily readers and did not have a speaker. All these appealed to me
We do not keep our members informed via email. Nor is a email list maintained. Members are informed by attending meetings .
I do service at my home group but make sure that I allow newer members the opportunity to serve. I never serve at any service position more than once a year.
We have a business meeting once a month, which is announced the prior week, and people can bring issues to the business meeting. Decisions are made by a group conscience.
My anonymity is ot that important to me but I do understand the importance
I hope this helps
Each is different. One has sign-ups for service including meeting leaders, the other has sign-ups for service excluding leaders. The third has a clipboard that folks can sign-up in advance if desired - if nobody does, anyone leads but the topic is selected ahead of time. The first two are open topic meetings, so anyone can bring forward the topic at the time of the meeting.
One has a book study once a month. All 3 have business meetings monthly. 2 of them have the meeting scheduled for an hour. 1 has it scheduled for 15 minutes. I prefer the 3rd - due to the shortness of time. Most folks do not attend the business meetings in our area and are satisfied with the outcome. If they have a suggestion, we ask them to attend. Easy/peasy.
We have email address lists at all 3. We also have private facebook group for one. Being on the email list is optional. We don't do any bcc. We work hard to keep it simple. Calling a group a 'home group' is words and has no meaning. Being added to an email list is for information purposes - no business is ever shared, more logistics or social announcements. Membership is optional across the board - we are together as a choice vs. a requirement.
Hope that helps. I go to meetings when I need a meeting. I go to these 3 as I love my family there and I get what I need. I've changed my meetings up at times as I had a different need or wanted to work on my listening skills. Again, I'm not thrilled with the term home group as we're supposed to be about attraction vs. promotion....for me, I get what I need any meeting I go to - that's God speaking to me through others. Good Luck.
Hi Licorice,
I regularly attend 3 meetings a week and I don't consider one of them a home group. They each have their unique flavor. One group, the first I went to, is a very small, intimate group. This has benefits and drawbacks, and I used to think of it as my home group. But since I found that I get a lot more out of the expansive, varied sharing of the larger two groups (simply because of more people) I now see all 3 as having equal but different importance to me. I hold service positions that I sign up for on a clipboard that is passed around every month. The service I perform changes all the time. All service positions are shared freely by anyone who signs up. If someone is not good at leading the meeting, then we help them as they go along and they get better at it.
Members are kept updated through announcements at the end of the meetings. None of my groups use email, though we have phone lists. I live in a populated area, so I have the choice to attend many different meetings that are within 15 minutes of my home, as do all the other members. People really tend to move in and out of groups pretty fluidly, many people are familiar to me from more than one meeting, and the groups tend to announce each others' business as well as their own. (I'm a regular in only my 3, but I know there are lots of other local meetings that my al-anon friends attend.) Two of the groups have notebooks where people can sign up for their membership "birthdays" but I think most people opt out of it. I have to admit that in bad weather people have shown up to meetings to find no one else there, so we obviously could use some improvement there, and our phone lists are not kept very up to date, but it would be tough since there's so much movement between the groups.
All 3 groups have a business meeting once a month, and one has it during the regular meeting so all members are present for the business meeting there, no smaller group of people meeting. The other 2 have it after the regular meeting and all are invited, even if you are brand new. However most new members choose not to attend until they feel more settled.
I think it's interesting to find out how al-anon works in other places.
Thank you for your input, Neroli!
Hi and welcome, in reading your post I cant help but think of the slogan 'Easy does it.' You seem to be in a rush to get answers and I can understand that. Usually service work is a gradual thing well in my experience, it starts with making tea, helping set up the room, welcoming people at the door and all the while the bulk of the work we need is within us. I hope you dont take offence but are you focusing on the service work as a way to avoid the inside work of the steps? The reason I ask is thats exactly what Ive done most of my life and even now I can hide from me in big projects or big big things I deem important when in fact its my dis-ease at work.
It looks to me that you have the craving and are an organised person. Imagine how much you could know about you and your motives if the work you did was not on the service work but on you. Just my take on things, it might be worthwhile getting a sponsor who can take you through the steps. Good luck.