A new day and again I am amazed at how much more I see. And not more about my AH, about me. I see how this all really was affecting me. I noticed I took on the "I don't care" state of mind. I didn't care if I left my home in utter shambles. No one else cares why should I!
Small things I let slide became mountains I thought I could no longer move. This disorganization that I let take over, was adding to my anger. I began blaming everyone for it. My AH said a statment to me once when I was in a moment of anger because of the chaos....."Don't look at it, you won't see it". At the time it was to "lighten" my mood. Overtime it played in my head. And I really did begin not to look. I get it, I did't want to see.......how is drinking had gotten worse, how I let me resentment of that fact take over me and I began to add to my own chaso.
This was driving me even more "crazy".
As I start to put things back together, one piece at a time I am starting to breathe again. My actions really did cause me more harmful feelings, I was so very spiteful. Which accomplished nothing. There will still be days where this chaso will rise again......I'm definately not a merry maid.....and my own personal life gets busy. What I do about it, how I handle it, will change how I look at so much more around me.
(((everyone))) let this be a wonderful for each of you!
hotrod said
Feb 22, 2017
((Curlyblu) ) Thank you for your inspiring, and honest share. I can see that by keeping the focus on yourself, your recovery has certainly taken off and is on the way.It is evident that you are growing in leaps and bounds.
Please do "Keep coming back."
Curlyblu said
Feb 22, 2017
Something so simple yet so powerful. I couldn't see that even letting my side of the my room become disorganized like his I was letting go of some order in my personal space. I can let go of his space as that is his problem as well. Mine is me.
hotrod said
Feb 22, 2017
Great awareness and acceptance . You are growing and are on your way
A new day and again I am amazed at how much more I see. And not more about my AH, about me. I see how this all really was affecting me. I noticed I took on the "I don't care" state of mind. I didn't care if I left my home in utter shambles. No one else cares why should I!
Small things I let slide became mountains I thought I could no longer move. This disorganization that I let take over, was adding to my anger. I began blaming everyone for it. My AH said a statment to me once when I was in a moment of anger because of the chaos....."Don't look at it, you won't see it". At the time it was to "lighten" my mood. Overtime it played in my head. And I really did begin not to look. I get it, I did't want to see.......how is drinking had gotten worse, how I let me resentment of that fact take over me and I began to add to my own chaso.
This was driving me even more "crazy".
As I start to put things back together, one piece at a time I am starting to breathe again. My actions really did cause me more harmful feelings, I was so very spiteful. Which accomplished nothing. There will still be days where this chaso will rise again......I'm definately not a merry maid
.....and my own personal life gets busy. What I do about it, how I handle it, will change how I look at so much more around me.
(((everyone))) let this be a wonderful for each of you!
((Curlyblu) ) Thank you for your inspiring, and honest share. I can see that by keeping the focus on yourself, your recovery has certainly taken off and is on the way.It is evident that you are growing in leaps and bounds.
Please do "Keep coming back."