Today's reading is about the importance of listening, and the value of being heard. The strength in our meetings often is felt simply because there is a group of people all gathered simply to bear witness for one another. In the reading a husband describes a walk with his wife; when she begins to speak about her alcoholic mom, he answers with a comparison to his own childhood and what he endured. He then remembers his wife telling him that there are times when she just wants someone to listen-not necessarily try to fix whatever the problem is.
This reminded me of the first few meetings I ever attended, when it was too difficult to share- I always felt better just from listening and after some time realized my being there was important for others as well.
I am grateful for Alanon, and for this site- when I came here about 4 years ago I would often reach out in the middle of the night when insomnia had its grips on me. I was always heard, and I appreciate that!
I hope everyone enjoys their day-- I hope you are sharing when you need to be heard and listening when someone else does :)
Mary
hotrod said
Feb 14, 2017
Good Morning Mary Thank you for sharing I too experienced difficulites sharing at my first few meetings and found simply being present around people who were honest, open and willing a great comfort. I did learn to listen to learn. Thanks for your service on this lovely Valentine Day.
Iamhere said
Feb 14, 2017
Good morning Betty and Mary! Thank you both for your service and for the great daily. Like many things, I had to learn how to listen in recovery. I was passively listening most of my life, either hearing what I wanted or preparing my response while another was talking. It took practice to still my mind and actually absorb the message - grateful I've improved in this area!
The same goes with sharing - I was a fixer and had to realize that was not what was desired most of the time. Others often just want an ear to hear them process out loud and we each have our own HP to lead us to the next step in our journey.
Grateful for recovery and grateful for all of you! Happy Tuesday and Happy Valentine's Day! (((Hugs)))
yanksfan51 said
Feb 14, 2017
Betty-
thank you for response and for putting the post where it belongs!
haha- I don't know how I posted to business forum and once I realized I did, I didn't know how to fix it;)
thank you!!
m
DavidG said
Feb 14, 2017
Thanks, Mary, and Betty... ...
The reading takes me back to early days in Alanon. As a kid I became a great observer, with great beady eyes- I called myself a fly-on-the-wall kid. it kept me out of trouble a lot of the time, but it also cut me out of routine day to day conversations...
Our Alanon group has very close links to AA. In fact me and an AA member founded an open sharing meeting together to study the steps and traditions... ...in small isolated communities there are often not enough people to form a single interest group.
Some AA members i used to call "machine-gun mouths" because they seemed to talk endlessly. But there seemed to be no wiring between the mouth and the ears... people in our town would have said "his ears are just painted on".
But as I learned to speak, and got a bead on my own emotions I got like this too. I found it to be a necessary part of growth... having to begin with baby steps was humbling at first- but that humility came in handy later on...
HI Everyone
Mary Posted this message to the Business section of the Alanon Forum. I transferred it
Good morning Everyone-
Today's reading is about the importance of listening, and the value of being heard. The strength in our meetings often is felt simply because there is a group of people all gathered simply to bear witness for one another. In the reading a husband describes a walk with his wife; when she begins to speak about her alcoholic mom, he answers with a comparison to his own childhood and what he endured. He then remembers his wife telling him that there are times when she just wants someone to listen-not necessarily try to fix whatever the problem is.
This reminded me of the first few meetings I ever attended, when it was too difficult to share- I always felt better just from listening and after some time realized my being there was important for others as well.
I am grateful for Alanon, and for this site- when I came here about 4 years ago I would often reach out in the middle of the night when insomnia had its grips on me. I was always heard, and I appreciate that!
I hope everyone enjoys their day-- I hope you are sharing when you need to be heard and listening when someone else does :)
Mary
Good Morning Mary Thank you for sharing I too experienced difficulites sharing at my first few meetings and found simply being present around people who were honest, open and willing a great comfort. I did learn to listen to learn.
Thanks for your service on this lovely Valentine Day.
The same goes with sharing - I was a fixer and had to realize that was not what was desired most of the time. Others often just want an ear to hear them process out loud and we each have our own HP to lead us to the next step in our journey.
Grateful for recovery and grateful for all of you! Happy Tuesday and Happy Valentine's Day! (((Hugs)))
Betty-
thank you for response and for putting the post where it belongs!
haha- I don't know how I posted to business forum and once I realized I did, I didn't know how to fix it;)
thank you!!
m
Thanks, Mary, and Betty...
...
The reading takes me back to early days in Alanon. As a kid I became a great observer, with great beady eyes- I called myself a fly-on-the-wall kid. it kept me out of trouble a lot of the time, but it also cut me out of routine day to day conversations...
Our Alanon group has very close links to AA. In fact me and an AA member founded an open sharing meeting together to study the steps and traditions... ...in small isolated communities there are often not enough people to form a single interest group.
Some AA members i used to call "machine-gun mouths" because they seemed to talk endlessly. But there seemed to be no wiring between the mouth and the ears... people in our town would have said "his ears are just painted on".
But as I learned to speak, and got a bead on my own emotions I got like this too. I found it to be a necessary part of growth... having to begin with baby steps was humbling at first- but that humility came in handy later on...
Thanks for the share y'all..
-D.