When there is a drinking problem in the family, all family members are affected.
Explaining the Disease
It's easy to deceive ourselves into thinking that the children don't know what is going on. But if we are really honest, we will see that the children do know something is terribly wrong. Children have an amazing capacity for dealing with the truth. Shrouding the illness in mystery and lies is far more frightening than a down-to-earth talk about the disease of alcoholism. (from the Al-Anon Family Groups pamphlet, How Can I Help My Children? [P-9])
Help is available for your family in Al-Anon Family Groups. In many communities, Alateen meetings are available for the teenaged family members. Teens are also welcome at Al-Anon meetings. Generally Alateen is for ages 13 to 18; note that some groups allow those younger than 13 to attend. Children must be able to participate in a shared learning experience, as AlAnon and Alateen group meetings are for mutual support. Alateen members share their own experience with using the Alateen program to deal with the problem drinkers in their lives. Al-Anon members who have been through a certification process serve as Alateen Group Sponsors.
If your children are too young for Alateen, the best help you can offer them is to attend Al-Anon Family Group meetings yourself. It is similar to the directions given on an airplane: put your own oxygen mask on first, and then try to help others. By learning more about the disease of alcoholism, and sharing with others who have experienced similar situations, you will be better able to support your children in dealing with your family members.
My son has been able to get to one Ala Teen meeting, and it was great! Him being advised by me from Al Anon was always good, but just knowing there are other kids out there going through the same kind of craziness was wonderful for him. I wish we didn't have two commitments on top of A a Teen on Tuesday night.
Kenny
Jerry F said
Feb 6, 2017
I worked with and sponsored Alateen for 6+ years and at the same time was a family therapist from within the program. The best method to positively affect the young ones is by example. They catch on fast and if you get off of program they will reflect it back at you often. One of the reasons I found that they make positive changes in their life during the disease is that they don't have as much time (experience) in it as we do and therefore change faster. Additionally they are affected by more affected adults than the adults. If you can and are permitted as if you can sit in on an Alateen group (gotta be okay with the sponsor AND the kids) and then just listen...don't say anything and if asked to share tell them you are only there to listen and then be quiet. ((((hugs))))
Taken from:
About Al-ateen:
http://www.al-anon.org/for-alateen/how-can-i-help-my-children
When there is a drinking problem in the family, all family members are affected.
Explaining the Disease
It's easy to deceive ourselves into thinking that the children don't know what is going on. But if we are really honest, we will see that the children do know something is terribly wrong. Children have an amazing capacity for dealing with the truth. Shrouding the illness in mystery and lies is far more frightening than a down-to-earth talk about the disease of alcoholism. (from the Al-Anon Family Groups pamphlet, How Can I Help My Children? [P-9])
Help is available for your family in Al-Anon Family Groups. In many communities, Alateen meetings are available for the teenaged family members. Teens are also welcome at Al-Anon meetings. Generally Alateen is for ages 13 to 18; note that some groups allow those younger than 13 to attend. Children must be able to participate in a shared learning experience, as AlAnon and Alateen group meetings are for mutual support. Alateen members share their own experience with using the Alateen program to deal with the problem drinkers in their lives. Al-Anon members who have been through a certification process serve as Alateen Group Sponsors.
If your children are too young for Alateen, the best help you can offer them is to attend Al-Anon Family Group meetings yourself. It is similar to the directions given on an airplane: put your own oxygen mask on first, and then try to help others. By learning more about the disease of alcoholism, and sharing with others who have experienced similar situations, you will be better able to support your children in dealing with your family members.
A letter to parents from an Al-ateen member: http://www.al-anon.org/an-alateen-letter
Kenny
I worked with and sponsored Alateen for 6+ years and at the same time was a family therapist from within the program. The best method to positively affect the young ones is by example. They catch on fast and if you get off of program they will reflect it back at you often. One of the reasons I found that they make positive changes in their life during the disease is that they don't have as much time (experience) in it as we do and therefore change faster. Additionally they are affected by more affected adults than the adults. If you can and are permitted as if you can sit in on an Alateen group (gotta be okay with the sponsor AND the kids) and then just listen...don't say anything and if asked to share tell them you are only there to listen and then be quiet. ((((hugs))))