well im going to be doing something, i hadnt planned. i left xah a year and 2 months ago, planning to get a job,live on my own and practice my new found indepence with alanon teachings. well economics just hit. no job found,been on unemployment etc and this week rent increased as well as some credit card debt etc. I am going to have to move in with my boyfriend[the hoarder] who is a wonderful man . we inteded to look for a new house but not this sooon. in the meantime i will be there with my stuff also, helping him organize and clean full time. this way i can save my money and take care of some debt etc. send prayers and esh to me
alyce
SerenityRUS said
Feb 4, 2017
Yarn, it's a big decision and I have relatively little experience on making good decisions .. most of the time .. LOL. I think if you are going into it with an open mind and understand what you are in for then there is a good potential for success and I wish you well on this new journey. It really sounds like he's a nice man and you see clearly what you are getting with him. I think it's hard to unconditionally love and accept people warts and all yet .. it's truly the one thing as a species we are all looking for.
Since venturing into dating it's been an eye opening experience as to what my part in my last relationship was and just the idea of living with someone again it is something that even just dating for me is a whole lot of communication, communication, communication, acceptance, letting go of the little stuff (deal breakers do not count as little stuff), boundaries and so on. We are relatively new into things and all I can say is being older there is a different set of baggage that comes along with the package and it's like dealing with Samsonite the stuff from the 60's .. lol. I don't know that I'm made out for relationships as a whole .. I do know I am happy with where I am at and that's what counts for me. If things stay exactly the way they are I'm ok with that.
How do you feel about your decision? I'm talking beyond the issue of it's a financially solid choice. Can you see yourself growing old with him? I never could with my XAH. My current man I can't imagine life without him even though I know I would be ok. I get what people always talked about growing old with someone now. While this is a program of one day at a time it is ok to have goals, couple goals, your own goals and so on.
What do you think and how do you feel is what really counts in the big picture of all of this. Sending lots of prayers your direction!!
Hugs S :)
Iamhere said
Feb 4, 2017
(((Alyce))) - sending you hugs, positive thoughts and prayers! Trust the program and the process and hold on to one day at a time...
YARNCRAZY said
Feb 4, 2017
Serenity thanks for the thoughts you expressed. Yes i can defintely imagine growing old with him. You see, i originally met and dated him 27 years ago,right before i met and married eventually my XAH. Actually, i have discovered through some painful inventorying that i really married my XAH for security. he had a good job in his family business and eventually was supposed to inherit a chunk of cash. Instead as of today, he is penniless, a man so sick with his alcoholism he almost died 3 times these past few yrs.
my present man doesnt have that problem and lives a very modst lifestyle. he pays attetion to me,is kind,caring,funny with lots of same interests as me and very supportive. which im glad we got a second chance with each other.
hotrod said
Feb 4, 2017
((Alyce)) Positive thoughts on the way
LinSC said
Feb 5, 2017
Alyce, well your not homeless anyway, I hope you can get some of the financial stuff out of the way and decide whether you chose to stay with your guy or not we all need choices. Nothing is easy, sometimes just takes persistance. He sounds like a nice guy. Linsc
well im going to be doing something, i hadnt planned. i left xah a year and 2 months ago, planning to get a job,live on my own and practice my new found indepence with alanon teachings. well economics just hit. no job found,been on unemployment etc and this week rent increased as well as some credit card debt etc. I am going to have to move in with my boyfriend[the hoarder] who is a wonderful man . we inteded to look for a new house but not this sooon. in the meantime i will be there with my stuff also, helping him organize and clean full time. this way i can save my money and take care of some debt etc. send prayers and esh to me
alyce
Since venturing into dating it's been an eye opening experience as to what my part in my last relationship was and just the idea of living with someone again it is something that even just dating for me is a whole lot of communication, communication, communication, acceptance, letting go of the little stuff (deal breakers do not count as little stuff), boundaries and so on. We are relatively new into things and all I can say is being older there is a different set of baggage that comes along with the package and it's like dealing with Samsonite the stuff from the 60's .. lol. I don't know that I'm made out for relationships as a whole .. I do know I am happy with where I am at and that's what counts for me. If things stay exactly the way they are I'm ok with that.
How do you feel about your decision? I'm talking beyond the issue of it's a financially solid choice. Can you see yourself growing old with him? I never could with my XAH. My current man I can't imagine life without him even though I know I would be ok. I get what people always talked about growing old with someone now. While this is a program of one day at a time it is ok to have goals, couple goals, your own goals and so on.
What do you think and how do you feel is what really counts in the big picture of all of this. Sending lots of prayers your direction!!
Hugs S :)
my present man doesnt have that problem and lives a very modst lifestyle. he pays attetion to me,is kind,caring,funny with lots of same interests as me and very supportive. which im glad we got a second chance with each other.
Alyce, well your not homeless anyway, I hope you can get some of the financial stuff out of the way and decide whether you chose to stay with your guy or not we all need choices. Nothing is easy, sometimes just takes persistance. He sounds like a nice guy. Linsc