just a brief background , I am British but live in Italy with my husband . We have been together 16 years and his alcoholism has now , and after gradually growing become a huge problem , and a very dangerous problem
I a man trying to keep everything going , the business , homelife etc but have found myself disabled this week with fear and am paranoid . Our business is customer based and I repeatedly lie to our clientele , when they enquire as to how my husband is , I cover up for his absence and up until now have managed , through paying other workers to keep on top of everything
he locks himself away and drinks all day and each evening becomes abusive sending me texts from his room and my heart stops every time he comes out of his room
he destroys the house each evening , leaving his dirty dishes and clothes all over , he spits on the floor , smokes in the bedroom , and on top of that calls me all the names under the sun
i now find myself crying all the time , finding it difficult to do my daily routine and finding it hard to eat , I have tummy ache and headaches from crying
no meetings here , nearest one 2 hours drive
help
hotrod said
Feb 2, 2017
Hello Schnunkell Welcome You are not alone and there is hope. Alcoholism is a chronic progressive dreadful disease over which we are powerless, Alanon is a recovery program for family members who have lived with or are living with the insanity and need the support and understanding of people who truly understand. They will offer comfort and support as you develop new tools to live by I understand that you do not have face to face meetings in your community so I suggest that you attend our ON LINE meetings.
Meetings 9 AM EST Mon-Fri 9 PM EST Mon-Sat 10 AM EST Sat & Sun 7 PM EST Sunday
Iamhere said
Feb 2, 2017
Welcome to MIP schnunkell - so glad you found us and glad that you reached out. As Betty suggests, this disease is powerful and progressive. It's considered a family disease as those of us who live with and/or love an alcoholic often develop distorted thinking and become a hostage to the disease.
We don't really give advice and Betty has directed you to the online meetings here....they are a great start and perfect for those who can't get to local meetings. We do suggest if there is abuse in your living situation that you protect yourself however you can/need to - know who to call should you need assistance, keep a bag packed in the car in case you need to 'go' in a hurry, etc.
I would also suggest that you go to YouTube and see if you can find any speakers that you can relate to. Speaker meetings in the beginning for me were very helpful to understand we truly are not alone and there is hope and help in recovery.
Keep coming back - (((Hugs)))...
luv123 said
Feb 2, 2017
Welcome-so sorry for what u are going through--u truly are not alone. I agree with the suggestions already given. There is a lot of hope--so many of us have lived through similar challenges and come out the other side strong in our Al-anon tools, understanding all the choices that are available. One of the first tools I heard which helped me with violent outbursts was "learn to detach"so I read all the literature on detachment and starte getting clear on how I might apply it to my situation--also I heard Q-tip--quit taking it (the disease) personally. It felt so personal, but feelings aren't facts--I learned how to do self care regardless of what the Alc. decided he was doing. I sometimes chose not to read texts--I learned knew responses to old situations.
If u can call the U.S. at all there are also phone meetings:
Another place to turn beyond local meetings is the phone bridge--it is a U.S. number available 6-8 times each day for ppl to have a conference meeting on. Meetings are generally very well attended & organized. When u call in u will be muted, but the prompt will explain how to un-mute if u choose to share. Sometimes there are 100 ppl on the meeting calling in from all over the world.
Here is
part of schedule-there are more meetings listed online &
for that or more details on the specific mtng topics go to
al
-anon.org click on find a meeting, then click phone meetings.
There are several phone bridge numbers. The one I am most familiar with is 712-432-8733 pin #52639... .... (Eastern standard time) daily 6a, 9a, 12pm, 4p, 8p, 10p , many nights at midnight (with a few exceptions on weekends sat/ sunday 8 am & 10am rather than at 9, I believe...)BUT for ALL the meeting times you can also call the 712-432-8733 just press this pin # instead: (keypad numbers that correspond with the word TIMES)
hello
just a brief background , I am British but live in Italy with my husband . We have been together 16 years and his alcoholism has now , and after gradually growing become a huge problem , and a very dangerous problem
I a man trying to keep everything going , the business , homelife etc but have found myself disabled this week with fear and am paranoid . Our business is customer based and I repeatedly lie to our clientele , when they enquire as to how my husband is , I cover up for his absence and up until now have managed , through paying other workers to keep on top of everything
he locks himself away and drinks all day and each evening becomes abusive sending me texts from his room and my heart stops every time he comes out of his room
he destroys the house each evening , leaving his dirty dishes and clothes all over , he spits on the floor , smokes in the bedroom , and on top of that calls me all the names under the sun
i now find myself crying all the time , finding it difficult to do my daily routine and finding it hard to eat , I have tummy ache and headaches from crying
no meetings here , nearest one 2 hours drive
help
Al-Anon Family Group
Meeting/Chat Room
Meetings
9 AM EST Mon-Fri
9 PM EST Mon-Sat
10 AM EST Sat & Sun
7 PM EST Sunday
We don't really give advice and Betty has directed you to the online meetings here....they are a great start and perfect for those who can't get to local meetings. We do suggest if there is abuse in your living situation that you protect yourself however you can/need to - know who to call should you need assistance, keep a bag packed in the car in case you need to 'go' in a hurry, etc.
I would also suggest that you go to YouTube and see if you can find any speakers that you can relate to. Speaker meetings in the beginning for me were very helpful to understand we truly are not alone and there is hope and help in recovery.
Keep coming back - (((Hugs)))...
Welcome-so sorry for what u are going through--u truly are not alone. I agree with the suggestions already given. There is a lot of hope--so many of us have lived through similar challenges and come out the other side strong in our Al-anon tools, understanding all the choices that are available. One of the first tools I heard which helped me with violent outbursts was "learn to detach"so I read all the literature on detachment and starte getting clear on how I might apply it to my situation--also I heard Q-tip--quit taking it (the disease) personally. It felt so personal, but feelings aren't facts--I learned how to do self care regardless of what the Alc. decided he was doing. I sometimes chose not to read texts--I learned knew responses to old situations.
If u can call the U.S. at all there are also phone meetings:
Another place to turn beyond local meetings is the phone bridge--it is a U.S. number available 6-8 times each day for ppl to have a conference meeting on. Meetings are generally very well attended & organized. When u call in u will be muted, but the prompt will explain how to un-mute if u choose to share. Sometimes there are 100 ppl on the meeting calling in from all over the world.
There are several phone bridge numbers. The one I am most familiar with is 712-432-8733 pin #52639... .... (Eastern standard time) daily 6a, 9a, 12pm, 4p, 8p, 10p , many nights at midnight (with a few exceptions on weekends sat/ sunday 8 am & 10am rather than at 9, I believe...)BUT for ALL the meeting times you can also call the 712-432-8733 just press this pin # instead: (keypad numbers that correspond with the word TIMES)